Dear Nicole,



I'm a freshman and it's the first week of college, what's an easy way to get my female classmates to like me?



-Ty

 

Dear Ty,



I don't know. But in my experience, girls aren’t attracted to
guys who order huge swarms of locusts, then release them into our dorms. Thirty-seven students died of locust inhalation. The moral of the story? Don't go to
college.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
 
Dear Nicole,



Why are fat guys picky about how their women look? How come we often see fat guys with hot girls, but not vice versa? This pisses me off!



-Peaches

 
Dear Peaches,



It’s a double standard, no question. Sometimes I’m
walking down the street and see some fat dude with his arm around a stick-thin girl. As she struggles for air, flailing vainly in the folds of his armpit,
I’m thinking, we exterminated the dinosaurs for this?



Sincerely,

Nicole

 

Next question below ad

Dear Nicole,



Why are guys suck f*cking liars and assholes?



-Shana

 
Dear Shana,



I think it's glandular.



Sincerely,

Nicole