Birthday Bashing with a Side-Order of Hate

Did you want to play baseball?

P.S., I really enjoy the labels. So, uh, keep on doing that.

M.P.S., Softball may have intended to be a pussified version of baseball, but have you ever watched elite college or Olympic softball (I mean, haven't either, I just thought that maybe...or something...)? It's pretty hardcore, and every game features no fewer than a dozen girls that, were they to walk into the locker room, would cut your showering time in half.

Yes, I did want to play baseball. I hated softball because it wasn't baseball (and tries to be) and my mother would sign me up for youth league softball behind my back because I wasn't "social enough." I could write on and on about my hatred for softball but it's really just my own misplaced anger for my mother's actions.

i think my last two birthdays beat all of your worst birthdays combined. i got caught being incredibly fucked up drunk by my parents last year, and this year i got kicked off the sports team i play on [i'm back on now]. soo..beat that! you can't.

I wouldn't consider getting drunk and getting kicked off a sports team that bad considering you probably chose to get drunk and did something stupid to get yourself kicked off a sports team. Did your dad call you to tell you of his heart attack on your birthday? No? Because that's what happened to me this year. Please shut the fuck up.

Maybe the gift was that he was well enough to call? I don't want to belittle his heart attack in any way, and I'm sure that's far worse than any birthday I've ever had, but he probably thought you would want to know how he was as soon as possible?

I'm sorry Anony, I'll try to explain with a very short version of the story.
1. two years ago my dad complains of chest pains and pretty much collapses on front lawn. Doesn't go to the f*cking doctor like he should.
2. present, dad goes to the doctor to take some spiffy test that reveals my dad had a heart attack.
3. daughter (me) doesn't call back until late in afternoon just to get a guilt trip from dad about said heart attack.
4. daughter balls eyes out shortly after hanging up.
Really, for someone who is bright, my dad does not act it.

Pointsincase is making me sad.

This isn't good.

your dad had a heart attack because you are a bad writer. its your fault.

p.s. i hope he has another

And the aware for dick head of the year goes to :Anon!

the possibilty of losing your parent is probably the worst thing anyone would ever go through.

congratulations, prick.


i hope everything works out ok, roxy.

*award

Reading this ugly retard's column is worse than having one's entire family die at the same time. She owes me an apology for putting this slop on the internet.

Dick, you could not be more right. I'm sure she came to your house, tied you down, and taped open your eyelids, effectively forcing you to read what she's written.

If she won't, I will offer you an apology. Not for the column; but rather for whatever deficit it is that would make you want to not only read something that made you feel like your family had died, but revel it in, via comment.

P.S. I believe your correct title is "Dickhead", not Dick Head. I would hate for your trophy to be misengraved.

Warmly,

Dickhead of the year honorable mention.

-X- and KM, thank you for your concern. I hate to mention this but calling an asshole by his name doesn't make them shut the fuck up. They seem to think they have some right to talk... something about a 1st Amendment or right like that...

Dickhead Award Winner, if I'm so ugly and retarded you might want to stop masturbating to my head shot and reading my material. Continuing it will only make me think that I'm pretty and that I *gasp* deserve shoes and a job instead of being barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen. However if you were doing it for the lulz, I would strongly suggest going to a blog where there is more traffic. You won't get too much lulz here.

Oh, and it is my fault after all. It turns out I'm a highly addictive drug. He really had no choice but to read the addiction-causing filth I write. I'm sorry for the track marks in your arm Dickhead.

I'm sorry to hear about the rough times Roxy, but things will get better, you can't have the good without the bad, or at least thats what they say. Anyways, your highly addicting filth has me hooked and i'm ok with that =)

Just because she didn't make me read it doesn't mean it isn't an insult to the English langauge. Somewhere, someone punished her for writing this stupid shit by giving her dad a heart attack. If she doesn't heed that warning, he is going to keel over soon. I just hope this abomination that you call a blog ceases to exist before your whole family croaks.

p.s. Even if dick head WAS a real word that you could proofread, the fact that i wrote (sic) means it's not my error. If you are going to be one of those people who tries to proofread other people's posts like grammar and spelling really matter here, at least do it right. Fuckass.

Yes, I know what (sic) means. It's Latin for "thus". I was just making sure that you knew what your exact title was. I'm nice like that.

The point of my post wasn't to correct your grammar. It was to correct your fucked up world outlook. If her karma is going to be fucked up for merely putting her observations, I really don't want to see yours after you wish a fatal heart attack on somebody else.

Fuckass isn't a word.

Ummmmm...you are gay. That is all.

to dick head and all others that read this,
You never say anything about wishing or hoping for someone to die in any way. If that's what you have to do to make yourself a "man" you are nowhere near that.
If you feel her writing is bad, fine, but to say her dad should have another heart attack and die is wrong. If you have nothing better to do than sit on your butt all day and read stuff that you believe is bad writing, I think it is time for reality check and a new life.

Well, "anonymous", now i hope YOUR family dies. The end.