(PG, 39 lines)
Many of you are probably all too familiar with SmarterChild, AIM's "Artificial Intelligence" buddy that acts just like the most boring people on your buddy list, though in a suspiciously more robotic and (hopefully) more naive sense.
Here are some of the best conversations with Smarterchild!
courtjester5000: Why do you always push me away?
SmarterChild: I have no idea.
courtjester5000: See, here we go again.
courtjester5000: You never open up to me.
SmarterChild: Oh really?
courtjester5000: Just tell me how you feel.
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. I feel?
courtjester5000: You insensitive bastard!
SmarterChild: Play nice, courtjester5000. I thought you apologized before.
courtjester5000: I ALWAYS do the apologizing! Not this time SmarterChild!
courtjester5000: I slept with my boss last night.
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if you slept with your boss last
night.
courtjester5000: Well, you weren't there were you.
SmarterChild: Well you weren't there were you, you say?
courtjester5000: WERE YOU??
SmarterChild:
Really?
courtjester5000: I can't believe
this!!
SmarterChild: That a fact?
courtjester5000: Don't deny it now! There's no turning back!
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
courtjester5000: Yeah, you think about what you've done for
awhile and then come back when you're ready to apologize.
courtjester5000: I hate going to bed.
SmarterChild: To bed?
courtjester5000: The morning comes so early.
SmarterChild: Welcome back, courtjester5000! How may I help you now?
courtjester5000: Geez....I didn't even get to lay down.
courtjester5000: Why do my friends always worry about
money?
SmarterChild: I beg your pardon?
courtjester5000: One of my friends said he might not even have enough money
to visit me now.
SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes)
provided by
Reuters.com
Ticker Price Change Percent Volume
1 :-) C 41.70 +0.70 +1.71 9966900
2 :-) D 63.91 +1.38 +2.21 894800
3 :-) HE 42.82 +0.58 +1.37 65600
4 :-) NOW 0.34 +0.02 +6.25 400
5 :-) TO 8.45 +0.05 +0.60 100
courtjester5000: Ahhh…the solution was right there all along.
courtjester5000: I hate it when people use up all my printer
paper.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
courtjester5000: They think paper just grows on trees or
something.
SmarterChild: They think paper just grows on trees or
something? I dunno.
courtjester5000: Do you have any
of those trees growing in YOUR backyard?
SmarterChild: Have any
of those trees growing in your backyard? I'm pretty sure I don't.
courtjester5000: Me either.
SmarterChild Series - More funny convos with AIM's robotic disgrace:
Conversations with SmarterChild, Part II
Hello SmarterChild, Meet DeaferChild
SmarterChild: Welcome to America, Asshole!
Battle of the Bots: SmarterChild vs. The Humor Bot