Hostage Emails From My Brother’s Kidnappers
I want to complement the kidnappers’ willingness to take down all of Larry’s dictation. That’s very considerate for kidnappers. He’s lucky.
I want to complement the kidnappers’ willingness to take down all of Larry’s dictation. That’s very considerate for kidnappers. He’s lucky.
I am dead-frozen inside, and this fleece vest is the only thing that holds my cold capitalist heart at a temperature resembling warm-blooded life.
When I got a text from my wife that you looked at her beautiful food grinders and said, “Are these rocks in your mouth? Who put these in?” I got mad.
“D-Did I leave my Chapstick over here?” Meadowbrook blurted. “Oh!” She said. “If you did, I haven’t seen it. Maybe it floated out of your pod?”
There were signs: Marco Rubio found Mitch had recently searched for “sexy outraged citizens tear male politician to shreds video.”
Let’s acknowledge that I’m the only person in this company with a catchphrase. The comedic effect of “cowabunga, dude!” is enhanced by repetition.
We care about your wellbeing because we don’t need your fat ass jacking up our healthcare costs.
Instead of saying “Yes, would you be available on Friday?”, I accidentally replied, “You’re a disgusting pig, your entire existence is meaningless.”
He was there all hours of the day, rain or shine, lost in the peace of his mellow being. He returned none of our casual hellos and friendly waves.
Cheryl senses my sadness/frustration/anger/anything-cry-worthy-even-if-it’s-just-a-movie and will suddenly be on my doorstep with brownies in hand.
Some genres start off as an experiment. Others, like Freshcore, start off as a fake song recorded for a deodorant commercial.
One of the recurring characters in season four is Frasier Crane, who is a psychologist. And yet, "Game of Thrones" doesn’t have any psychologists.