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Rape Support Group
By Paul Frank | Apr 18, 2008
| Comments (2) | Submit an article |
Women are gathered in a circle, all sitting down. A somber mood throughout the room. No one has died, but many have been raped. Actually, all have been raped. But it's not the good kind of rape, like in pornography or high school.
Their are various posters on the wall, none pertaining to rape directly, but could be construed I guess to tie into rape somehow. But basically one gets the impression that other groups meet in this room and this isn't solely a "rape room," if you will.
A woman has just finished telling the story of one of her rapes as the others listen and extend their sympathy through shaking their head and nodding along, imagining the story as if they were there. After all, it's probably similar to their rape. What's that they say? You've seen one rape, you see them all. I think that's the phrase.
"I can still smell him today. He smelled like he rarely showered but covered it up with a lot of Axe. Every time I smell Axe, I'm brought back to that time where I was sexually assaulted by a Starbuck's barista. Every time I see an Axe commercial. Even every time I see Axe in the store. I just wish I could escape all the pain. I just wish..."
A loud noise interrupts her as a man enters the room. The door slams loudly behind him. He is wearing a Deal or No Deal shirt with a tie over it. He appears a bit frazzled, but still calm.
"Sorry I'm late. What up?"
The leader of the group speaks up.
"Welcome, we were just in the middle of Gwen's story about why she doesn't go to Starbuck's anymore...or buy Axe anymore."
"Oh, sweet."
He sits down in an empty seat next to the woman who was telling her story. She continues.
"I just wish they had death penalties for rapists, not just murderers."
Some women nod along enthusiastically at this.
"Whoa."
The guy says this quietly and looks around nervously.
"What are your feelings on this?" the leader asks him.
"I think I'm in the wrong group."
"Stay, my friend, do not be embarrassed. Let us hear of your story. We'll welcome you with open arms."
"Well I dig that. Okay, well rape is so awesome I don't know where to begin. It turned me from a virgin into....they don't even have a word for it, do they?" He thinks for a second. "Sex machine, I guess, would be the best way to describe it." He holds up his hand for a high five to the woman next to him, but she just continues crying. "If you want I could tell some of my rape stories...they're pretty brutal. Hahah."
Everyone in the group is shocked.
The leader speaks up again. "You do realize this is a rape support group, do you not?"
"I totally support rape."
The guy and leader look at each other for several awkward seconds.
Their are various posters on the wall, none pertaining to rape directly, but could be construed I guess to tie into rape somehow. But basically one gets the impression that other groups meet in this room and this isn't solely a "rape room," if you will.
A woman has just finished telling the story of one of her rapes as the others listen and extend their sympathy through shaking their head and nodding along, imagining the story as if they were there. After all, it's probably similar to their rape. What's that they say? You've seen one rape, you see them all. I think that's the phrase.
"I can still smell him today. He smelled like he rarely showered but covered it up with a lot of Axe. Every time I smell Axe, I'm brought back to that time where I was sexually assaulted by a Starbuck's barista. Every time I see an Axe commercial. Even every time I see Axe in the store. I just wish I could escape all the pain. I just wish..."
A loud noise interrupts her as a man enters the room. The door slams loudly behind him. He is wearing a Deal or No Deal shirt with a tie over it. He appears a bit frazzled, but still calm.
"Sorry I'm late. What up?"
The leader of the group speaks up.
"Welcome, we were just in the middle of Gwen's story about why she doesn't go to Starbuck's anymore...or buy Axe anymore."
"Oh, sweet."
He sits down in an empty seat next to the woman who was telling her story. She continues.
"I just wish they had death penalties for rapists, not just murderers."
Some women nod along enthusiastically at this.
"Whoa."
The guy says this quietly and looks around nervously.
"What are your feelings on this?" the leader asks him.
"I think I'm in the wrong group."
"Stay, my friend, do not be embarrassed. Let us hear of your story. We'll welcome you with open arms."
"Well I dig that. Okay, well rape is so awesome I don't know where to begin. It turned me from a virgin into....they don't even have a word for it, do they?" He thinks for a second. "Sex machine, I guess, would be the best way to describe it." He holds up his hand for a high five to the woman next to him, but she just continues crying. "If you want I could tell some of my rape stories...they're pretty brutal. Hahah."
Everyone in the group is shocked.
The leader speaks up again. "You do realize this is a rape support group, do you not?"
"I totally support rape."
The guy and leader look at each other for several awkward seconds.
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Anonymous on January 23rd, 2009:
Huh... and I always thought a post about how rape is funny wouldn't be funny because it would be offensive or something. After reading this though, my new hypothesis is that articles about rape aren't funny because only unfunny people write articles about how funny rape is.
Just a hypothesis. Ima go troll the interweb for more such articles to test it out.
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