(PG, 174 lines)
Teetering the line between two intellectually opposite IM personalities, the Humor Bot takes advantage of a case of mistaken identity with delicate skill, careful probing, and swift adaptation. Read carefully as the confusion in this brainteaser love connection shifts from Bot to victim.
spongebob10362: is it u mike
courtjester5000: ya
spongebob10362: okai r u mad @ me 2
spongebob10362: guess y amanda's mad @ me
courtjester5000: y
spongebob10362: becaz shes mad @ kaitlin becaz she likes chris l***** n kaitlin is goin out wit
him n since kaitlin n corrin were over a lil bit ago...shes mad @ me
spongebob10362: so since kaitlins goin out wit sum1 she likes she h8s me
spongebob10362: does that make sense or wat
spongebob10362: brb
spongebob10362: k back
courtjester5000: Kind of confusing, but I'm propagating the internal definitions
of your intentions.
spongebob10362: mike i cant understand them big words
spongebob10362: cud u simplify that there
spongebob10362: that doesnt even make sense
spongebob10362: lolz
courtjester5000: k, well amanda likes chris right
spongebob10362: thatz wat i heard
spongebob10362: frum chris
spongebob10362: lolz
spongebob10362: n other ppl
courtjester5000: and u hang 0ut wit kaitlin
spongebob10362: ya
spongebob10362: so wat
spongebob10362: ur typin long?
spongebob10362: lol
courtjester5000: So by the transitive property of simple algebra you are now linked to Kaitlin, and by
the associative property of being intimately linked to Kaitlin, you are now perceived as a direct threat to Amanda since by your indecision you are inherently approving of
Kaitlin's actions with Chris, who Amanda likes.
spongebob10362: wooow
courtjester5000: Am I making any sense here?
spongebob10362: nope
spongebob10362: simplify it plz
courtjester5000: Okay.
spongebob10362: so by me bein friends wit kaitlin, im a threat 2 amanda since she likes chris n kaitlins
goin out wit him n i approve of that?
courtjester5000: ur hangin out wit kaitlin, an that
aint right cuz shes a bitch since she shud let chris go out wit amanda
spongebob10362: y wud she let chris go out wit amanda wen ur goin out wit her!!
courtjester5000: Oh....
courtjester5000: Right.
spongebob10362: unless u guyz broke up n NO1 knoes n ur profiles say u luv eachother
spongebob10362: u dont get it
spongebob10362: n once again...ur stickin up 4 amanda
spongebob10362: over me
spongebob10362: and n e wayz...
spongebob10362: me n chris r frenz n i kinda set up kaitlin n chris sooo
spongebob10362: u hav a problem wit that?
courtjester5000: Well listen...
spongebob10362: n u dont kare that amanda likes another guy wen ur goin out
spongebob10362: caz this aint pajor then
courtjester5000: i car about amanda
courtjester5000: but i no wats been goin on
spongebob10362: so...?
spongebob10362: wats goin on?
spongebob10362: lolz...im lost here
courtjester5000: chris relly like$ amanda and amanda told me she like$ chris
courtjester5000: i sed, thats cool as long as you keep doin my math hw 4 me
courtjester5000: we can stil go 0ut
courtjester5000: So you see, though Amanda may be cheating on me in THEORY, in reality she is making up
for her unfaithfulness by performing acts of academic support.
spongebob10362: ha i understood that
spongebob10362: okai so she can like another guy wen ur goin out but im not aloud 2 like u wen ur goin
out wit her?
courtjester5000: u like me 2?
spongebob10362: um thatz old news there hun
courtjester5000: This is getting crazier by the minute.
courtjester5000: Okay listen...
spongebob10362: okai im listenin
spongebob10362: lolz
courtjester5000: i like u, and u like me
courtjester5000: amanda like$ chris, and chris like$ amanda
courtjester5000: By the transitive properties of common sense, we should perform an economic exchange of
relationship partners.
spongebob10362: since wen do u like me
courtjester5000: Oh....
courtjester5000: Right.
courtjester5000: well, ive b33n thinkin bout it
courtjester5000: n i didn wanna tell u b4
spongebob10362: okai r u relle smart r sumthin caz i dont even knoe wat half of the things ur sayin
mean
courtjester5000: do u h8 me now?
spongebob10362: noooo
courtjester5000: Oh okay.
courtjester5000: So, shall we trade partners?
courtjester5000: I can go out with you, and Chris and Amanda can go out now.
courtjester5000: And then we can all go on double dates and eat pecan-caramel parfait sundaes at Dairy
Queen.
spongebob10362: lolz
spongebob10362: okai is this even mike
courtjester5000: ya duh
spongebob10362: well then y r we talkin 2 eachother in 2 IMs
courtjester5000: where shud we b tlaking?
spongebob10362: dunno
courtjester5000: ru in the other room or sumthin?
spongebob10362: nope im @ my house
spongebob10362: lol
spongebob10362: wit my bro n his friend brian
courtjester5000: ru mad r sumthin then?
spongebob10362: lolz
spongebob10362: no im juss confused
courtjester5000: So it looks like Kaitlin is going to eat the raw end of this whole deal
huh.
spongebob10362: aww but i feel bad 4 her then
spongebob10362: lol
spongebob10362: shes my frend
courtjester5000: Well listen...
courtjester5000: Old friends die hard, and true love don't come easy, babe.
spongebob10362: okai i dont even knoe if this is u or not
spongebob10362: caz 1.u never talked smart b4 lolz
spongebob10362: 2.how can i knoe?
spongebob10362: 3.i dunno
courtjester5000: 1. sumtimes i get this thing in my head where all these big words come rushing in like
a tsunami on the wings of a bat out of hell
courtjester5000: 2. i dunno wear they cum from
courtjester5000: 3. i still dunno
spongebob10362: lolz...well then u shud b in honors caz ur smarter than me
courtjester5000: Honestly, I should be done with college right now.
courtjester5000: I feel like I already know so much.
spongebob10362: n i shudnt b
spongebob10362: lolz...ya caz ur juss so smart
courtjester5000: Well thanks, you are too.....
courtjester5000: *Ahem*
spongebob10362: nope im dum
spongebob10362: lol
courtjester5000: Oh, well listen...
spongebob10362: im barely passin math
spongebob10362: im doin a lot of listenin her
spongebob10362: here*
courtjester5000: At least they make lollipops for people like you.
spongebob10362: lolz
courtjester5000: im passin math, but only bcuz of amanda
courtjester5000: maybe we shudnt break up
courtjester5000: especially if u cant do math
spongebob10362: u hav gaynor for math class?
spongebob10362: lolz caz i sux @ math
spongebob10362: i can do math...juss not algebra
courtjester5000: Damn, I wanted a pecan-caramel parfait sundae real bad too.
spongebob10362: the frunt of my math book says DHS
spongebob10362: so im doin high skewl shyt
spongebob10362: i dont get
spongebob10362: n gaynors not helpin since she dont teach
courtjester5000: Gaynors is just having marital problems ever since her second husband's ex-wife woke
from a 15-year coma and he started confusing his old emotions with those for Gaynors.
courtjester5000: But that's another story, another day. We don't have time for extra-marital affairs
here.
courtjester5000: So listen...
courtjester5000: We need to resolve this whole makeups-to-breakups issue at hand.
spongebob10362: okai if this is mike...wat did i juss say 2 u on ur other sn
courtjester5000: thats on my other comp
courtjester5000: im in the other room
spongebob10362: so ur in 2 places @ once?
spongebob10362: ritee
courtjester5000: na, im talkin on dis sn now
courtjester5000: im signed on in the other room
spongebob10362: not relle
courtjester5000: k, so should i stay wit amanda???
courtjester5000: or shuld we go out
spongebob10362: ive got no idea n im totally confused here
courtjester5000: fine den u dont believe me, how can i go out wit u if u dont trust me
spongebob10362: ahh i am soo confused here
courtjester5000: ur just stalling
spongebob10362: no im not
spongebob10362: im juss relle relle relle confused
spongebob10362: this aint mike
spongebob10362: it cant b
spongebob10362: i think
courtjester5000: i cant believe u, y dont u just ask chris
spongebob10362: huh
courtjester5000: nevermind, newayz
spongebob10362: no wat do u mean
courtjester5000: i dont think u like me nemore
spongebob10362: who said that
courtjester5000: It's just that, well listen...
courtjester5000: I'm looking for a long-term commitment here and if you're not ready for that in your
life, I understand, but at the same time we can't pursue a future together. I might hate you for the next two months, but eventually I will grow to accept you as a friend, thank
myself for letting you go, and later try to hookup with you again, but only for the "ex-crush" thrill factor.
==========Chat Room Invitation From spongebob10362=========
You have just entered room "Chat 2987377972850798327."
iheartamanda4eve has entered the room.
spongebob10362: wo*
courtjester5000: whoa
spongebob10362: im so totally confused here
courtjester5000: amanda,
courtjester5000: i was juss sayin u needa go out wit chris
iheartamanda4eve: who
spongebob10362: huh
courtjester5000: wha
iheartamanda4eve has left the room.
spongebob10362 has left the room.
=============End Chat Room With spongebob10362===========
spongebob10362: wat the hell
courtjester5000: neway, im rambling now
spongebob10362: is goin on here
courtjester5000: i think i got ADD r sumpin
spongebob10362: rite
spongebob10362: brb
courtjester5000: k fine
spongebob10362: bye
courtjester5000: sweet dreams
spongebob10362: deff not
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