The Snippets Almost Crapped Themselves
Posted July 25th, 2007 by Nathan DeGraaf
Connor: Nate, right?
Me: Yeah. How'd you know my name?
Connor: Oh, I seen you in here. I pick up things like that. You know, like how you used to fuck my wife.
Me: Dude, I don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: It's cool man. You never said a word about it. She told me after we got back together.
Me: I don't know your wife, man. Don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: Calm down, dude. I ain't about to kick your ass.
Me: Why not?
Connor: You see, that was a stupid thing to say right there.
Me: I'm just saying, if you think I fucked your wife, then why bring it up if you ain't gonna kick my ass?
Connor: Honestly?
Me: Yeah, honestly.
Connor: We were separated. She's a whore. I love her to death. And I want to play you in pool.
Me: Did I walk into an episode of The Twilight Zone or something?
Connor: No, Nate. That show's been off the air for years.
Connor: Rack 'em up. I get the break.
Me: You don't want to lag for it?
Connor: Fuck dude, you already banged my wife. Now you want the break?
Me: I didn't fuck your?
Connor: Just rack 'em.
Connor: Nice game.
Me: Thanks.
Connor: Your turn to break.
Me: Thanks.
Connor: You're nervous as hell ain't you?
Me: How can you tell?
Connor: You keep looking at the door. It ain't gonna come to you, Nate.
Me: I keep thinking you want to kill me.
Connor: I do.
Me: I think I just shit myself.
Me: Four ball, corner.
Connor: You see, just 'cause I want to kill you, and just 'cause I hate you, doesn't mean I'm gonna kill you.
Me: What, you paid someone else to do it?
Connor: You need to develop a more positive outlook on life.
Me: Six ball.
Connor: Nice shot.
Me: Thanks. Three ball.
Connor: My wife told me you can go forever.
Me: Fuck.
Connor: Nice miss.
Me: Fuck you.
Connor: No thanks. You already got my wife.
Me: I gotta go.
Connor: You beat me three in a row on my table and you want to leave?
Me: I have to get home and do some writing.
Connor: You in college?
Me: If it gets me out of here, I am.
Connor: Not for nothing, but you weren't the only one to fuck her when we were separated.
Me: [silence].
Connor: But you were the only one of those guys to be beat me in eight ball.
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: I've met four of them now. They were all less nervous than you. But I sill beat them with the cue.
Me: Connor, seriously I don't know what the hell you're?
Connor: I just want you to know, from now on, when we see each other here, that I know.
Me: Dude, but I didn't?
Connor: She's gained thirty pounds since I took her back.
Me: No shit?
Connor: Don't ever get married, Nate.
Me: Good games, hoss.
Connor: Nice meeting you.
Me: Yeah. How'd you know my name?
Connor: Oh, I seen you in here. I pick up things like that. You know, like how you used to fuck my wife.
Me: Dude, I don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: It's cool man. You never said a word about it. She told me after we got back together.
Me: I don't know your wife, man. Don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: Calm down, dude. I ain't about to kick your ass.
Me: Why not?
Connor: You see, that was a stupid thing to say right there.
Me: I'm just saying, if you think I fucked your wife, then why bring it up if you ain't gonna kick my ass?
Connor: Honestly?
Me: Yeah, honestly.
Connor: We were separated. She's a whore. I love her to death. And I want to play you in pool.
Me: Did I walk into an episode of The Twilight Zone or something?
Connor: No, Nate. That show's been off the air for years.
Connor: Rack 'em up. I get the break.
Me: You don't want to lag for it?
Connor: Fuck dude, you already banged my wife. Now you want the break?
Me: I didn't fuck your?
Connor: Just rack 'em.
Connor: Nice game.
Me: Thanks.
Connor: Your turn to break.
Me: Thanks.
Connor: You're nervous as hell ain't you?
Me: How can you tell?
Connor: You keep looking at the door. It ain't gonna come to you, Nate.
Me: I keep thinking you want to kill me.
Connor: I do.
Me: I think I just shit myself.
Me: Four ball, corner.
Connor: You see, just 'cause I want to kill you, and just 'cause I hate you, doesn't mean I'm gonna kill you.
Me: What, you paid someone else to do it?
Connor: You need to develop a more positive outlook on life.
Me: Six ball.
Connor: Nice shot.
Me: Thanks. Three ball.
Connor: My wife told me you can go forever.
Me: Fuck.
Connor: Nice miss.
Me: Fuck you.
Connor: No thanks. You already got my wife.
Me: I gotta go.
Connor: You beat me three in a row on my table and you want to leave?
Me: I have to get home and do some writing.
Connor: You in college?
Me: If it gets me out of here, I am.
Connor: Not for nothing, but you weren't the only one to fuck her when we were separated.
Me: [silence].
Connor: But you were the only one of those guys to be beat me in eight ball.
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
Connor: I've met four of them now. They were all less nervous than you. But I sill beat them with the cue.
Me: Connor, seriously I don't know what the hell you're?
Connor: I just want you to know, from now on, when we see each other here, that I know.
Me: Dude, but I didn't?
Connor: She's gained thirty pounds since I took her back.
Me: No shit?
Connor: Don't ever get married, Nate.
Me: Good games, hoss.
Connor: Nice meeting you.
Labels: snippets







9 Comments
Superb.
Great job of building tension...
any longer in there and i'm pretty sure you're next snippet would've ended with a punch. male tension can only build so long before it manifests itself. good job getting out just in time.
fuckin A.
incredible...
it seems like this kinda shit really only happens to you...
cheers-
d
Yea, I simply can't play under pressure and I have the bruises to prove it.
dude i really think you need to move to a big city, where people have absolutley no idea who u are.
i mean i could literally fuck like 10 women separated from their husbands, pick them up all from the same bar, and id still never end up in the same situation as you... however hilarious it might be.
"Rack" is the right spelling, not "wrack." Wrack is wreckage, usually associated with ships.
Thanks, Faith.
I swear your life would make a really amusing, really messed up tv show. that I'd probably watch for the cast.
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