Politics Suck Core Balls

Hillary Clinton, apparently in an effort to prove that she is a complete and utter idiot, lied about having been under fire in Bosnia as First Lady, which is more than just a lie because it essentially insults everyone who’s ever put on a military uniform and been shot at. Hillary called this lie a “mistake” which is a little like saying that there’s a bit of skirmish in the Middle East: yes it’s the truth, but it kind of avoids the big picture.

Meanwhile, a perfectly good candidate named Ron Paul sits on the metaphorical sidelines because people were worried that he might be racist because of some unsubstantiated rumors. And you can’t vote for that. You can vote for someone who lies about military service, though. That’s how we roll in America.

Barack Obama lied about his pastor, stating that he never understood that the dude was an anti-semite and general hater of all things Caucasian. Most American voters are of the Caucasian persuasion so this could be a problem for Obama, that is if the American people weren’t so quick to forgive him for attending a racist church for twenty years.

Keep in mind that these are the same American people who could not bring themselves to acknowledge Ron Paul’s candidacy because some dude on his campaign more than fifteen years ago may have written a racist newsletter in his name.

So, it’s fine for Barack Obama to be christened by, to receive spiritual guidance from and to be great friends with a known racist and hater of all things Caucasian, but if there’s even a whiff that Ron Paul may have kind of known a guy who was racist, well we can’t have that.

It’s a question of character.

And the American people and their collectivist media have no character.

As we slide into this election year let us remember that Ron Paul was vindicated by the head of the ACLU who not only called the accusations of racism lies but also pointed out why the powers that be needed you to believe those lies (hint: they like your money and they love you under control).

And you are.

“When his fellow candidates denounced big government, Paul was there to remind them that President Bush and the G.O.P. Congress had shattered spending records and exploded the deficit. When they hailed freedom, Paul asked why they all supported the Patriot Act and other expansions of executive power. And when they called themselves conservatives, Paul asked what was so conservative about sending thousands of young Americans to try to transform the Middle East.”

The American people responded to all that truth by sticking their fingers in their asses, putting them under their collective noses, taking a big whiff and saying, “I don’t know, Ron Paul seems kind of kooky, the constitution is kind of a weird document, ah gee, do you really think we could have freedom in this country? That is so strange.”

So the career politicians are battling for the right to steal your hard earned money while the only worthwhile human being in the whole election sits idly by, his hands tied by the media, by American ignorance and by good old fashion smear campaigns.

If Paul’s racist, Obama’s worse (at least Paul never regularly attended an organization that espoused racist teachings).

If Paul's ideas are far from reality, Clinton’s worse (Paul never imagined his time in the military).

If Paul is an old fuddy-duddy, then what the hell is John McCain, who is older, fuddier and duddier?

These are your choices, America. You’ve done it again. You had a chance to free yourself from the Federal Reserve, the UN, the IMF and the IRS, to limit your reliance on foreign oil, to watch your dollar be worth something again and instead you get to choose between an old liar, a woman liar and a racist liar.

You could have had a real opportunity for change. You could have had a fighting chance to regain liberty and personal freedom. Instead you get to choose between the blue car and the red car, between three percent inflation and five percent inflation, between a socialized police state or a corporatist police state. Essentially, you get to pick the gun that shoots you, the lesser of evils, the worst of values and the best liar.

Pick away, America.

I’m still voting for Ron Paul.

King Day Observations

Elisha Nelson Manning is going to the Super Bowl. To play in it. He’s starting, even. And there’s not a damn thing Roger Goodell can do about it. Weird? I know it is. Unexpected? Most definitely. But well, Brett Favre threw a stupid interception in overtime against the Manning-led Giants. And some dude who’s not too great at his job kicked a field goal to win the game. And I shit my own pants from the shock. All in all, quite a game. Sadly though, not much of a pair of pants.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. In honor of the man, myth and legend, my office is open. Some days, I wish I worked in a bank.

Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. is going to the Super Bowl. For the fourth time in seven years. In case you missed it, the team on which he plays, the New England Patriots, is suffering from a severe lack of defeat. Which is to say that they are 18-0 on the season. Which means they haven’t lost yet this year. Am I moving to fast for you or what? On a related note, Girlfriend is from the Boston area. Thank God she hates sports.

A total of thirteen minutes of Ron Paul speaking has been collectively cut from televised debates for purpose of on-air and online reproduction. Which is to say that mainstream media does not want Paul heard. Oh and speaking of Paul, here is what NAACP President Nelson Linder had to say about His Coreness:

"I've read Ron Paul's whole philosophy, I also understand what he's saying from a political standpoint and why people are attacking him," said Linder.

"If you scare the folks that have the money, they're going to attack you and they're going to take it out of context," he added.

"What he's saying is really really threatening the powers that be and that's what they fear," concluded the NAACP President.

So the representative of the largest organization of American blacks in the country knows that Ron Paul isn’t racist and further understands why the powers that be would want you to think he is racist. Of course, fortunately for the powers that be, the American people are too fat, stupid, lazy and mind-numbingly gullible to believe anything other than what they are spoon fed by the media. Which leads me to my larger point: fuck politics. Thinking about who’s fucking me and how they do it is very overrated. I miss cartoons. I mean, I had no idea how fucked we truly are until a few months ago. I wish I could go back to sleep and worry about which color i-Pod to get. Fuck me.

And finally, because logic and fluidity are busy celebrating Martin Luther King Day, I leave you with the following, a statement made by an imaginary Martin Luther King Jr., from a show owned by a black man who was once called racist by Al Sharpton:

“Is this it? This is what I got all those ass-whoopings for?"

The Core will Survive

For those of you who don’t know, during the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s, a newsletter written by representatives of Ron Paul pandered to racists. Now, you can read these newsletters and think what you want. Paul denies writing them and I don’t blame him. Whether he wrote them or not, he is now and forever associated with racism and anti-Semitism. Which is a shame. Because he’s the only honest candidate running.

Will His Coreness be able to battle back from this bullshit and continue his message of personal liberty? Probably not. For now and forever, he will be considered a racist.

Now, George W. Bush, who let thousands of blacks die in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, he’s not a racist.

And Bill Clinton, who saw to it that tens of thousands of innocent Arabs were murdered in Eastern Europe, he’s not a racist.

And George H. W. Bush, who mercilessly bombed the Middle East, is not a racist.

And Ronald Reagan, who presided over the crack-cocaine epidemic and some of the most miserable economic times for the disenfranchised, most of whom were black, is not a racist.

But Ron Paul, a man who had said time and time again that rights are individual, and not to be collectively applied to any group of people, be it by skin color, religion, creed or locality, he is a racist.

To borrow from op-ed news:

“The offensive newsletter articles are indeed wildly, ludicrously, grotesquely out of synch with Paul's lifetime writing style, voting record, public statements, and personal conduct. They are, to those who are familiar with him and his record, very clearly not his own. Few if any in the mainstream media believe he actually wrote them.”

But mainstream media does believe in collectivist thinking. They’re fine getting rich as the mouthpiece for our corporate slave-owners. The media likes things the way they are. Paul does not. The media has the position to tell us what we are allowed to be. Paul does not.

And we are not allowed to be racist. So they have made Paul racist. That way, we will know not to vote for him.

If he bounces back from this, rest assured, they’ll call him a terrorist next.

Last election, the biggest issue was who served in Vietnam back in the ‘70s. Now with Paul, we’re talking about letters he did not write more than twenty years ago and how they affect us.

And I think they affect us less than GW’s old coke habit. Or Reagan’s chimp movies. Or Clinton’s infidelities.

But whatever. People are all idiots. Racism is an ugly word. And the masses will believe the media.

And the media will always fight to preserve the power of our current collectivist and corporatist policies.

And you dumbasses will keep swallowing the swill, believing the charlatans and voting for the puppets.

Enjoy the North American Union, assholes. Enjoy the stripping of your personal freedoms. Enjoy the National ID Cards and the tracking chips. Enjoy being sheep.

You’ve earned it.

Too Core for FOX

“I think you will find, when your death takes its toll, all the money you made will never buy back your soul.”
Aaaaaa—Bob Dylan

FOX News is hosting another Republican debate Saturday night. They didn’t invite His Coreness Ron Paul.

Ron Paul is too core for FOX. In fact, just about every major news media outlet hates Ron Paul, mainly because every major news media outlet is owned by those who profit from corruption in government and the illegal wars they wage.

It’s hard making this subject funny.

Ron Paul raised more than ten million dollars in the last three months and he did so without one cent coming from a major corporation. Corporate backing, media backing and GOP backing are the only three things the other candidates have on Ron Paul.

Why do you think that is?

Why would the media, his party and international corporations shun Ron Paul? Perhaps it’s ‘cause he wants to take power away from them and give it back to you. Of course, you don’t want that. No, you’d probably rather have an i-Pod. Dumbass.

Oh, and speaking of dumbasses, I was talking to this chick who told me that she wouldn’t vote for Ron Paul because he wants to eliminate the department of Education, which was created in 1980 and has presided over a steady decline in American education standards. If this chick wasn’t a chick, I’d have probably slapped her. People are so dumb that I’m coming to believe they all actually want to be led to their deaths, like sheep.

Oh, and speaking of sheep, there’s a reason Time Magazine gave Putin its Man of the Year Award. Time Magazine represents collectivist thinking and collectivists value order over freedom. Ron Paul is an individualist. He values freedom over pretty much all else. This is the very foundation of the American Dream, which is just that: a fucking dream.

I haven’t been writing about Ron Paul much lately because the topic gets me so frustrated. The man is honest, he defends personal liberties, he doesn’t waffle, he has strong character and he wants to look out for your freedom, a freedom that you, judging by his numbers, don’t care to have or feel you already have. And you’re wrong. So very, very wrong.

Anyway, I leave you with the same message that George W. Bush told the Iraqi people on the first day of the insurgency a few years back,

“Do not burn oil wells.”

That President of ours, he really cares about what’s important, you know?

Why Not Be Core?

According to some news stuff I half-read at work today, Ron Paul has raised more money than any of his Republican contemporaries. The reasons for this are simple: Americans are tired of being the world’s police (read: tyrants), tired of government-run businesses, tired of forced inflation, tired of war and tired of a political system that does not represent them. They want their country back. They want the constitution to be upheld by their elected leaders and they want someone they can trust running the whole show.

So why’s Paul, who leads all Republicans in funding, one of the last in the polls?

I don’t know. I don’t know how these polls work and I don’t know why Paul is so under-represented in the media. But I have a hunch:

I think it’s ‘cause no one thinks he can win.

That’s the whole reason. That’s why people don’t want to vote for Ron Paul, that’s why he’s not getting enough media attention and that’s why everyone is writing him off. He’s not a traditional (read: full of shit) candidate. He doesn’t have traditional (read: corporate) backing. And worse yet, he doesn’t believe in the ideals of traditional politicians (socialism).

Ron Paul is, for all intents and purposes, the perfect candidate. He’s the only one who believes in upholding the constitution, the only one who has been against the Iraq War from the beginning and he is the only one who believes that the government should not dictate monetary policy to the populous.

But when I tell people about him, when I tell them why I’m voting for him and why he’s super awesome, the response I get is always along the lines of, “But he can’t win.”

But I mean, why can’t he win? If he’s leading the Republicans in money raised, if he’s getting more and more popular with each passing week, if he’s got the strongest, most cost-efficient campaign, why can’t he win?

In the words of my friend, Mellow, “’Cause he’s a freak, dude.”

I tell you, each day it gets harder to like my country.

Vote for Ron Paul. Vote Core.

The Snippets Hate Collectivism

John: Dude, you know Ron Paul can’t win the presidency?
Me: Why not?
John: Because, you can’t just tell the people that the government’s not their dad. That would mean they have to find a new dad.
Me: Are you drunk?
John: That has nothing to do with anything except how drunk I am.
Me: I’m not gonna argue that.
John: Good boy.

John: You see, people are fucking stupid. I mean, think about how dumb the average person is.
Me: Okay?
John: And then realize that there are over 150 million Americans dumber than that.
Me: That’s a Carlin joke.
John: What, I have to limit myself to original material now?

John: So anyway… stupid people.
Me: What about them?
John: They don’t want the government to stop telling them what to do. I mean, think about public education.
Me: What about it?
John: Two hundred years ago, if you told people that they their federal government was in charge of their education, they’d have been seriously suspicious. I mean, why wouldn’t the government do its level best to hide information detrimental to their rule from those they educate? Why wouldn’t they just omit the evil truths about themselves?
Me: I don’t know. To preserve the sanctity of true education?
John: We’re talking about the government, here.

John: So, back in the day, the idea of the same people who tax and rule you also educating you was so stupid it was comical. Now, people act like it is a necessary role of government to educate us but they don’t even know what the Department of Education does.
Me: What do they do?
John: Fuck if I know. If I had to guess, I would say various administrative things.
Me: That’s from A Few Good Men.
John: Again, I ain’t all that original.

John: And it’s the same with health care and the economy. Everyone relies on the government to fuck them, so when you threaten to take that away and replace it with freedom, the people are all like, “But we need the government to keep making the economy worse and keep making it impossible for me to get the health care I need.” They don’t even realize that they’re saying it. It’s like the entire country has Stockholm Syndrome. They’re all like, “Please rule me. Please tell me what to do and think. Please, I’m a goddamn idiot.”
Me: And that’s why Ron Paul won’t win?
John: Yup. He doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.
Me: But what if we educate the people on…
John: You can’t undo eighty years of propaganda with a few months of education. Face it, man: you’ll never have a President that cares about your freedom because you live in a country with a bunch of misinformed, lazy assholes who don’t care about freedom. That’s how this works. The government has us over a barrel. They care; we don’t. So they win.
Me: That’s from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
John: I hate you.

Core in New Hampshire

Ron Paul finally showed up in one of those old-fashioned telephone polls. He is currently at 8% in some poll in New Hampshire, which is important because there is some kind of primary going on up there. As you can probably tell by these posts, I am pretty new to politics and don’t know what I’m talking about half the time. But this isn’t about me. This is about the corest politician in coredom (note: not a real place): Ron Paul.

Now, a lot of idiots have gotten on the internet and proposed that Ron Paul’s ideas are radical. But the thing is, Ron Paul doesn’t really have any ideas. He has the United States Constitution. It’s a good document, I’ve heard. I never read the whole thing, but E. Mike Tuckerson did once and he told me it was a good read. And if you can’t trust E. Mike Tuckerson, well, I don’t know if it’s even worth getting out of bed in the morning.

Anyway, let’s take a look at some of Ron Paul’s stances and see how they may help the country. And maybe along the way, we’ll dispel some myths.

Maybe.

The Economy
Ron Paul believes in returning the country to the Gold Standard. This scares everyone because people are goddamn idiots. I could honestly go on for months about how much better the Gold Standard would be than our current “government prints money whenever it wants to” system, but people are just too stupid to fucking get it. So let me say this: the government worked from 1914 to 1971 trying to get America off the Gold Standard. Every time they got closer to their dream of economic domination (or ruination, in my opinion), they told the American people that these changes were only temporary. They had to tell people these changes were temporary because it’s a horrible fucking idea to live in a fiat money society (if you don’t know what that means then look it up—I only have so many hours in the day here). Governments do not give back power ever (even that power that is supposed to be temporary—looking at you, Patriot Act). That’s why it’s up to the people to protect their own liberties. But the people are vapid idiots (because the American Government provided them with an education), so they just give up their personal power and hand the government the studded dildo and say, “Please fuck me.”

Also, and not for nothing, the Gold Standard would work REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH GOLD IS OUT THERE. (I hate it when people type in all caps but people who don’t get the aforementioned fact are just as bad.) Regardless of how much gold is available, the value of the money is always in proportion to the amount of available gold. This is not what your money is worth, but rather a way to declare what proportion of money you have compared to a set whole, not an ever-expanding pile of useless leaves. This way, we have a system where the value of our money is independent of government say-so and thus we can curb (if not eliminate) inflation. The American Government has actually fooled people into believing that a financial system without their tyranical control would be worse for America.

And herein lies the problem: people have to believe that the current system is correct because they voted for it, they don’t know anything else and they refuse to believe that the way it works is a total fucking sham. Well, I’m here to tell you it is. And I don’t care how educated you think you are: I am right and you are wrong.

Anyway, that’s my interpretation of Paul’s take on the economy. Let’s look at his foreign policy.

Foreign Policy
Leave Nato? Awesome. Fuck those fascists.

Free trade? Kick ass.

No legal immigration until wasteful government programs are eliminated? Uhh, seems kind of harsh. Immigrants have never bothered me but whatever. That’s Paul’s take and I could care less because I’m American.

Leave Iraq? Sign me the fuck up.

No wars without Congressional approval? What a novel fucking idea.

Yeah, it’s a pretty core foreign policy.

But what about Abortion?

Abortion
This pisses me off more than the Gold Standard thing. Yes, Ron Paul is against abortion. However, that does not matter because Ron Paul does not believe that abortion should be federally regulated. His stance on abortion is not political, but personal. Paul has a strong stance on freedom and abortion fits right into it. Even if he doesn’t believe in it. That’s pretty core, too.

Health Insurance
Paul’s economic plan calls for the elimination of seventy three percent (source: made the fuck up) of the current income taxes and an abolition of the IRS. And with that savings, you can finally afford health insurance and don’t have to worry about seeing some god awful HMO on some ill-advised Universal Health Care plan.

It really is that simple.

Now, some of you may not be behind Ron Paul’s ideas or ideals and that’s fine. Some people are socialists. Some people believe that the only way to create common good is to put total faith in a system that vows on taking care of the people. But for me, it’s a problem of motivation. I mean, why would the current government take our freedoms to make our lives better?

And anyway, as old man TJ once said, “The same government that can provide happiness can take it away.”

And that is especially true when the government in question gets to tell you what your money is worth.

Want a real US President? Click here and donate to the corest old dude on the planet: Ron Paul.

Core Conversation

America: We would like to end the war in Iraq.
Democrat: That is a great idea. We are working towards setting a timetable that should have us out of there by 2013.
America: Wait a minute. I don’t mean end the war in six years. I mean right now. It’s an unconstitutional war, our reasons for going in are bullshit, and it’s creating massive economical dilemmas for us. Let’s leave now.
Democrat: Things like this take time.
America: Why?
Republican: Because we have a duty to the brave fighting men of America to finish the job.
America: So we have a duty to continue risking the lives of those brave men and women whose lives are being risked for an unconstitutional reason?
Republican: Absolutely. We made our bed and now we have to lie in it.
America: Why?
Republican: Because in this world, we must take responsibility for our actions.
America: But we never took responsibility for arming Afghanistan or lying to the public about WMDs or lying to the public about accomplishing the mission or lying to the public about finding Osama Bin Laden or lying to the public about leaving after we ousted Hussein so why the sudden need for responsibility?
Democrat: You see America, the thing is, when something as large and as complex as the US government makes a decision to set up certain fiscal allegiances… well, you can’t just undo that overnight. It takes time to massage the system, to allow the businesses time to scale back their efforts slowly, so as to still see a profit. The government is very much at the mercy of the businesses it hires.
America: That makes no fucking sense. You hired them. You can fire them.
Democrat: Additionally, there are a lot of programs in place in Iraq and the Iraqi people have come to rely on us for help from these programs.
America: Name one.
Republican: We are arming and training their forces so that they can learn to protect their own freedom and we are helping them set up a democracy.
America: Why?
Republican: Because every person deserves to be free.
America: But if you force it on them, how is it freedom?
Democrat: You just don’t understand the importance of democracy.
America: Maybe, but I know bullshit when I step in it. That’s why I’m voting for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul: We marched right in; we can march right out.
America: That’s what we’re talking about, assholes. That’s what we’re talking about.

One Core Act

Ron Paul is apparently introducing some legislation called The American Freedom Agenda Act. After reading all about it, I have concluded that I am an idiot. I mean seriously, I don’t know what a lot of words mean. Which is kind of sad considering that writing is the only aspect of academia in which I ever earned accolades. Whatever. Let’s try to figure this out together.

The American Freedom Agenda Act is hoping to achieve the bold-lettered following:

Repeal the Military Commissions Act of 2006.

According to Wikipedia, the Military Commissions Act of 2006 has been used to detain enemy combatants in military prisons without access to a lawyer. Also, according to dictionary.com, “repeal” means to revoke or rescind, especially by an official or formal act. So basically, Paul thinks that no one should be allowed to sit in a jail indefinitely without legal representation. Seems reasonable.

Another goal of TAFAA (abbreviations save us all time) is to prohibit the admittance of evidence obtained under torture or coercion in both civilian courts and military tribunals.

If I had a nickel for every time I tried to admit evidence I learned from torture, I’d have exactly as much money as I have now. So I guess this seems reasonable, too.

TAFAA also aims to prohibit acquisition of intelligence that contravenes the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.

I literally spent nine long minutes trying to figure out what the hell all this means (and ten seconds trying to figure out how long it took me to try to figure out what all this means). And basically, all I learned is that “contravene” means to contradict, which means to go against. As such. Also, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, according to Wikipedia, allows that:

“The President may authorize, through the Attorney General, electronic surveillance without a court order for the period of one year provided it is only for foreign intelligence information; targeting foreign powers as defined by 50 U.S.C. §1801(a)(1),(2),(3) or their agents; and there is no substantial likelihood that the surveillance will acquire the contents of any communication to which a United States person is a party.”

So really, Paul’s suggestion here (from what my feeble brain can grasp) is that it be made illegal to wiretap without a warrant. Maybe? Was I close? Fuck if I know (they should really write these laws in English).

Also in the TAFAA plan: to grant standing to Congress "to file a declaratory judgment action in an appropriate Federal district court to challenge the constitutionality of a presidential signing statement that declares the President's intent to disregard provisions of a bill he has signed into law because he believes they are unconstitutional."

This one I actually dumbed down without looking up anything. The idea is that the president shouldn't be allowed to pass a law and then ignore its provisions. I guess that means he has to read all the laws he passes. Being President is not an easy job.

TAFAA also aims to prohibit all officers and agents of the United States from engaging in kidnapping, imprisonment, and torture abroad based solely on the president's judgment that the person is an enemy combatant.

So what you are proposing here is that I ain’t allowed to kill people just because George Bush told me to? I guess I could live in a world where George Bush doesn’t get to decide who lives and dies. But it’ll take some getting used to.

Also suggested in TAFAA: to protect journalists' rights to publish information acquired from the executive branch, with the only exception being when there is a "direct, immediate, and irreparable harm to the national security of the United States."

The idea here is, near as I can tell, to protect the First Amendment. That kooky Ron Paul and his crazy ideas.

And finally, TAFAA aims to prohibit the use of secret evidence to designate a foreign individual or organization as a terrorist or terrorist organization.

What the hell is secret evidence? If you use it, doesn’t it automatically just turn into regular evidence? I mean, someone has to know something about someone to designate them as a terrorist, don’t they? Jesus. Do I understand this right? Is this saying that we can just designate people as terrorists and not tell them why we are doing so? Will someone out there tell me that is not the case?

Please.

Okay, so from what I can grasp here, the entire idea behind TAFAA is to keep the President from being the most powerful dictator in the world. That seems reasonable.

So there's no way in hell it’ll become law. Bush'll veto that shit before it hits his desk.

The Media Fears Core

I hate America right now.

I never used to hate America. I mean, I always knew we were fat and obnoxious, but that’s because we want to be fat and obnoxious, and if anyone has a problem with that they can go to hell. We’re Americans and that’s how we think. And if anyone has a problem with that… shit, I guess I’m just repeating myself now.

But it wasn’t until Ron Paul started running for President that I realized exactly how rigged this game is.

I cannot stress this enough: our government has no interest in doing anything other than protecting their own interests. They don’t care about us, our education, our wealth, our individual power, our freedom or even our health. They could give two fucks if we live or die unless we’re rich enough to make them richer. And most of us are not.

Ron Paul, after the latest presidential debate, won an online poll on CNBC.COM, which is supposed to be an independent news source.

It’s not. In fact, I don’t think there’s such a thing anymore. I’m starting to believe all the conspiracy nuts: the media really is out to help create the smokescreen that we are free.

After Ron Paul won their online poll, this was written by Allen Wastler, Managing Douchebag at CNBC.

Basically, what Allen is saying is that this poll cannot be taken seriously because Ron Paul has too many supporters, and the other numbers, the ones only verifiable by the media, and the ones in which the media chooses the pollsters, don’t show Paul getting that much support. So the online numbers must be wrong.

What bullshit.

Basically, because Ron Paul won the poll, because he had the most supporters at the debate and because the poll was online, this must be rigged. No one trusts computers, which was why we let them tally our votes in the last presidential election.

What a bullshit country.

The lies are piling up and getting more and more obvious: government contracts to feed a war that makes some rich and does great harm to the rest, a media that totally ignores the constitution and instead focuses on whatever shiny baubles it can entertain the populace with, and a people who are content to sit on their asses and never think about what truly goes on in this country.

To borrow from Homer Simpson: “Secrets and Lies, Marge. Secrets and Lies.”

So I ask you, if we no longer have the number one economy, if we no longer have our freedom, if our media works for big government, if we’re the worst first world country in education, if we’re fat, obnoxious and lazy, and if we’re known worldwide as war mongering fucksticks, what exactly do we have to be proud of in this country?

Please let me know in the comment box, because I’m getting pretty fucking despondent.

Core Acrostic

Rally around now and see the natural
Order of greed and control. Hear the populous mantra:
Nothing ever changes.

Perhaps life would be better if we
All valued our freedom and
Understood that no government (not even our own)
Loves us enough to protect our personal powers.

Freedom is inherently risky.
Organized violence is calculated losses.
Real leaders lie to their enemies; not to their followers.

People are afraid of thinking. The manufactured
Reality is that
Everything will be just fine if we all just
Sit and believe the television and worship the distractions.
Insane is the name the media gives to
Dissidents who believe that
Everyone should be free and
No one should be
Tricked into tyranny in the name of terror.

Oh, but we would rather be lied to than have to think; we would rather
Fear than know.

The trains run on time.
Hate builds mountains of passions and it’s all good because
Everyone lies nowadays anyway.

United we are by a common
Stupidity. Just stare into the television.
All is well.

Support Our Troops: Vote Core

The largest percentage of Ron Paul supporters is not of the minority group, nor is it of the majority (read: white) group, nor is it of the 18-24 age demographic, nor is it of the number of fine people who click on the internet every day. No, the largest percentage of any group supporting Ron Paul is in the military.

More than fifty percent of our current active military personnel want Ron Paul to be president of the United States.

Now, I know that a lot of people like to call His Coreness Ron Paul a fringe candidate. These people like to think that a vote for Ron Paul is a vote thrown away, that his foolish love of the constitution and his belief in actual freedom is quaint and outdated. These people understand that the constitution is stupid. And furthermore, that people like George W. Bush and Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton and all the representatives in congress all know more and have more foresight than the founding fathers of this country.

Well, those brave young men and women shooting brown people for our freedom tend to disagree. In fact, the majority of them would like to see Ron Paul be president. Perhaps they understand that if Paul (a former military officer) were in charge, the US would only go to war against those who attacked us and maybe we wouldn’t waste valuable resources and actual human beings setting up a puppet government in the name of Osama Bin Laden, er oil, I mean WMDs, er wait a minute, to kill Saddam Hussein… no, I meant in the name of freedom. Yeah, that’s why we sent troops to Iraq, to free the Iraqi people. I remember that as the most recent explanation. So we’ll go with that one.

Anyway, I’m all for supporting our troops. As some of you may remember, my brother Jay fought in Afghanistan before being discharged from the Army a couple of years ago for not re-upping.

But just how do we support our troops? I mean, I guess we could send them porno mags, or give money to their spouses or maybe even make sure that their hot daughters have places to stay at night, but I don’t think that will really help anybody in the long run (though my penis vehemently disagrees—it’s stubborn like that). In the long run, I think the best thing we can do is provide our troops with the best leader for them.

Who incidentally is the best leader for us.

Who incidentally, is totally core.

So support our troops, fine people of the internet, by voting for the man who will make bringing them home his first order of business and using them only to protect our liberties his second order of business. With Paul there will be no third order of business for the Military.

I know it’s scary to think about voting for a man who will make sure that we are totally free because freedom means personal responsibility and all that (and it is much easier just to stick our heads in the sand and our asses in the air and let the current government lube up our collective anal cavities for another term), but I think it’d be even scarier to be over in Iraq in the middle of this shit pile of a political problem.

So, if you won’t vote for Paul because of freedom, and if you won’t vote for Paul because of common sense, and if you won’t vote for Paul because he is core to the motherhumping floor, then you should vote for him because our troops will.

And only a real piece of shit doesn’t support our troops.

(Pack up the luggage, kids. We’re going on a guilt trip.)

Core Enough for the Constitution

Did you know that Freedom of Speech as it was originally written in the constitution lasted only two years before libel laws were passed? Two years is not a long time. The reason for this is because the constitution kicks ass. In my humble, uneducated, half-drunk opinion, the constitution kicks ass because it was made with one idea in mind: preventing another revolution.

The constitution was an idyllic sales pitch meant to make everyone who could possibly afford to defend their lands happy (as landowners were the most affluent possible threat of the period). That was the idea behind the constitution: trick the people into staying together so they won’t have any reason to seek the help of outside forces like the founding father’s did.

And that’s what makes the constitution so great.

The idea of a free republic still stands today as one of the most underused awesome concepts of its time. That is because a free republic puts limitations on power. What are the limits of power imposed on our current federal government leaders?

Don’t worry, I have a hard time finding them too.

Now, I haven’t read the whole constitution (it’s long and it’s in that really old school, annoyingly complicated voice) but I tried to read it once. So that should count for something. Right?

I really need to start doing research.

And I don’t know a lot about politics and what not, but it seems to me that any candidate for this great country should dedicate themselves to preserving that constitution and therefore, our freedom.

After all, the constitution represents a dream that no power hungry leader wants. So it seems to me, that the man who dedicates himself to preserve the constitution is not power hungry, and therefore probably fit to lead.

Especially if he’s totally core.

Oh, and before you start slamming me for being a total idiot with an uninformed man-crush on freedom, please feel free to read something intelligent and worthwhile about His Coreness.

Core Logic

From the last republican presidential debate that I didn’t see because I drink too much:

Mike Huckabee: Whether or not we should have gone to Iraq is a discussion the historians can have, but we're there. We bought it because we broke it. We've got a responsibility to the honor of this country and to the honor of every man and woman who has served in Iraq and ever served in our military to not leave them with anything less than the honor that they deserve.

Ron Paul: When we make a mistake, it is the obligation of the people, through their representatives, to correct the mistake, not to continue the mistake.

Which one of these two statements makes the most sense to you? Myself, I’m going with His Coreness. Never have I heard of a mistake that needed to be propagated because it was made. It is that kind of logic that keeps people in bad marriages, unproductive careers and drug addictions.

Welp, I made a mistake and got addicted to crack. I guess I have a responsibility to the fine men and women dealing these drugs to me to stay addicted.

Welp, I made a mistake and started beating up black people. I guess I owe it to the fine people of the KKK to keep beating up black people for the rest of my life.

Welp, I made a mistake and started randomly shooting people in the streets of New York. I guess I owe it to the honor of every serial killer before me to keep this up until there’s no one left to kill.

Welp, I accidentally fell into this pool of sharks. I guess I owe it to the fine people here at the zoo to get my leg eaten off.

Stop me now or I’ll do this forever.

The idea that we should stay at war because we’re in a war is quite possibly the dumbest excuse for logic that I have ever seen. I may not be all that bright. And I’m too busy working and drinking and living and loving to pay close attention to anything for any reason, but I’m almost positive that the idea of continuing to do something stupid just because you started doing something stupid a while ago is, well, stupid.

Of course, what the hell do I know? I’m just another man walking around the planet with petroleum jelly on his balls.

Core Market

If any of you dear readers are considering a career in investment or finance, I have a piece of advice for you: stay glued to government policy and the federal reserve. They decide everything.

Recently, thanks to the subprime mortgage collapse which resulted from the government setting interest rates super low and lowering the required credit score for a loan (then raising the interest rates and raising the required credit score for a loan, making it impossible for those with bad credit to refinance), the federal reserve decided to print like a trillion bucks or something and give it to all the banks. They also lowered the rates from which banks borrow from each other in case they want to bail each other out. Pretty sweet deal if you’re a bank, but the owners of said loans will reap no benefits from this.

Had the government used all the money they printed to and given it away to every American family, we would all have like a million dollars or something (I’m bad at math) but they didn’t do that. That would be communism.

Of course, giving the same amount of money to businesses is also goddamn communism but no one notices that because the government has tricked us into believing that corporatism is capitalism. It’s not. It’s socialism. It’s government ownership of business, which is as anti-American as it gets and well, it’s also the most common American policy of the last four administrations.

Now, what does any of this have to do with His Coreness, Ron Paul?

Well, Paul believes that corporatism is tyranny and that under no circumstances should the government print money to bail out any corporate entity. He also doesn’t believe that any government should get to dictate to its people, what its money is worth, how much goods have to be sold for and at what rate we can borrow at. If Paul had his way, government oversight of business practices would be the beginning and the end of government involvement in business. The way it is now, it is impossible for even an informed analyst to tell where the government ends and the banks begin. Over the years, the two have become one in the same.

Now, some of you may be thinking that none of this subprime mumbo jumbo affects you. But the result of the government printing money is inflation. And it’s coming in a big way. Those of you who are business savvy might cite CPI stats and consumer confidence in the stock market (two important tools when evaluating the market, no doubt) as looking too good to make that assumption. But to you savvy sacks I type the following: watch the price of food.

Inflation of goods is a tax. Ron Paul wants to end inflation. Doing so would mean that the government would have to stop its controlling influence on the economy. Doing so would make us all richer (yes, even us poor people). And doing so would give control back to the people who foolishly think they’re free.

And that, ladies, gentlemen and total assholes, would be totally core.

Too Core for Bob

Hi, my name is Bob and I hate Ron Paul.

You see, Ron Paul is against federal income tax and I’m pretty sure that I need to be taxed as much as possible wherever I go. I hate the idea of having as much of my hard earned money as possible. Oh, and without income tax, how would we pay for those great government ideas like FEMA, The Department of Education and the IRS?

I mean, really guys. Where would we be without FEMA? They single-handedly saved us from Hurricane Katrina. Plus, look what the Department of Education has done for us. We’re the richest country in the world and our public education system is only slightly better than Uganda’s. I mean, imagine how much worse we would be without the Department of Education’s help. Plus, no IRS? That’s just crazy. Without the IRS, who’s gonna make sure that all those rich bigwigs keep paying their taxes. I mean, we all know that the IRS only goes after the rich.

Oh, and check out this craziness. That little Ron Paul kook, he actually wants to end US military involvement across the globe. I mean, imagine a world without the US policing everybody. There would be no leadership. The world has to know who’s in charge around here. It’s not like we could just all live in peace without forcing our nation’s interests on the rest of the world. America is the best, after all.

Oh, and you won’t believe this one. Ron Paul, that kooky little Elvin-looking crackpot, actually thinks that US involvement in the Middle East might have helped motivate terrorists to attack us. I mean, do you believe that? Like we ever did anything to them! Paul is a whack job.

Now, it’s true that he keeps getting more and more support, but Paul’s only getting that because the internet allows all the loonies across the country to organize quickly. No one besides a select few crazies really want a world where the government protects their freedoms and stays out of their affairs. Government is here for one reason and one reason only: to control every aspect of our daily lives on behalf of the elite so that we can all be protected from terrorism. Tyranny is way cooler than terrorism. Only an idiot would think otherwise.

And that’s why I hate Ron Paul.

Sincerely,
Bob DeMoron.

The AP Doesn't Know Core

Well, it took a few months, but the Associated Press has finally released an article about Captain Core. And, as is typical for our fair and balanced media, most of it is biased bullshit. Fortunately for y’all though, I reached into that bullshit, found a kernel of truth and washed it thoroughly before serving it to you.

So without further ado, I offer to you the recent AP article on Ron Paul, featuring regular interruptions by me. Because it’s my damn blog.

Ron Paul remains longshot for GOP Nom
By LIZ AUSTIN PETERSON, Associated Press Writer

AUSTIN, Texas - Ron Paul may be the political butterfly of the 2008 presidential campaign. An obscure congressman from Southeast Texas for most of his political career, Paul has metamorphosed into the favorite of those looking for a candidate outside the political mainstream.

Yeah, that’s it. There’s a whole bunch of people saying, “Hey, I want a candidate outside the mainstream, you know, like No Use for a Name used to be before they sold out.” It couldn’t have anything to do with his message of freedom. Oh, and while we’re here, what the hell is a political butterfly? I wish I’d paid more attention to politics when I was growing up.

Legions of die-hard fans formed across the country after Republican candidate debates and Internet blogs exposed his contrarian views.

I love the use of language in the above. I mean, the internet blogs didn’t convey his message of freedom. They exposed his contrarian views. Sounds like a crime, don’t it? Oh, and exactly to what are his views contrary? I hate this language sometimes.

Paul, 71, remains one of the longest of long shots for the GOP nomination, but that hasn't deterred supporters from making cold calls to voters in early contest states, plastering the Internet with plaudits, and loudly challenging Paul's White House rivals at campaign stops.

Oh my God, he’s a longshot and he’s still… gulp… campaigning. What balls. It’s like he’s running for President or something.

"I honestly believe that Congressman Ron Paul, as crazy as it might sound, I believe he is the father of the modern Republican Party," said Jason Stoddard, 31, an Austin, Texas, entrepreneur who has no formal ties to Paul's campaign but has made more than a thousand calls to Iowa voters urging their support.

Jason, why did you have to use the word, crazy? His Coreness Ron Paul has enough people calling him crazy, right now. Choose your words better, Jason. Goddamn insensitive motherfucker.

The enthusiasm of admirers like Stoddard has boosted Paul's national profile and helped his campaign raise $3 million over the past three months — a fraction of the double-digit millions chalked up by the top-tier candidates, but a respectable sum for an underdog.

This is the kind of reporting I like. He has raised a respectable sum for an underdog. For a favorite though, his sum is not worthy of respect. This is unbiased reporting at its best. I love this country.

That enthusiasm, however, hasn't translated into widespread support in presidential polls for Paul, who was a Libertarian Party candidate for president two decades ago and is best known as a champion of small government, low taxes and minimal foreign intervention.

Gotta make sure you slip libertarian in there. Just so all the republicans know they’re not supposed to vote for Paul.

National opinion polls of Republican primary voters generally show his support at about 2 percent. And while he's accumulated a cache of campaign dollars, Paul's not spending most of it. He has spent just $650,000 this year, the third-least of all 2008 presidential candidates, according to federal campaign finance reports.

Hey lady, it ain’t a sprint. It’s a marathon.

"Most of the oxygen is being taken up, especially on the Republican side, by those who look like they might have a prayer of winning in a Democratic year," said University of Texas political scientist Bruce Buchanan.

As a political idiot, I have nothing to say about that paragraph. So I’ll just take advantage of this opportunity to say that I also use oxygen. And don’t like to see most of it being taken up by anyone.

An obstetrician-gynecologist and former Air Force flight surgeon, Paul stands out from the other Republican candidates on several scores, including his long-held opposition to the Iraq war. As a result, he might benefit from President Bush's near-record unpopularity and the growing public discontent with the war, said Michael Tanner, a policy analyst at the libertarian Cato Institute in Washington.

Ummm… that seemed like a fair and logical assessment. Who let that paragraph slip in?

But potential supporters may find some of the 10-term congressman's other views more difficult to accept, including calls for a return to the gold standard and a radically smaller government with no Education Department, Energy Department or Internal Revenue Service.

Now, I agree with all the above paragraph’s aforementioned goals, but does anyone out there really have any idea how long that shit would take to get passed into law? Let’s just vote for His Coreness, let him end the war, lower taxes, decrease spending and eliminate the Patriot Act. That’s enough for one term. Let’s not get all up in the gold standard, no-education-department talk. I think it would make America better, but it would take like fifty years of Ron Paul to make it happen. One thing at a time, people.

Paul also is just as likely to turn off as many voters as he turns on with positions that straddle both liberal and conservative camps. He opposes the death penalty and votes against military appropriations. He also opposes abortion and gun control. He's known on Capitol Hill as "Dr. No."

You gotta love a guy who opposes the death penalty and gun control. There’s a man who believes in the power of the people right there.

Paul spokesman Jesse Benton acknowledged that Paul has formidable challenges to overcome before the first votes for the nomination are cast in about five months. The campaign just bought its first radio ads in Iowa and New Hampshire and has nearly tripled its staff to 25 in the past month.

And I saw a Ron Paul bumper sticker on an SUV the other day! This campaign is taking off.

"We realize the odds are still pretty long for Dr. Paul, but we think that Ron is a real legitimate player now that people are starting to pay attention," Benton said.

As comedian Stephen Colbert put it when Paul appeared in June on his mock right-wing talk show, "You are an enigma wrapped in a riddle nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery."

What. The. Fuck?

I mean, we’re not talking about some freaky being from another planet. We’re talking about a guy who believes in representing the people by enforcing the constitution. If that’s the kind of concept the American people find mysterious, well, I don’t think we’ve got a shot in hell of preserving personal liberties.

Oh, and The Colbert Report kicks ass.

But we all knew that.

One Core Speech

Well, not too much is new in the world of His Coreness this week. Ron Paul is gaining a little coverage from the media, earning some decent cheddar and preparing for another debate (August 5th). And well, since there’s really nothing to report or make fun of, I figured I’d just cut and paste a very well written speech by Ron Paul. This comes from his April 17, 2007 address to the House of Representatives and outlines exactly how and why this country should leave Iraq.

We Just Marched In (So We Can Just March Out)

All the reasons given to justify a preemptive strike against Iraq were wrong. Congress and the American people were misled.

Support for the war came from various special interests that had agitated for an invasion of Iraq since 1998. The Iraq Liberation Act, passed by Congress and signed into law by President Clinton, stated that getting rid of Saddam Hussein was official U.S. policy. This policy was carried out in 2003.

Congress failed miserably in meeting its crucial obligations as the branch of government charged with deciding whether to declare war. It wrongly and unconstitutionally transferred this power to the president, and the president did not hesitate to use it.

Although it is clear there was no cause for war, we just marched in. Our leaders deceived themselves and the public with assurances that the war was righteous and would be over quickly. Their justifications were false, and they failed to grasp even basic facts about the chaotic political and religious history of the region.

Congress bears the greater blame for this fiasco. It reneged on its responsibility to declare or not declare war. It transferred this decision-making power to the executive branch, and gave open sanction to anything the president did. In fact the founders diligently tried to prevent the executive from possessing this power, granting it to Congress alone in Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution.

Today just about everyone acknowledges the war has gone badly, and 70% of the American people want it to end. Our national defense is weakened, the financial costs continue to drain us, our allies have deserted us, and our enemies are multiplying – not to mention the tragic toll of death and injury suffered by American forces.

Iraq is a mess, and we urgently need a new direction- but our leaders offer only hand wringing and platitudes. They have no clear-cut ideas to end the suffering and war. Even the most ardent war hawks cannot begin to define victory in Iraq.

As an Air Force officer serving from 1963-1968, I heard the same agonizing pleas from the American people. These pleas were met with the same excuses about why we could not change a deeply flawed policy and rethink the war in Vietnam. That bloody conflict, also undeclared and unconstitutional, seems to have taught us little despite the horrific costs.

Once again, though everyone now accepts that the original justifications for invading Iraq were not legitimate, we are given excuses for not leaving. We flaunt our power by building permanent military bases and an enormous billion-dollar embassy, yet claim we have no plans to stay in Iraq permanently. Assurances that our presence in Iraq has nothing to do with oil are not believed in the Middle East.

The argument for staying- to prevent civil war and bring stability to the region- logically falls on deaf ears.

If the justifications for war were wrong;

If the war is going badly;

If we can’t afford the costs, both human and economic;

If civil war and chaos have resulted from our occupation;

If the reasons for staying are no more credible than the reasons for going;

THEN…..

Why the dilemma? The American people have spoken, and continue to speak out, against this war. So why not end it? How do we end it? Why not exactly the way we went in? We just marched in, and we can just march out.

More good things may come of it than anyone can imagine. Consider our relationship with Vietnam, now our friendly trading partner. Certainly we are doing better with her than when we tried to impose our will by force. It is time to march out of Iraq and march home.

--Ron Paul

His Coreness makes shit sound so simple, huh?

Core Following

The following list breaks down the percentages of monetary donations given by US soldiers to the Republican candidates:

52.53%: Ron Paul
35.4%: McCain
7.9%: Romney
5.2%: Giuliani
2.2%: Hunter
2.6%: Others

It’s nice to see His Coreness on the top of a list, huh?

Time for a little anecdote.

When Brother Jay was in the military, my mother once asked him what he thought of President Bush. Jay responded with, “I think he’s the commander in chief of the military and in charge of the free world.”

Essentially, Corporal DeGraaf was acknowledging the fact that, as a member of the United States Military, he had no business questioning his leader. There’s no I in team and all that. And really, I would expect nothing less from the brave men and women fighting to protect my freedom. They can’t afford to question their leaders and under few circumstances should they.

Nevertheless, US soldiers still get to vote in elections and they still get to donate to campaigns. And I think that’s awesome.

But what I really love is that our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan will gladly pay their hard-earned money to help support the one candidate who wants the war to end as soon as humanly possible.

I was talking with my friend Brick about why this would be and we chalked it up to either one or a combination of two reasons. Ron Paul and John McCain (the two who top this list) are the only Republican military veterans running for office and military personnel tend to respect other military personnel. And Ron Paul wants to withdraw from Iraq. And soldiers in Iraq probably think it sucks in Iraq.

Now, I ain’t no politician, and I ain’t no soldier, and I ain’t all that smart, but it seems to me that when the majority of your soldiers are offering a percentage of their income to the guy who wants to end the war you’re fighting in, well, it may be an unpopular war.

Like I said, I ain’t bright. But I can add two and two.

The Internet is Core Too

His Coreness Ron Paul has a huge internet following because the internet is unregulated. Freedom, for the most part, should be too. In a way, the internet is the last bastion of freedom. I mean, look at this site. We can write fuck and shit here. We can slap chunks of real-life conversation next to poetry next to a minute by minute description of something as unimportant as an exhibition baseball game. We can do and say whatever we want here.

And that’s why people who love the internet, people who don’t want to see it regulated and enjoy its freedoms, also love Ron Paul.

Because His Coreness knows that freedom is not having nothing left to lose, freedom is not an eagle soaring; freedom is having the inalienable right to be who you want to be how you want to be. Freedom is knowing that when you wake up in the morning, your life, your money and your community are just that: yours.

Freedom doesn’t belong to the Federal Reserve or to Congress. Freedom is not something that can be forced on a bunch of desert dwelling zealots. Freedom is belonging to yourself. And following that logic, freedom is knowing that it is up to you to save and to help you.

And that’s why Ron Paul has received over two million dollars in donations from the common human. The common human understands that we have not had freedom for a long time. I mean sure, we’ve been told we do, we’ve even been told that terrorists hate our freedom, but truthfully no one can hate freedom and furthermore, no one who actually has it will need to be told that they have it.

The government tells us what our money is worth, and in doing so, they tell us what we’re worth. They tell us what our goods will cost, and in doing so, they determine how much money we have to spend on our goods. The government has no respect for our freedoms because we have no respect for our freedoms.

We’re too busy worrying about who gets to have an abortion, or marry someone of the same sex, or drive at a certain rate of speed. We the people stopped caring about our inalienable rights because the government promised us that they’d take care of us.

As if we were a bunch of babies.

And that’s why the folks on the internet love Ron Paul, because the internet is where we had to run to express ourselves freely. The internet, like a brand new country isolated from the rest of the world, doesn’t have any real rules. It exists relatively unregulated and free of the domain of government interaction (outside of China, anyway). And, much like a brand new country, the internet won’t get to run around wreaking havoc for long. Eventually, the freedom here on the net will be stifled, too. Just like individual freedom has been taken, just like the free market economy was taken and just like the free press was purchased.

Eventually, we won’t have this medium in a truly free form.

And when it dies, believe me, the real terrorists will have won.

Hopefully, Ron Paul will get the opportunity to change all that.

Oh yeah, and because I’m contractually obligated to say it: Ron Paul is Core.

Core to the core.

Mainstream Media is not Core

Ron Paul will never win the election because he’ll never get any media coverage. He has vowed to end corporatism and corporatism makes big media work. I hate to break it to you, because you seem like a good guy, but you bet on the wrong dog in this race.
Aaaaaaaa—From an email I received.

I didn’t credit who wrote the above quote because he/she didn’t give me permission to use their name. Nevertheless, I feel this is an interesting point that needs to be addressed. Before I address said point, however, allow me to reiterate: I understand that Ron Paul will not get nominated for President; I just think he should be, and that’s why he’s my Friday topic.

Now, on to the point at hand.

I find it amazing that almost seventy percent of Americans have said that they are against the Iraq War and yet the mainstream media provides no coverage of the one candidate who never voted for the war in the first place. It seems like because Paul is both honest and anti-war, that he would be the kind of character the media could get behind. I mean, that kind of stance should garner media attention from the alleged “liberal” media. Not very liberal of them to keep paying all their attention to known warmongers if you ask me. Of course, no one asks me anything. I’m an internet writer.

Ron Paul is also against corporatism, which is why Halliburton got all those government contracts. I wouldn’t know about this if the liberal media hadn’t told me. Of course, reporting about corporatism never actually stops corporatism so I guess they could report about it every day and the contracts would keep rolling in. Nevertheless, you would think the media would report on the one candidate who wants to stop what they seemed so vehemently against years ago. Shows what I know about the media.

Ron Paul is also against corruption and is the only Congressman in the last one hundred years to actually return money from his budget to his bosses. The media, with all their Enron this and Scooter Libby that, would be, I would think, against corruption. Of course, I don’t get paid to think so what do I know?

In addition to being above corporatism, corruption and interventionist war, Ron Paul also wants to stop inflation and taxes. Just about everyone agrees with this, so naturally, the media doesn’t write about it. Why write about a candidate the majority of Americans agree with? It’s just anticlimactic. No real story there. What would the headline read? “Ron Paul wants you to be Worth More”? That just doesn’t have the kind of zing that “Seventy Dead in Iraq” does.

You know, now that I’ve written all this, I can see why mainstream media doesn’t want to cover Ron Paul. He’s against everything they stand for. Corporatism, taxation, war and corruption are the cornerstones of good reporting, the bread and butter of America and the foundation of the American dream. If this country actually had a leader that looked out for its citizens and respected the rest of the world’s populous, I mean what would the reporters do all day? Write about blowjobs? Not happening.

Oh well, at least I can take pride in the fact that I’ve never brought a kid into this cesspool we call a country.

At least, that I know of.

Oh and happy birthday to President Bush, or as my buddy Steve calls him, the cokehead who made good.

The Corest Old Man Ever

My buddy Brickmaster just called me up to talk a little about Ron Paul. Unfortunately, I had to cut him short because I am at work and my boss doesn’t pay me to sit around and bullshit with old friends about politics. Which is a shame of mediocre proportions if ever there was one.

And make no mistake, there was one.

Here are some of Brick’s quotes regarding Ron Paul.

“So really, the only way Paul has a chance to win this thing is if every weird, nose-ring sporting, heavy-drinking weirdo out there become republicans and vote in the primaries. I’m thinking I might just become a republican for this. I mean, democrats and republicans are all the same anyway. Plus, it would make me look like a more reputable citizen. I could be all like, hey officer, you leave me the hell alone. I’m a taxpayer and a republican.”

At that point, I had to remind Brick that he is not a taxpayer. He then reminded me that sales tax is indeed a tax. Touché, Brick. Touché.

Here’s Brick on why Ron Paul is not allowed at the Iowa debates, tomorrow.

“It’s like anything else in this country… you know? It’s like, ‘wait a minute, you guys like this? Too bad. We won’t let you have it.’”

And, a parting shot from Brick, as regards why anyone would vote for someone other than Ron Paul.

“A hundred years ago, ideas like excessive taxation, federal control of our education, fiat-money-based economies, forced police states and anti-privacy laws were seen by the public as insane and vulgar. Nowadays, we have MTV and Paris Hilton and we’ve all been taught that thinking is bad, and we should vote for the dude with the nicest hair. People are idiots. That’s why Paul won’t win.”

In Iowa tomorrow, a debate allegedly sponsored by Iowans for Tax Relief will go on without the only candidate who NEVER ONCE voted for any kind of tax hike. This, naturally, is because the current Corporate Government is a bunch of big, fat doody heads, and as such, there is no way they could handle Ron Paul’s unique brand of truth.

Ron Paul is just too core for the current regime.

And so to the current regime and to Iowans for Tax Relief, to borrow a phrase from Larry Ferlinghetti, I proudly raise my middle finger in the only proper salute.

Lying bitches.

Too Core for Iowa

“Show me a truly free person, and I’ll show you the man who runs the show.”
Aaaaaaa—Nick McGrath

Ron Paul was not invited to the debates in Iowa, which are hitting boring television channels everywhere on June 30. This is a shame. His Coreness is apparently too raw for Iowa. Too real.

The internet, God bless it, offers many different writers offering many different theories about why Paul wasn’t invited, and if you want to, you can go do an internet search and dive into the cesspool of bullshit that surrounds Paul’s absence. I’m not that kind of writer. I don’t claim to be in the know and research makes me want to punt babies, so I’ll just use this Friday’s Core Report to tell you a little bit about why democrats and republicans both hate Ron Paul.

But first, let’s talk about the United States Constitution and why it’s a beautiful thing.

The Constitution and the Bill of Rights were written because revolutionary Americans were straight-up thieves and no one trusted the founding fathers anymore than they trusted King George (or whoever was running the show in England at the time). And thus, the founding fathers had to figure out a way to craft a country that protected individual freedom. The idea was that if each person could be seen as having certain rights which could not be taken away under any circumstances, then they would fight to protect those rights and thus, protect the country as a whole. It made sense because, well, if you want to get behind an idea, you’re more likely to do it if the idea makes life better for you.

And thus, for the first time in the history of mankind, a country was filled with citizens who (at least as goes the white males) were free. The government wasn’t there to make us happy or to take our money. They were there to protect our freedom.

Now, that freedom didn’t last. Around 1913, when the Federal Reserve was created, the government got into the business of making sure that the rich controlled all the powerful. We stopped becoming America and became Corporate America. The government got to decide what our money was worth, and soon after they got to decided who got that money. I mean, it’s no coincidence that the government tells us how much we can borrow money for. This is a fact. The government controls the money supply, and as such, they control us.

Now, Ron Paul isn’t likely to get elected. But, what’s happening with Ole Core Hoss, is that he is getting the message of freedom out to the American people. He is presenting to the general populous the idea that the government has no business meddling in the affairs of others, other than to see that the affairs of others are protected.

It’s as simple as that. It’s the idea of freedom. And we need to get it back.

Now, my parents hail from Iowa. I have met many an Iowan in my life and I can tell you that they are educated people who, for the most part, understand what freedom is. They’re not looking for handouts from a corrupt government that stole from them (in the form of inflation, rate manipulation and unjust wars). They just want the freedom to earn an honest buck and protect their own interests.

Ron Paul’s message would have gone over like free money in Iowa. And more people would have been aware of the importance of freedom and small government’s role in that importance had Paul been allowed to speak there.

So to restate, it’s not Kooky Old Doctor Core who the democrats and republicans are afraid of.

It’s the message of freedom that scares them.

I mean, God forbid we all wake up and start to care about our rights. I mean, it’d be like we were a free country or something.

Core to the Core

"The sooner we come home the better."
Aaaaaa—Ron Paul (on the Iraq War), New Hampshire Primaries

Look, I know His Coreness Ron Paul has about a zero point seven chance of getting nominated for President of our Corporate Owned Country. I understand this. And I also know that The Nate Way is very much like an internet version of a bar, which means that though we can occasionally get deep here, we should probably stray from politics and religion. I understand all this, and yet I will not stop dedicating my Fridays to keeping y’all updated on Mr. Core’s most recent week, and he had a busy one, starting with a spot on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

If you hate politics (specifically those regarding freedom), quit reading here and check out Gaudio’s blog or something.

A few notes on Paul’s appearance there before we get to the actual issues and the actual words he actually said (which is actually the most important thing about any actual candidate but actually doesn’t matter all that much in the US because we actually hate ugly people over here or something).

Ron Paul is kind of kooky looking. I can’t say it any better than that. He is kind of fragile looking and he sounds kind of like a wealthy, well-educated, polite grandfather who dishes out advice to his small town family over ice cream sundaes after church. He doesn’t have that leadership machismo and that’s a bummer. Still, I think he looks about as tough as George Bush Senior, and George the First got a lil’ regime hold so who knows?

Anyway, on The Daily Show, Ron Paul made it clear that he was against interventionist policy, which in simple terms, means he doesn’t think we should police the world. He also stated that he thinks we should follow the constitution. All in all, it was a decent interview. His points were accepted by Jon, which basically means that Paul probably picked up some of the 18-30 demographic on Monday. Never hurts.

Then, two days after his appearance on The Daily Show, His Coreness participated in the repu