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    Nick Gaudio's picture

    My Best Orgasms, Part 2

    My Best Orgasms, Part II
    Subtitle: Promiscuous Teenage Naked Dry-humping (for fucking 3 years of waiting and getting no penetration!) ARGH.


    I used to have this friend named Christina.

    The reason I used the past tense in that opening statement just so happens to be the same reason it's my second best orgasm as well. This week, I think I'll put this in poetic form.

    Ya see,
    Christina lived down the street from me
    from when I was eight
    until an age appropri-ate
    for this story to happen
    (I don't remember,
    get off my nuts).

    Well, Christina was the kind of girl
    who would hang out with only boys.

    Except not a fucking butch!
    (see: your highschool softball team's catcher; any female Rugby player; Simonne Cullen; a woman who can open a bottle of beer with her teeth)
    She didn't even have short hair
    but now we see
    f
    a
    c
    We all wanted to e
    a
    t
    that nice pussy.
    But, we were
    t
    r
    u
    wussies
    That is, until I
    shot it in her throat
    gave her tongue a slimy coat
    put her on a boat
    of pure
    bliss

    then!

    she of course didn't know
    whether to spit or to swallow

    (long story short)*

    so i pinched her nose shut
    and gave her her first taste
    of my nut.

    (long story short)**

    ...restraining order.

    The end.





    Or is it?




    *See Subtitle, ya fucking moron.
    **As any warm-blooded male mammal would do...I left her when I went off to college.




    (That's what I'm gettin at TN)
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