The Snippets With the Shot

Me: Has there ever been a Hispanic in the NBA?
Tony: I mean, I’m sure there has.
Me: Tony, you’re like forty, right?
Tony: Something like that.
Me: And you’ve been watching basketball since..?
Tony: Since I started watching television.
Me: And in all that time, have you ever seen a Hispanic basketball player?
Tony: You know, Kobe’s wife is Mexican.
Me: What’s that got to do with anything?
Tony: Hey man, you’re the one who wanted the Latino-NBA connection. I’m just helping you reach.
Me: Thanks, man.

Chris: So, you been watching the World Cup?
Me: No.
Chris: Not at all?
Me: I caught twenty minutes of it. We tied.
Chris: Yeah.
Me: I hate ties. It’s like, I’d rather see a bad ending than no ending.
Chris: Yeah well, you’re an American.

Me: Has there ever been a Hispanic in the NBA?
Dave: Manu Ginobili’s Argentinean, I think.
Me: Are Argentineans Hispanic?
Dave: I don’t know.

Jenny: Do you believe that everyone gets what they deserve?
Me: God, I hope not.
Jenny: What are you saying?
Me: I’m saying that so many people deserve so much that I would just hate to see the love of material possessions fall in the way of the beauty of our character.
Jenny: Wow, that was deep.
Rod: And he knows he probably deserves to go to hell.
Me: You cock-blocking bitch.

Me: Has there ever been a Hispanic in the NBA?
Chris: I mean, I’m sure there has.
Me: How are you sure?
Chris: Okay, so I’m not sure. But I would think there would have to have been?
Me: Why?
Chris: Law of averages.
Me: I hate that law.

Brian: How’d it go with Goody Goody Girl?
Me: She was buying my bullshit, but then public opinion intervened.
Brian: You should really try taking your act to places where people don’t know you.
Me: Thanks, Brian. Thanks for caring.