Well, gals, I made it! Aren't you proud of me? I finally convinced my friend Mikey to let me voice my opinion on Points In Case! It's my
first issue of The Soft Way! HEHE! YAY! Well maybe in the future I'll be more organized, but today's topic is basically this: Getting Some Things Off My
Chest… My cute, perky C-cup chest.



And the first of those things is creepy men at the nightclub, EWWW!



Anyways here's where it all went… whatever let's just get started!


Liars and Cheaters

Our lovely new columnist: Michelle.
Wait your turn boys.  

Are there any nice guys out there? I swear it's like I live in Sin City here. Seems like every guy is a hardened criminal with no sensitivity
or has scars all over his face! Not to mention black and white color tone, HELLO? Get some color! Josh Hartnett is okay though, let's just say I'd still adore him if he
was a 100 dpi grayscale image printed off the Internet… which is what I currently have of him posted on my wall… in the bathroom… next to my "electric
toothbrush." HEHEHE I can't believe I just said that on the Internet!

But seriously guys, ya'll need to play fair. Too many of my friends are getting screwed over (literally) because you lie to them. If we were
playing Dating Monopoly, ya'll would be the ones stealing money from the bank, which is stupid because it's fake anyway… just like our orgasms. Guys quit being
assholes and just be honest. Girls quit falling in love with the first guy who gets
you a drink at a party. Wait for the 3rd or 4th! C'mon we're smarter than them. A little advice for the BOYS out there: women hate fakers, just act genuine and
you will gain so much more respect from us. There's nothing more unattractive than a guy who puts on a ridiculous front.



So let us see that backside every once in a while.


Clothes Minded

I wish guys would take a moment to notice how much trouble we go through just to impress them. Actually that's not true, mostly we're trying
to one-up that bitch in the slutty dress. But we do like to be noticed every once in a while. Would it hurt you to comment on our haircut the day after instead of three
weeks later? Or start small: "Those are cute earrings… I like that necklace… That shirt shows the tops of your boobs." We'll get what you're trying to say and
the answer is NO, no sex behind the dumpster, tonight. Guys, I can't stress how much your words affect us. It's kinda pathetic I know, but then again so is your 4-inch
wiener. Whoops. Jenny says I wasn't supposed to tell you she told me!



My point is this guys: Stop treating our clothes as just another barrier in the obstacle course of love. You have to have more respect for us than that. I'll put it in terms you understand. Women choose their clothes meticulously.
They are like wrapping paper on a Christmas gift: tear them off to get to the box—wait no, I mean they're like petals of a flower: meant to attract visitors who
suckle our sweet nectar—shit, this isn't working. Look, just give us the courtesy of noticing that our panties match the shirt which is now crumpled on the
floor.



And now the bra, too? Wow you're a go-getter!


Staring and Caring



Now while women don't like to go unnoticed, we likewise don't want to be noticed too much if you know what I mean. I mean we don't want perverts drooling all over
us… because that's gross, and creates hazardous slip zones when we're in our stilettos. Now I realize we sometimes wear hot clothing that makes you want us, that's
the point. Shirts with breast windows, skirts that flip up in the wind… damn we are sexy. But c'mon guys have some dignity, we only do that because you don't notice
when we cut our hair. Why can't guys be interested in us as people? We just
want to find someone who we can talk to, who can share nothing moments and not be bored, someone can reveal to us the inside of their soul in much the same way we have
revealed the outside of our bodies.



I guess I should give guys credit. The difference between romantically gazing into my eyes and disgustingly ogling my ladies is less than a foot. I would be much more
lenient if it wasn't the first time a guy fell short by a couple of inches. I don't care if you make a quick fly-by. In fact that's kinda flattering, certainly perks my
day up. But when he's locked on with his targeting computer and is making an attack run, I'm sorry pal, that's when I eject and you're flying solo for the night.



And don't think I'm letting you in the cockpit.



Michelle: This is Ground Control to Flight 64, you are flying a little close.

Guy: This is Flight 64 to Ground Control, requesting permission to land.

Michelle: Negative, Flight 64 the runway is not cleared for your approach.

Guy: C'mon Ground Control, you know I'm the bomb.

Michelle: Flight 64, please retract your landing gear, I appreciate the gesture, but I can't just let you run a plane on me.

|