The 50 Stages of Toddler Grief
HUNGER: They will want to eat something blue, but not blueberries. Blue. JOY: You managed to find food that is their favorite color!
HUNGER: They will want to eat something blue, but not blueberries. Blue. JOY: You managed to find food that is their favorite color!
I spoke at the Republican National Convention for Trump! What more do I have to do to prove that I’ll do literally anything?
And though he was quite charming over the phone, in-person it was hard not to focus on his exceptionally poor oral hygiene.
I know you don’t get me, but there was once a time when people just like you would walk past and think, “Wow. That’s one heck of a sculpture."
Your years of unemployment in your home country put you at a distinct disadvantage. And we can find no official immigrant category of “prince.”
“Hell” is my collection of art pieces that explores suffering as an innate part of the human condition. What it isn’t is a punishment.
Graduations: Oprah in black informing Stephen Colbert’s audience that the tests are back and they all have chlamydia.
“Stop your nonsense and drink your whiskey!” / “Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.” / "We are never ever, ever, ever getting back together.”
Wow. If you’ve photoshopped with me before, you know I like big ol’ tushies. And, there he is. That’s a big ol’ tush.
Coding is a great creative outlet, but only the most talented people become CEOs of publicly traded companies.
In a corner with a martini covering 75% of my face, I can weave an intricate tapestry of all the backroom drama unfolding behind closed doors.
Bernie Sanders: Call me whatever name you want. At the end of the day, I am the only sailor who has the guts to fight for real change on this ship.