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Josh: MAN...I'd totally do Eva Longoria if she was MY mom.
(Awkward silence, followed by 10 minutes of trying to explain to him why this is just WRONG)
Josh: OOOHHH ok, I see....I'd totally do Eva Longoria if she was my ADOPTIVE mom.
-On familial loopholes
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Home Ownership
Posted December 11th, 2007 by Paul Frank
A freshly married couple is recieving a house tour from a real estate agent.
Agent: "...cause you can never have too many bathrooms, am I right?"
[light laughter]
Agent: "I should be a comedian instead of a fucking homeseller."
Woman: "Excuse me?!"
Agent: "I said I can never remember the difference between Anne Frank and Helen fucking Keller."
Husband: "Me neither."
Agent: "Anyways, where'd I leave off before Whaty McCan'tHear interrupted me? Oh, yeah..However, you CAN have too many kitchens, and that's one thing I don't like about this house - it comes with three kitchens. Unless you're the restless offspring of a Rachel Ray and Emeril one-night stand, I'm guessin' you won't need three kitchens, although I've guessed wrong before...I guessed my wife wouldn't leave me for magazine photos of Ryan Seacrest. Anywho, I'm guessin' you two will love the new experience of home ownership."
Husband: "What? "Homo shit?!" I knew it! I knew this greasy-mustache-piece-of-shit would try to get us into homo shit!"
The husband and wife leave, yelling obscenities at the stunned agent.
Agent: "...cause you can never have too many bathrooms, am I right?"
[light laughter]
Agent: "I should be a comedian instead of a fucking homeseller."
Woman: "Excuse me?!"
Agent: "I said I can never remember the difference between Anne Frank and Helen fucking Keller."
Husband: "Me neither."
Agent: "Anyways, where'd I leave off before Whaty McCan'tHear interrupted me? Oh, yeah..However, you CAN have too many kitchens, and that's one thing I don't like about this house - it comes with three kitchens. Unless you're the restless offspring of a Rachel Ray and Emeril one-night stand, I'm guessin' you won't need three kitchens, although I've guessed wrong before...I guessed my wife wouldn't leave me for magazine photos of Ryan Seacrest. Anywho, I'm guessin' you two will love the new experience of home ownership."
Husband: "What? "Homo shit?!" I knew it! I knew this greasy-mustache-piece-of-shit would try to get us into homo shit!"
The husband and wife leave, yelling obscenities at the stunned agent.
Labels: no you don't understand, skit
2 Comments
"Unless you're the restless offspring of a Rachel Ray and Emeril one-night stand, I'm guessin' you won't need three kitchens, although I've guessed wrong before"
HAHhakldgh;adghahahkdlhg;akdg;kha
fuckin brilliant...keep it up
[light laughter]
"I should be a comedian instead of a fucking homeseller."
"Excuse me?"
Good show, Anne Frank.
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