The First Self-Driving Car for Women: An Operating Manual
Go ahead and smile, because that's how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see resting bitch face. There it is. There's our pretty lady. Step inside.
Go ahead and smile, because that's how you operate the remote keyless entry. No one wants to see resting bitch face. There it is. There's our pretty lady. Step inside.
I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
I'm a woman who knows what she wants, and an unkempt sexual novice dedicated to preserving the genetic purity of the white race is so not one of them.
Why spend the night with a random internet hookup who describes you as a "sex kitten" when you can hold a real kitten?
The heart wants long johns from Saks. The heart can't get long johns from Saks unless it can get into the subway, but it used all it's coins.
More friendly advice for those women thinking about online dating...because my advice for men the first time around wasn't enough.
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Mere moments after meeting her, she begins choking violently. A quick Heimlich produces an unsettling amount of used condoms. YES / NO
DOCTOR: First, your brain. It’s no good. You have a condition known as neuromaniacosis. It means you whine too much.
After I wrote my friend Dave a letter of recommendation, his dating dry spell ended immediately. Now I'm giving you permission to use the same template!
Oh, hey, hi! No, I'm not mad you're half an hour late. But I'm not sure why you're standing there holding that ginormous box of condoms.
Download Grindr and find a Face, lest you wind up messaging the Headless Horseman. You don't want to be the guy who gives head to the Headless Horseman.