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A New Way to Stand Up
By Paul Frank | Dec 13, 2007
| Comments (5) | Submit an article |
A man is lying in bed in his apartment, watching tv. A stand-up comedy special is on.
His roommate bursts into the room.
Roommate: "Dude, that's some really funny material - you should be performing at clubs and stuff."
#2: "...What?"
Roommate: "Whoa, what's going on - " (looks at tv) "Oh, I think I have to go..."
#2: "Wait..." (sits up) "Did you think I was in here practicing stand-up alone?"
Roommate: (laughs nervously) "No...that's what I...I don't...never mind..."
#2: "Wait, is that what you do?"
They stare deep in each other's eyes, silent.
Cut to scene of Roommate performing stand-up in his room alone. He has a stage, lights, tables, and a microphone set up.
Roommate: "Hello, hey, how's everyone doing tonight?"
Show shot of empty tables and chairs.
Roommate: "I can't hear you!" (pauses) "That's more like it." (dons Jerry Seinfeld voice) "What's the deal with African-Americans? They're not African...and they're not Americans..."
Cut to a close-up of just his nervous, darting eyes.
"...At least they wouln't be if I ran the country."
NOTE: This is not the personal opinion of the author (me). If I ran the country, it would be only African-Americans and me.
His roommate bursts into the room.
Roommate: "Dude, that's some really funny material - you should be performing at clubs and stuff."
#2: "...What?"
Roommate: "Whoa, what's going on - " (looks at tv) "Oh, I think I have to go..."
#2: "Wait..." (sits up) "Did you think I was in here practicing stand-up alone?"
Roommate: (laughs nervously) "No...that's what I...I don't...never mind..."
#2: "Wait, is that what you do?"
They stare deep in each other's eyes, silent.
Cut to scene of Roommate performing stand-up in his room alone. He has a stage, lights, tables, and a microphone set up.
Roommate: "Hello, hey, how's everyone doing tonight?"
Show shot of empty tables and chairs.
Roommate: "I can't hear you!" (pauses) "That's more like it." (dons Jerry Seinfeld voice) "What's the deal with African-Americans? They're not African...and they're not Americans..."
Cut to a close-up of just his nervous, darting eyes.
"...At least they wouln't be if I ran the country."
NOTE: This is not the personal opinion of the author (me). If I ran the country, it would be only African-Americans and me.
Labels: skit
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Anonymous on December 13th, 2007:
this was funny. it seems like you're doing alright so far. you've made me laugh more than once.
Anonymous on September 28th, 2010:
muthafucka im black n ima hunt u down n kick you ass!!?"$"!!!
Funny stuff you've got here.
Bill Dixon on September 28th, 2010:
I practice my set in my room with a microphone and amp. I shit you not.
However, I don't set up tables and I don't do my racist material until I get to the club.
funny stuff.
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