(I'm not a racist)

Let’s Lynch Tyra Banks

Me: “Let’s Lynch Tyra Banks. Is that a good title?”
Kellen: “I don’t like her. I think she’s annoying. So…yes.”

Let’s lynch Tyra Banks,
blacks and whites alike.
Let’s go out and find the oldest tree
growing on the pike.

Let’s get a rope that can support her weight
one very, very strong.
Let’s throw it over the highest bough
and sing a happy song.

Let’s sing Waterfalls
and something about Scrubs!
Let’s throw our hands up in the air
and give each other hugs.

Let’s make sure that noose is thick,
that it may mock her as so gaudy.
Let’s throw donuts at her while she sways,
lick sprinkles from her body.

Let’s develop a point system,
one that is quite slicing.
What sticks and stones don’t break her bones
will be made up by the icing.

Let’s have this system based
upon her fattest parts.
Three for her chin, five per ass,
triple points if she farts.

Let’s pick our favorite thigh
and inch of cellulite.
Let’s stab that inch and drink her blood
with a hint of Crystal Light.

Let’s mock her with “You go girl!”
and say that Oprah sends her love.
Let’s all wear brown with black shoes
and a Michael Jackson glove.

Let’s ask the crowd
“Who watched her miserable shit?!”
With a baseball bat
barbed with wire, they shall be clubbed and hit!

Let’s not give her Last Words,
She’ll only use them to cry.
She’ll explain how difficult it was to grow up black
but she won’t remember why.

She’ll somehow neglect the fact that she was,
at one point, very stunning.
She’ll forget that a beauty
need never be at all very cunning.

She’ll lecture us for hours,
what she thinks this about our country.
Who cares, we’ll say, You’re just another idiot
who happens to have some money.

Let’s tell her that her program,
America’s Next Top Model,
made her father kill himself,
turned her mother to the bottle.

Let’s shove a stick of dynamite up her pussy.
Let’s light and run away.
The only people who’ll gasp,
Are the guys we know are gay.

Let’s tell the networks that nobody
nobody has died at all!
Let’s replace Ms. Banks, be thrilled!
Her double is Rupaul!

The End.

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