Adrienne Sloane-Brooks personally knows someone named Adrienne Sloane-Brooks at University of Missouri - St. Louis who's better known as Slow-Anne because a friend in 10th grade confused the pronouncing of my last name, Sloane (Slow-own) with Slow-Anne. He also teased that I had a younger, more attractive and more intelligent younger sister also named Anne. When she was born, my parents realized that I am the slow Anne so they named me Slow-Anne so I'm not confused with my younger, more attractive sister. This is slightly irrelevant however because Sloane is a surname, an extension of the name Brooks. Unfortunately, ever since then most of my friends occasionally refer to me as Slow-Anne, Slowmo, Solo Slowmo, So Slow, etc.

Katlin personally knows someone named Tiffany at University of North Dakota who's better known as Twat Waffle because she plays rugby, and on rugby trips all rookies must drink. She drank more than half the veterans there and proceeded to listen to Dane Cook's "The Nothing Fight" and for the next few hours. All that came out of her mouth was "twat" this and "twat" that and all other girls were "fake firecrotch twats." Guess it didn't help that she was "adventurous" in her sexuality either.

Dan personally knows someone named Kaitlyn at University of Minnesota - Twin Cities who's better known as The Cum Receptacle because the chick has enough white salmon in her to fill the Grand Canyon... TWICE.

Polly Jameson personally knows someone named Jeanna at California State University - Channel Islands who's better known as Gina (as in va-GINA) because her friends can't spell for shit and think that every movie Judd Apatow makes is cinema magic. They continue to call her Gina phonetically regardless of the fact that her name doesn't even have an "i" in it. Any attempts to introduce her as otherwise are met with "Don't listen to her, her name is Gina."

Emily Garringer personally knows someone named Garrison at Iowa State University who's better known as Titty Fuck because one night at the bar, she was walking around with her huge tits and Darin (a co-worker) walked up to her and said, "I would titty fuck the shit out of those!" Just as he finished that sentence, Cody (gay co-worker), walked up and said, "Hell yeah, I would too!" with his boyfriend standing right behind him. Thus, she became "Titty Fuck"!

Trent personally knows someone named Erin Tatum at Other who's better known as Pledge Slayer Level 70 because in the course of the first half of fall semester, she successfully slayed the majority of the pledge class of '07. Only two were spared the horror their pledge brothers endured.

Tiffany personally knows someone named Erin at Xavier University - Cincinnati who's better known as It because "she" has been mistaken, even by an ex-boyfriend, for a guy. "She" dresses and acts like a guy, but forces men to date "her." "Her" true identity is truly a mystery to most.

Ramon Chacon personally knows someone named Lizzie at Santa Clara University who's better known as Cro-Mag because she has a large protruding forehead that makes her appear to be from a prehistoric era.

Edgardo Lopez personally knows someone named Sam at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania who's better known as The Snack That Talks Back because of a friend who hooked up with her early sophomore year. Later on, she told a unsuspecting crowd of this guy's friends about what happened earlier in the year. His friends were shocked and horrified about what happened. The name was created for the gossip queen as payback.

Munk personally knows someone named Candice at Utica College who's better known as Land Manatee because none of his friends like her and she's extremely overweight.

Simonne once met a person named Laura at Lawrence University who's better known as Pasty Laura because milk wished it were as white as this girl's skin. She also loved taking off her top to reveal sequined pastees flowers attached to her pasty white breasts that sagged like udders.

Simonne has a friend who knows a person named Jess at Lawrence University who's better known as The Pink Stink because her pink taco was not well maintained and she was always whoring around unsupervised and smelly.

kc has a friend who knows a person named Lisa at University of Colorado at Boulder who's better known as No-Wonder Bra because she takes her shirt off so much it's no wonder what kind of bra she wears all the time. To casual observers, she's just "a slut."

Chris Dade once met a person named Christine Johnson at University of Alabama who's better known as Lego Maniac because she stacks well on top of just about any shallow, plastic frat boy, and sometimes she'll fit more than one on her at a time. Collect the whole set!

Court has a friend who knows a person named Heather at Agnes Scott College who's better known as She-Dude because she looks like a dude, acts like a dude, and smells even more like a dude. That just ain't right.