Hey kids,

Have you ever wanted people to think that you're a huge, pretentious asshole?

List the books you've read in the last four years!

The Complete List of the All the Plays/Novels/Collections I've Read in the last four years of College (A Work In Progress…based on my shitty memory)
*=in my favorite books pile

Roald Dahl
James and the Giant Peach

Dr. Suess
(had a children's lit class…heh)
Hop on Pop
Cat in the Hat
Fox in Sox
One fish two fish red fish blue fish
Green Eggs and Ham
Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Laura Joffe
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Beverly Cleary
Ramona the Pest

Jack London
The Call of the Wild
White Fang

Gary Paulsen
Hatchet

Stephen King
IT
The Shining
The Tommyknockers
The Stand
The Long Walk

Mark Twain
The Bible according to Mark Twain

Unknown
Beowulf
(Grendel is such a fucking bitch)

Chaucer
The Canterbury Tales
(the dirty version)

Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlet Letter
The House of Seven Gables

Aldous Huxley
Brave New World

Robert Cormier
The Chocolate War

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Collected Essays Volume 1

Henry David Thoreau
Resistance to Civil Government
Walden

Walt Whitman
Leaves of Grass
Drum Taps

Rick Warren
The Purpose Driven Life

Harper Lee
To Kill a Mockingbird
(scout just so happens to be my least favorite character of all time…I don't know why…)

e e cummings
The Enormous Room
*is 5

W.H. Auden
The Ascent of F6

Kate Chopin
The Awakening

Upton Sinclair
*The Jungle

John Milton
Paradise Lost

T.S. Eliot
Prufrock and Other Observations
The Waste Land
The Hollow Men (it has the poem that ends “this is the way the world ends/ this is the way the world ends/ not in a bang/ but in a whisper”…pretty damned creepy)

Ezra Pound
Canzoni

Sylvia Plath
The Bell Jar

Dickens
*A Tale of Two Cities
The Adventures of Oliver Twist
A Christmas Carol
Great Expectations
David Copperfield

Joyce
*Dubliners
Ulysses
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Finnegans Wake

Faulkner
As I Lay Dying
Light in August
The Sound and The Fury
Absalom, Absalom!
These 13

Tom Perrotta
Joe College

Hemingway
The Sun Also Rises
The Old Man and the Sea
*A Farewell to Arms
For Whom the Bell Tolls
The Snows of Kilimanjaro

Sherwood Anderson
*Winesburg, Ohio

Vonnegut
*Slaughterhouse-Five
*Cat's Cradle
*Breakfast of Champions
*Jailbird
*Welcome to the Monkey House
(The man is just a ballin' writer)

Kerouac
On the Road
Visions of Cody
The Dharma Bums

Ralph Ellison
Invisible Man

David Henry Hwang
*M. Butterfly

Ian Frazier
*Dating Your Mom (fucking hilarity..heh)
*Coyote vs. Acme (again…he's a brilliant humorist)

Dave Barry
*Dave Barry's Guide to Guys

Maddox
The Alphabet of Manliness

Gloria Anzaldua
Borderlands

Christopher Marlowe
Edward II

Shakespeare
(sigh*…here we go)
MacBeth
Hamlet
Romeo and Juliet
The Tempest
Othello
King Lear
Henry V
As You Like It
Taming of the Shrew
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Much Ado About Nothing
Measure for Measure
The Two Gentleman of Verona
Shakespeare's Sonnets: A Collection
Richard II
Richard III

Burroughs
*Naked Lunch

Ginsberg
*Howl and Other Poems

Kant
The Critique of Pure Reason

Freud
Totem and Taboo

Lucretius
The Nature of Things

Toni Morrison
Jazz
Song of Solomon

Flannery O'Connor
A Good Man is Hard to Find

Virginia Woolf
Jacob's Room
Mrs. Dalloway
A Room of One's Own
To the Lighthouse

Michael Crichton
Jurassic Park

Tobias Wolff
The Night in Question
This Boy's Life
Old School

John Cheever
Falconer
The Stories of John Cheever

Richard Wright
Native Son

Robert Pirsig
*Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Hubert Selby
*Last Exit to Brooklyn

Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 451
Dandelion Wine
Dark Carnival
Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales
*Zen and the Art of Writing (a must for all you aspiring writers out there)

Ray Carver
Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?
Cathedral

Bukowski
The Flash of Lightning Behind the Mountain
Run with the Hunted
Fire Station
Open All Night
Shakespeare Never Did This
Ham on Rye
*Pulp

Salinger
9 Stories
Catcher in the Rye

Rimbaud
The Complete Works of Arthur Rimbaud (in Translation, with selected letters)

Jose Saramago
Blindness

Peter Boyles
The Sheltering Sky

David Lerner
*Why Rimbaud Went to Africa
The City of God
I want a New Gun
Melody Marloe

Booker T. Washington
Up from Slavery

George Orwell
1984
Animal Farm
Shooting an Elephant (I know it's a short story, but I own a copy of just the short story, so it counts…heh)

Joseph Heller
Catch-22

Brett Easton Ellis

American Psycho

Oscar Wilde
Picture of Dorian Gray

Barbara Kingsolver
The Poisonwood Bible

Steinbeck
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men
East of Eden
The Pearl

Jean Rhys
Wide Sargasso Sea (lame)

Herman Melville
Moby Dick

Steve Sherrill
*The Minotaur takes a Cigarette Break

Dan Brown (UGH…for a class, mind you)
Angels and Demons

Nathaniel West
*Miss Lonelyhearts
*The Day of the Locus
(both of these are fucking AWESOME…please read this if you get a chance)

Agatha Christie
Murder on the Orient Express

Chuck Palahniuk
Invisible Monsters
Survivor

Hunter S. Thompson
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Anthony Burgess
*A Clockwork Orange

Thorton Wilder
The Bridge Over San Luis Rey

Tim O'Brien
*The Things They Carried (hauntingly awesome)

Dumas
The Count of Monte Cristo

Arthur Miller
Death of a Salesman

James Baldwin
Giovanni's Room
Go Tell it On the Mountain

Bram Stoker
Dracula

Robert Luis Stevenson
Treasure Island
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Joseph Conrad
Heart of Darkness

Henry Miller
Tropic of Cancer (sucks, but I read it)

Edith Wharton
*Ethan Frome

F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Great Gatsby
This Side of Paradise

Samuel Beckett
Endgame

Amiri Baraka
The Dutchmen and The Slave

Tennessee Williams
The Glass Menagerie
A Streetcar Named Desire
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Alice Walker
The Color Purple

Chinua Achebe
Things Fall Apart

Norman Mailer
The Naked and the Dead

Dante
Inferno
Purgatorio
Paradiso

Plato
Republic
The Symposium

Jonathan Swift
A Modest Proposal
Gulliver's Travels

Tolstoy
*Anna Karenina
War and Peace

Truman Capote
In Cold Blood

William Golding
Lord of the Flies

Kafka
The Metamorphosis

Mary Shelley
Frankenstein

Turgenev
First Love

Marquis de Sade
Letters from Prison
The Crimes of Love

Kathryn Harrison
The Kiss

Zora Neal Hurston
Their Eyes Were Watching God

Emily Bronte
Wuthering Heights (for class)

Al Franken
Lies and Lying Liars Who Tell Them
Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations
(Currently reading: The Truth (with jokes))

Robert Cowley
What if?
What if? 2
(These are pretty sweet books…they talk about what might have happened had not a menial thing happened in the past…like…what if Rome wasn't invaded, etc.)

Robert Parker
Ceremony
The Judas Goat

Voltaire
Candide

Rousseau
The Social Contract

Lee Strobel
The Case for Christ
The Case for Faith

Laurence Lieberman
Dark Songs

Philip Cioffari
A History of Things Lost or Broken

T.C. Boyle
Riven Rock
*Drop City
Water Music

Anton Chekov
*The Undiscovered Chekhov, Fifty New Stories

Eric Schlosser
Fast Food Nation

Other Collections
The whole fucking Bible…including Gnostic texts (most atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do…heh)
Learn the Bible in 24 Hours
Best American Short Stories 2001
Best American Short Stories 2002
Best American Short Stories 2003
Best American Short Stories 2004
Best American Short Stories 2005
Best American Short Stories 2006
Crafting the Very Short Story
The Occasional Poem
Contemporary Fiction
Every New Yorker published in the last 3 years
Strunk and White's The Elements of Style
The Daily Show's book on America (whatever the real title is)
An Idiot's Guide to Slam Poetry

And finally…my favorite book of all time..

***The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry***

——–

Whew, that's it for now

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