The Snippets are White as Snow

Barry: My people were enslaved by white Americans for four hundred years. That kind of thing will stick with a man.
Pedro: Hey man, same with mine for the most part. Columbus enslaved all my people.
Me: My people have no beef.
Barry: I don't know. The Irish had it pretty rough for a while there.
Me: Yeah, but I'm Dutch.
Pedro: Shit. You the motherfuckers that did most of the enslaving.
Me: No, we just did the shipping and transporting part. But we're really sorry about the whole thing.
Barry: Well, as long as you sorry.

Brian: You ever notice that girlfriends never seem to stick around when you're going through a difficult time?
Me: They're happiness thieves. They run when you run out of ways to make them happy.
Brian: That's a nice term. I like that. Happiness thieves. You come up with that on your own?
Me: Yup.
Brian: You've met some real bitches, huh?
Me: Yup.
Brian: You don't seem too bothered by that.
Me: Women are practical and self-involved. Men are dirty whores. It's a give-take thing.
Brian: Yeah, you give the bitch a ring and she takes the house.
Me: You okay?

Me: The thing that people forget is how racism had to be taught in colonial America. The slave-owners got tired of the black and white slaves running away together and so they made slavery laws more lenient for white people and they made it illegal for whites to marry blacks. They did this to keep the blacks on the plantations and ended up creating a racism that hadn't really been there before.
Barry: Interesting. So why's it still around?
Me: It's a useful tool for helping minorities maintain a poor mentality.
Barry: Huh?
Me: Racism gives people an excuse in lieu of success. Thus, it helps keep the rich, rich and the poor, poor. I mean, how many people you know who blame their failures on others?
Barry: Most of 'em.
Me: And racism is a built-in excuse, like when fat people tell you they have to eat like shit because their kids do. Only racism is even better because racism wasn't even created by the minority in question. Thus, he is absolved from all responsibility for his own actions and free to blame everything on whitey. And it also keeps the poor white people in place because their own racist tendencies allow them to blame their failures on minority acceptance in the workplace.
Barry: So all white people aren't racist?
Me: I didn't say that.

Brian: You ever been married?
Me: I got robbed at gunpoint once.
Brian: Yeah, well multiply that experience by 365 days and you'll have some idea how it feels.
Me: Why would I want that idea?

Barry: So you're saying that George Bush ain't racist?
Me: Oh no. He's racist as hell.
Barry: So it's a racist world with racist leaders but I'm not allowed to call a spade a spade, so to speak, and blame anything on racism.
Me: Oh no, you can do whatever you want. And if you choose to give up on creating success, you have a built-in excuse. I don't. The game is rigged in my favor so I'm not allowed to quit or complain.
Barry: Must be hard being white.
Me: Oh yeah, it's a real bitch.
Barry: That was sarcasm, Nate.
Me: My bad.

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