I've been accustomed to Facebook for about a year, and its been a good relationship. I've met a few people through it, poked someone here and there. Now its old, something of the past, at least for me. My friend Mitch, who goes to an obscure school in Minnesota, just got it at his school. He treats it like its the greatest thing ever invented. It is his guilty pleasure. So, here is my guess of what is going through his mind at this moment now that he's addicted to Facebook. Just like us at one point.

I have to hustle and get home to see if those two girls agreed to be my virtual friends. Man, that would be awesome if they agreed. My friends list would now read a total of 60. I would be the most popular fucker at this school, and damn do the ladies love the popular guys. They have no idea that I'm using this to virtually stalk them. Stalking is so easy now that I don't have to hide and quickly look away to avoid eyecontact. Man that's awkward.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will get laid tonight with all of the knowledge that I will have obtained from Facebook.

Ok, lets see how many friends I added today. Four?!? What the fuck is that!?! Who didn't respond to my friend invitation? Phil? Fuck him I didn't like him anyway, that fat prick. I didn't need him to make me virtually popular anyway. Asshole. I already have 64 friends and its only been one week. I better started adding people from my high school that I never talked to so I can boost my virtual popularity.

God damn I'm a popular son-of-a-bitch. Sam only has 20 friends, goddamn loser. He needs to poke more people. I've poked more people this week then Wilt Chamberlain did in a lifetime. GOD DAMN DO I LOVE TO POKE HOT BITCHES!!

Whoa, that girl is fucking hot I better poke her! She's going to be so happy when she sees that someone as popular as me took the time to poke her. And she likes to drink, but she's only a freshman. Ah, who cares she's still ridiculously hot and would probably jump at the chance to putout for me if we met on the street.

Why aren't people writing on my wall. I have 65 friends for godsakes the least they could do is write something witty on my wall. Maybe if I poke them enough times they'll write something. They better or I'll take those bastards off of my friends list. That'll teach 'em.

I'm so popular its ridiculous!

Ok, that's enough for now. Wait I better get one last poke in before bed.

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