This skit takes place inside of an electronics store (like Best Buy or Circuit City).

Male Employee: "I mean call me a faggot but I think Blu-Ray is way better than HD-DVD."

Female Customer: "Mmhmm."

Employee: "Call me a faggot."

Customer: "...fag."

Employee: "Thanks..." (gives customer a weird look like he's offended) "The only catch with Blu-Ray DVD's is that you have to rewind them...Remember VHS tapes?"

Customer: "Ha. I remember records! Come on, VHS wasn't that old."

Employee: "Whatever. Anyways, you have to do the same thing with Blu-Ray that you did with VHS - Be Kind, Rewind. Don't Put Yourself In A Regret-Filled Bind, Rewind. If The Meaning To Life Is What You Seek To Find, Rewind. You get what I mean?"

Customer: "Yeah, of course."

Employee: "I don't think you do. Here..." (he walks a couple steps, trips and does a fake fall, and lands on his stomach. He lies on the ground and looks back, raising and lowering his eyebrows to hint at his ass, which has a turny crank sticking out of it, like a Jack-in-the-box) "Here - we'll give you a little practice - give 'er a little wind, will ya?"

Customer: (starts turning crank)

Employee: "Yes!...YES! THAT'S IT!"

The customer's husband comes back.

Husband: "What the hell are you doing, Tartha?!?"

Customer: "...Practicing rewinding for when we get Blu-Ray."

Husband: "What?!?"

Employee: (stands up, but is bent forwards as if he's hiding something) "You see, sir, Blu Ray requires a little rewinding. Why don't you try, too, give 'er a little wind, why don't ya?" (walks a couple of steps, trips, lands on his stomach and yells out a yelp of pain as he lands on his midsection)

Husband: "Why would you rewind a disc?" (he says this more like a statement than a question)

Employee: (stands up, dusts himself off and looks female customer in the eyes like her husband isn't even there) "Maybe I just wanted you to wind my ass...is that a crime, huh? If it's a crime to trick someone into winding your ass, then throw me in jail and rape me."

Labels: skit

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