Reasons Why I Want to be King, of England in the 16th Century

Wow, that was a bit delayed response yes?

Why the tucker hatred resurgence

Tucker should be hated at every opportunity. The guy is a class A dick.

Come talk to Tucker about it personally http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/forumdisplay.php?f=2
would be much funnier for all involved.

I agree, a little late to jump on the hate Tucker bandwagon. You know, you get together with some Feminazi's, Anthonee "Blueberry King" Dimeo, all the other losers, and have a party. Damn, that is some prestigious company you share. Keep writing articles that aren't funny.

Agreed, your writing is about as funny as AIDS, congratulations, you have really outdone yourself once again.

You know for someone who makes so many gay jokes you sure do have a extremely gay profile picture.

Not only was this childish, pointless, unprovoked, and utterly painful to read, but it actually took away my ability to laugh at anything amusing for a short period of time. Writers like DeGraaf, Rebello, and eMike actually have things like "talent" and "potential," and it shows in their writings. You are simply a low-rent, redneck, sister-banging Tucker Max wannabe who acts like an arrogant jerkoff to disguise the fact that he is a premature ejaculator. Say what you will about Tucker, but two things remain constant:
1. This was an unprovoked attack. A cheap shot, if you will. Had Tucker posted a blog entry about what a skid mark you are on the underwear of society, I would have been willing to let this abortion of prepubescent name-calling slide. But you are picking a fight--with someone much higher on the social totem pole than you.
2. The man is successful. Call him a pretentious asshole if you will, but the man is making six, almost seven, figures soley from drinking, fucking, and writing. I don't know if this guy is telling the truth or not, but I do know that he has his shit together, and it shows. Meanwhile, you are the least popular writer on a declining college humor site. You are the Aaron Brooks to Tucker's Tom Brady.

Now either step it up or step the fuck down. I'm sick of having to put up with drivel like this from you.

If you don't like it, you can piss the fuck off and not read it.

I'm allowed to say what I want.

Anyway, I didn't really realize that things would have to be provoked, I mean if I'm such an imposter...why do people read me?

Hell, even morons like you apparently read me.

I find that really...novel, you know?

Novel.

You know why I think this is novel? Because this is what you call a hobby you dumb bitches. I do this for fun, not for money or fame. I don't write for critics. I write for me and I don't personally give a fuck if people read me. I write and let them decide.I'm not in competition with Tucker because I'm not competing.
It's like comparing smart Nick Gaudios to retarded-ass Tucker Maxs.

I don't want to be a balding thirty-year old with HIV. Trust me. Don't compare us.

nice, i like how you do a pre-emptive strike on max. what has he done to you? please don't start an internet (dare i say blogger, man how i hate that word) war. it is boring for everyone who has to read that shit. you havent had a single funny post since :saving private philip."

Nick, I already got in a pissing match after Max insulted you. (to you commenters, this wasn't really unprovoked; Max called out a piece of Nick's on his message board a few months back). And I stand by two things 1. Tucker's a good writer. 2. He's a dick. These are facts. Now, you know I know you have talent. And you know I know you are an angry man. In my humble opinion, you should focus on the first one. Jealousy comes across here and jealousy is weakness. And forgive me if this makes no sense, I've been drinking and watching baseball all day. Anyway, keep up the good work Gaudio and don't be a hater. Oh yeah, and if you call your talent a hobby one more time, I will drive to WV and personally kick your ass.

Even DeGaff knows what the fuck is up... why can't you see it for yourself. If you have talent I have yet to see it yet and I mean that in all seriousness. So how about shut up and write rather than acting like a slapdick.

The thing about Tucker is, he’s not so much a writer as a little rich kid crying out to be noticed. His dad’s this little fucker who wanted almost nothing to do with him, and his mom was some whore. And he’s an only child. So he screams out for attention. And if he has to get it by lying or doing crazy stuff he will. What’s sad about this is that only geeks and losers find this to be original because they would never do the things he does. Anyway, Tucker is just a lonely, only child who has to prove to his Daddy that he’s worth something while showing the world that he really is cool. I mean think about it, the guy’s claim to fame is getting popular via the internet. He’s such an image conscious douche (Opie and Anthony) that he can’t even have anything bad written about him without eliminating it. He’s also a hypocrite who once claimed that he didn’t consider himself a blogger and then only a few months later claimed that he signed the biggest book advance ever for a blogger. And that’s just a small taste of the contents of his douche bag. As someone who watched DeGraaf fry his brain on acid and other illicit drugs and skip school all while keeping a 4.0, I can tell you that what Tucker’s done (drinking and fucking—big deal) is shit. And the thing is DeGraaf would never brag about that stuff because he learned early on that braggarts get their asses kicked. Tucker’s a good writer, to be sure, but he’s a total douche with no respect for his fellow man. And the people who find him to be worthy of respect (all you anonymous fucks) are even bigger losers. I guess what I’m saying is, take all the marketing and planning away and Tucker’s just another guy bragging about how awesome he is. He never has a moral and he rarely makes a point. Some call this postmodernism, but they are wrong. I wrote most of this on Max’s message board a few days ago, but his moderators blocked it because Tucker is insecure.

Oh and Nate, you’ve been on this site for two years and I just now found out. Maybe you should take a page from Tucker and actual market yourself a little. You lazy fuck.

AIDS isn't funny???

you're a fucking retard. why not try writing something that doesn't read like a cheerleader with downs writing about her cheating boyfriend.

Nate I don't see the difference between you and Max. You both proclaim yourself as assholes and you are both talented writers.

I enjoy Max's work but I think we are very different. I couldn't say how without insulting him... fuck it, I'll insult him.

Max feels better by putting other people down. I try to help people. Max is a self-important critic. I try to write new stuff that doesn't insult individuals. Max has no respect for people. I enjoy people like no one else I've met. Basically, Max is out to prove himself. I'm out for a good time.

Here's a blog dedicated to exposing Tucker Max as a douchebag:

http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/

Just read that blog and while most of it is absolute utter shit and the very idea of it is even stupider but I will give it one thing, there are some interesting things in there from some slightly more reliable sources. Also let it be known that Tucker Max fans are well aware he is an asshole, I have no desire to ever hang out with the guy but noone is pretending the asshole thing is a secret its on the back of his book "I am Tucker Max and I am an asshole..." So shut the fuck up on that point. Also I don't know why people keep thinking he was some rich pampered kid, he makes it very clear several times that was not the case.

Ummm, Hamlet was Danish. Twat. If you truly want to be a 16th Century English King, could I politely suggest Edward VI. You know the sickly one who ruled England for approximately 10 minutes whilst being ritually sodomised by his Uncle, the Duke of Somerset.

I'm a member of the TMMB and i thought it was hilarious. people should stop taking the internet so fucking seriously..

Dude, Tucker's Dad is a millionaire who'd rather buy him than talk to him. I think he was pretty pampered. But I guess if he says otherwise... Fucking douche.

"Also I don't know why people keep thinking he was some rich pampered kid, he makes it very clear several times that was not the case."

You're an idiot if you believe that. All of the evidence points to the fact that he's a spoiled rich kid. But you don't believe that because he says it isn't ture. And I suppose you also believe O.J. didn't murder his ex-wife. Even though all of the evidence shows O.J. did it, he must be innocent because he said he didn't. Moron.

For what its worth his parents divorced and he lived with his mom... could be truth to it, I don't personally care

I couldn't read most of this entry but I just had to point out that Hamlet isn't set in England. But surely you knew that.

Also, I read a couple of comments above this one. While I was growing up my father was a millionaire (trust me, this means something more in England than it does in the US) and I wasn't spoilt rotten. I was brought up with a *really* hard hand.

Bitch, my servant has let the ice cubes in my lemonade melt. Just kidding.

I love reading Tucker's work.
I also love reading work by Nick and work by Nathan.

I've been reading Tucker Max since I was 12 (I'm 17 now), and I've been reading everying on pointsincase.com for over two years.

Is this ok? Do I have to choose sides now?

I thought this wasn't very funny. It just wasn't well written.

As far as Tucker goes, it's his turn. To paraphrase him, if he or his sycophants can't take a joke, then fuck em'.