Stressing the Snippets
Posted July 19th, 2006 by Nathan DeGraaf
Me: I tell you, when I watch how quickly Ashley pours drinks and opens bottles, how she seems to have this natural rhythm with the whole thing, I can't help thinking about what she's like in bed.
Ashley: You know, Nate, there are some thoughts you can keep to yourself.
Me: And I guess that would be one of them?
Ashley: It amazes me that you finished college.
Me: So it turns out that Bunni plagiarized that column she guest-wrote.
Carla: Oh No. I had such high hopes for her. She was my little stripper with a heart of gold.
Me: And it hurts me just thinking that I'll never get to see you two make out.
Carla: Not as much as it hurts me.
Random Dude: Here you are.
Me: What the hell is this? Dianetics? Stress test? Hey motherfucker, do I look stressed to you?
Random Dude: Well, stress isn't always obvious in appearance?
Six: Whatever, man. You handed him the flyer. You must think he's high strung or something.
Random Dude: I have to give them to everyone that walks by. It's nothing personal.
Me: Well, it's about to get personal.
Six: Man, mellow out. You can't be killing nobody in the mall.
Me: You got lucky, Stress Test Boy.
Six: That was funny as hell. You see the look on that poor dude's face?
Me: The best part was when you said I shouldn't kill anyone. I swear he took a dump right there.
Six: That'll teach motherfuckers to be handing out flyers.
Me: Yeah, dude. We're here to help.
Ryan: Man, what you doing?
Me: I'm writing.
Ryan: Writing what?
Me: A book.
Ryan: Man, ain't nobody gonna read that.
Me: Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.
Bill: How come no one else on that site posts as often as you do?
Me: They probably prefer quality over quantity or something.
Bill: The fools.
Mark: I think they should give married couples a huge tax break.
Me: Why?
Mark: Well, I mean, why the hell else would I get married? Love?
Me: That's messed up right there, dude.
Ashley: You know, Nate, there are some thoughts you can keep to yourself.
Me: And I guess that would be one of them?
Ashley: It amazes me that you finished college.
Me: So it turns out that Bunni plagiarized that column she guest-wrote.
Carla: Oh No. I had such high hopes for her. She was my little stripper with a heart of gold.
Me: And it hurts me just thinking that I'll never get to see you two make out.
Carla: Not as much as it hurts me.
Random Dude: Here you are.
Me: What the hell is this? Dianetics? Stress test? Hey motherfucker, do I look stressed to you?
Random Dude: Well, stress isn't always obvious in appearance?
Six: Whatever, man. You handed him the flyer. You must think he's high strung or something.
Random Dude: I have to give them to everyone that walks by. It's nothing personal.
Me: Well, it's about to get personal.
Six: Man, mellow out. You can't be killing nobody in the mall.
Me: You got lucky, Stress Test Boy.
Six: That was funny as hell. You see the look on that poor dude's face?
Me: The best part was when you said I shouldn't kill anyone. I swear he took a dump right there.
Six: That'll teach motherfuckers to be handing out flyers.
Me: Yeah, dude. We're here to help.
Ryan: Man, what you doing?
Me: I'm writing.
Ryan: Writing what?
Me: A book.
Ryan: Man, ain't nobody gonna read that.
Me: Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.
Bill: How come no one else on that site posts as often as you do?
Me: They probably prefer quality over quantity or something.
Bill: The fools.
Mark: I think they should give married couples a huge tax break.
Me: Why?
Mark: Well, I mean, why the hell else would I get married? Love?
Me: That's messed up right there, dude.
Labels: snippets







10 Comments
Well, at least Bunni's article wasn't very good. That makes the fact that it was plagiarized easier to handle.
That sucks dude. How did you find out it was plagiarized? I didn't even find the column to be all that funny. I mean if you're going to plagiarize something, perhaps to make up for a lack of good writing skills, why not at least find something really good, since you unlock a whole new world of possibilites when searching for other people's work rather than having to come up with something yourself? Wow, that was approaching my record for longest run-on sentence right there. Go, me.
That's kind of like that kid who plagerized Guadio... why would you plagerize an article about sci-fi moments? She could have written about her funniest experience on stage (or off stage, if she's into making real money); being a stripper and a teacher has to be interesting enough to get one article out of it. I vote she writes another one.
Keep us posted on that book, I need something good to read
I feel the need to say something here...Plagarizing was definatly th wrong thing to do, it was childish, immature and of course not the most legal thing I've done in my life. I sincerly apologize to Nate, the guy I copied and all of you who read the article. There are a few reasons why I did what I did, and none of them are a valid excuse. I took the easy way out and again, I apologize.
wow...bunni was a plagarizer...who woulda thunk it?
Mike K, I'm sorry I don't mate your keen taste of humor. Obviously the correct spelling of words like "plagiarize" turn you off. Also, as self-toting as it might seem, Nate, Justin and I all basically write about the same shit.
And by the way, it's Gaudio, you stupid faggot.
Shame about Bunni, though.
Nick, Dude. I don't think anyone was even insulting you this time. Mellow.
heh...sorry. 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Italian and 1/5 of jack daniels= angry Nick
Though it obviously was a rip at me, I'll stop harassing your readers Natedawg.
I'll concurr here with Nick on this one, as Mike K. was apparently (though I can't state for fact) taking a subliminal shot at Nick by saying that plagiarizing Nick's columns was as lame as plagiarizing sci-fi moments, or as lame as centering their 15 minutes of fame around sci-fi moments at all...ok I'm drunk, so i'm done.
Actually, after further review, I do see the shot from Mike K here. I thought he was just referencing Steve Hill's plagarism, but he may have been comparing ripping off Gaudio to ripping off some crappy sci-fi bit. My bad.
Post new comment