Welcome to Florida—Shut Up

Too true. I love number four. And I never get tired of calling people fuck sticks. I think every year we should be able to use this list for justifiable homicide. We could update it from time to time to, y'know, stay fresh.

Oh man o man. I am so fuckin in for it. I am moving to Florida in August. When I mentioned this to some pals of mine in California, they were quick to add that I am a fuck stick for moving there in August. Um, hello? Yeah, I'm from Yuma, AZ, where in August the temps are normally around 120. The heat doesn't scare me, I own reptiles and bugs, so no biggy, but driving? I have impressive road road, which your entry leads me to believe will be a very bad thing.

Florida is shithole full of assholes,let's put it this way you take the worst people from south america , the worst from the US, the worst from Europe, the worst greedy cubans and you got yourself a shithole state.the people in miami are mean and uneducated.
the driving is terrible,it's all flat besides the beach it is ugly and so populated.
i moved from Hawaii and iis a real shock, New yorkers are way nicer than people down in florida.
I am saving money and surely will go back to paradise where people are decent and cursing each othe rfor no reasons.Be carefull not to become like'em it is highly contagious!
Aloha!

I'm from NY my self, and I can agree with ^^^ on this one.

Everyone down here, along with the locals , are inconsiderate idiots, who even with the slight mention of you not being from Florida, turn into an even bigger ass hole.

Come up north and say how much it snows, and we'll laugh, and tell you how much we love it. Not be a fucking prick about it, and tell me to stfu.

So do me a favor and STFU your self, and learn to live with people from other places of the world then just Florida.

I feel sorry for your dog.

I'm from CT and I've been in NY often. I have to agree that people in Orlando are the rudest fucking turds I never wanted to meet. When I was IT, I used to travel constantly from Maine on down and as far out as Oklahoma. Only Oklahomans (in the shittier part of OK City) barely come close to the rank stupidity and rudeness too common in Orlando. Maybe its because the average Joe / Jane has to work 3 Jobs at MickeyDs or Wendy's to get by. Or maybe its because they fuck each other in the ass legally here - I dunno...but Orlando is fake as fuck and not worth the swamp it floats on.

Have a nice day.

Please don't move here to Florida. New Yorkers have been the worst experience we've ever had. At first, it seemed great because of the monetary influx that occurred with y'all moving here. But then we started experiencing the side effects.

First of all, y'all are responsible for always building a new home, or worse-building a whole neighborhood. Y'all come down here and pass up fifteen PRE-EXISTING houses for sale and build a new one. Worse, y'all get greedy and then rape a giant piece of beautiful grazing land and build a cheap looking neighborhood.

Secondly, you bring your bratty children who all want to be gangsters (with their stupid NY Yankee hats turned sideways) and you ruin our schools. I know plenty of teachers who unanimously state that not all New Yorkers/New Englanders are bad, but almost all of the bad children are from New York/New England.

Also, you have driven the cost of living up so far that any economical gains made by your transplantation are negated.

On top of that, people from your part of the country are the most rude, loud, boisterous, and complaining people I have ever met. I always that the "classic New Yorker" was a stereotype on TV, but sadly it isn't. If I hear the phrase, "up north, we......" again, I will puke!

New Yorkers/New Englanders are quite possibly the worst drivers on earth.

New Yorkers/New Englanders voted in a bunch of overtaxing, feel-goodin', bleeding-heart liberals that taxed y'all out of house and home; now it seems that y'all didn't learn your lesson up there, now y'all vote fellow New Yorkers of the same ilk here, thus ruining our government here too.

I can say that I now know how the American Indians felt when we settled the land. Please, I beg you, please stay there. You're welcome to visit, but please go back home. I hope that my fellow southerners start making y'all feel very, very unwelcomed here. The sentiment is already here, it's time for action on the part of that conviction.

i love the-- "its the fucking subtropics"

---hates out-of-staters damn yankee carpetbaggers!

You may think Northerners are stupid but who has the worst schooling systems in America Floriduuuhhh does and get out of all of your civil war attitudes we did kick you asses get over it lol!!

I was just listening the 911 tape relaesed today for Anna N. Smith ... and it got me thinking... Are all people from Florida complete ass holes? I mean I can hardly believe the tone nor the stupid ask and repeat jive on such an important life and death phone call. Man, that is scary if that is the norm down there. What an idoit that woman sounds like, incredible. It seems like evey time I hear anything about Florida people it just confirms that there must be a whole lot of suck ass people down there .. making it one place I never want to visit! I live in California so I understand the 'kick back' attitude but honestly.. you Florida folks seem more like 'dick wacks' to me.

I am originally from SoCal,but was forced to live in FL for 14 years(my dad played pro-ball down there...long story) and i hated almost every bit of it,the people are all out trying to be something their not and they are so stuck-up and arrogant i swear to God that FL should be cut off from the US and all of its inhabitants slaughtered mercilessly fuck them sons of bitches yall can burn in hell for all i care,im back in SoCal now and im not the only person who hates FL so any1 willing to argue with me ive met more people that hate FL than like it.beaches are EXTREMELY overrated and as for the weather?Bullshit!If it isnt humid as hell its raining every other day,the only thing good about FL is the theme parks and even those arent worth a vacation.If you want a real vacation,go to NY,GA,or CA.West Coast is the Best Coast(but i have no problem with ATL or NYC).

Anyone who loves Orlando is sick in the head..

www.orlandofloridasucks.com
Orlando Florida

Florida is a flat, featureless appendage that should have been circumcised rather than inhabited.
There is a high tattoo-to-tooth ratio, and more mullets per square mile than in any other swamp.
Let's be real here...the only reason anybody moves there is because it's cheap. Well folks, you get what you pay for, so welcome to Florida...hope you like bugs, rednecks, tourists, refugees, retirees, shitty food, and oh yeah...hurricanes.

Moved from Austin to SoFlo and left 2 years later. I'm back in TX, every thing that has been posted here is true.

Florida sucks because of shitty laws and dumb arrogant people like you. Not to mention all the religious redneck nut jobs.

Wow, way to take a joke.

I'm from FL, and I live in NYC, and I feel like this is a futile argument.

The thing is, a lot of New Yorkers are stuck up, snotty bitches.
And guess what?
So are a lot of Floridians.

And a lot of New Yorkers aren't. And, are you ready for this?
A lot of Floridians aren't.

If you hate the state so much, stick to your bums and subways and dirty gutters, and we'll stick to our immigrants and salt water and mosquito clouds.

I only lasted 5 months in Florida. Was in a hospital 3 times sick of some lethal kind of mold that the apt. mgmt. refused to clean up, saw useless government officials who give no damn fuque on third world conditions in my apartment and a completely criminal lying management of apartments down here, outright scammers and fraudsters. What reminded me of Florida again was a canceled report by Florida local BBB which I submitted about a company that was a fraud. It seems that Floridans not only are assholes, but protect other assholes from decent people from out of state.

I lived in Florida because of work, for two years. Why? Because I bust scammers for a living, and Florida is without a doubt the scam capital of the country. It's a shithole. Every part of it. Alabama with a beach. The people there are a blend of local rednecks and right-wing Cuban refugees' kids. The food sucks and at the end of every Summer, for about a month, the entire state smells like raw sewage. The only halfway decent place in Florida is Miami, if you think culture means coke whores.

florida should never have been settled and should be unmarked territory on the map. third world countries have it going on more than florida, which seems like more fourth (or fifth ??) world-how the hell it gets away with being part of the usa is a mind boggling mystery-hopefully a nice set of hurricanes will take it off the map soon. the brainless assholes here don't deserve to live. obviously none of our presidents give a shit.

I am a Florida Cracker through and through. And I left my home state two years ago because of all the asshat Yankee invaders. But you know what? Florida has been getting invaded by Yankee Asshats since long before I was born.
Adios, La Florida, mi`amore.

Florida is a piece of crap state filled with outlaws who thump their damned booming stereos, are in love with NASCRAP, illegally modify everything including exhausts and tinted windows so dark a cop could be shot through them and not even know it! Has corrupt cops, corrupt politicians, high crime and murder rate and should never have been settled and left for the wildlife like the snakes and alligators and and will most likely be all that's left after the waters rise and sink this miserable god forsaken place once and for all!

Lowest common element of people you can imagine,High murder and crime rate,high cost of living and low wages,boring dull topography,disgusting hot humid weather but the biggest negative about florida,in particular the area between miami and palm beach county is the people.All about me,me,me instead of we,we,we.It shows itself in a major way on the highways and surface streets which are EXTREMELY dangerous.

Lets all face the facts that Florida sucks.

Florida is the worst. I came down here from New york when i was 10. And its only good for visiting NOT LIVING. the poeple are mean and would talk shit all day long even if they dont know you. the reason why we new yorkers move down here is cause WE HAVE NO CHIOCE!!! our parents made us move down here. Florida has horrible weather.REALLY HUMID.rains almost everyday.feels like 110 degrees almost everyday..beaches are overrated.Theme parks get boring after a while. New york is amazing.dont hate cause florida sucks.the only reason why i hate NYC cuase the cost of living is so high.and much love to the west coast.CALIFORNIA!!

I come from London and used to live in Port Moresby so I know all about living in shit holes. But Orlando, where I have lived since 2001, takes the prize for being the biggest turd dump in America.

true cellpool, culture of scumbagians, degenerate garbage.

To the miserable trashbags and assholes and idiots and junkies and criminals:

Come to Florida! it is a wonderful paradise of sunshine and beaches and palm trees and flowers!

Friendly AND intelligent drivers, not under the influence of anything, EVER. Not every single day, all day, non-stop. Many classy non-drivers and pedestrians to greet you at almost every storefront and even some ATM’s! Good people to make lifelong friends with, or maybe for a couple days. They will never rip you off, or stab you in the back, or use you.

The best theme parks, completely free of child molesters and violent robbers. Beautiful hotels, where nobody is ever assaulted or raped, no fist-sized roaches, fleas, spiders or anything like that.

You’ve never seen a huge amount of fugitives on any TV shows coming to hide in Florida, since the laws are followed and upheld so strictly and fairly. No illegal immigrants, not even hundreds of thousands, ever come to commit all sorts of crimes and then just easily leave, incompetently untraceable or otherwise.

Quick summary of Floridump:

In most/many places, {ALL the cities/states I have lived in} there are more good people than there are the 'undesireable' kind.

In shithole Flawda, the trash, scumbags, degenerates, assholes, junkies, losers, criminals, assholes, rude garbage of all colors, the worst of each actually, outweight the few good people.

Need proof? Keep your eyes open when you visit or first move to Floriduh. If you don't notice the cesspool culture, you are either dumb, on seriously strong meds, or you just fit right in to the petri dish.

Don't forget the way below average, no standards, shitty service from everyone everywhere, in ANY type of business.......

sucks.

ya caint leave out all dem there lovely meth-heads, some wit purdy mullets

I rented a car and also borrowed a friends car while visiting FL, and thanks to my experience and the input from residents of red light cameras, I will never return, nor will any of my family. No one I care about that I can influence, for that matter.

It is either slam on your brakes and worst case scenario get rear-ended from the constant tail-gating assholes, and even if not hit by another car, potential damage to the car from needless, sudden, emergency-like stopping. Which happens ALOT.

Or you can go through the quick-change lights safely {and while driving normally} and get a huge ticket, in some cases only made aware of when already back home, in a normal state.

I was stationed on the USS John F Kennedy. Aside from the shitty drivers, asshole Latinos, snooty retirees, big ass bugs, hurricanes every month of the summer, persistent beggars, horrible humidity, greedy beach bums, mechanical scam artists, overrated topless bars where dancers stay dressed & overcharge for drinks, fire ants, punk street racers in their parent's hoopties, crappy fireworks, liberal scum, attention grabbing sluts, highly restricted dialog on the radio, & complete inconsideration for the common man I'd say it's a wonderful place to live.

Stupid fucking setup in this place, EVERYTHING about it. The homes, 6 feet from each other. Dumb utility shit sticking out in the front yards. Shit-water sprinklers, smelling like total diarrhea.

Moronic roadways, (I guess it goes with the moron drivers) traffic lights with no road sensors to change if their is no opposing traffic, every 1/4 mile, with reds you sit at for 10 minutes, then get a typical slow-brain/no-brain/shit-for-brains, drugged-up Florasshole in front of you, so you get it twice in a row, if you're lucky, maybe 3 red lights. Or you can opt for getting a nice corrupt-asshole-pocket-filling red light ticket. All while being tail-gated everywhere, by meth-heads that must be in a hurry shitting their pants, or maybe they are all just really important people, executives and stuff, going important places, doing important things. Doubt it, since their cars look like piles of shit, and so do they. More than likely, they are just going to a liquor store, or a crack neigborhood. Miserable fucking low-life cesspool. Wow. Sunshine and palm trees, huh.

Quality of life is sooooooo much more than 3 decent months (cumulative, not even consistent) worth of weather. This place is only for the wealthy retired, or just wealthy (and then ony in exclusive areas).

how about the 30-45 minute morning commute - and it is only a 10 mile drive! in normal places it takes about 8 to 12 minutes, in 30 minutes you would drive close to 30 miles. true shithole, yes it is.

don't forget another reason for the idiotic commute is these moron losers are always crashing, and often bad deadly crashes - fucking pure idiots, idiots and assholes-that pretty much sums up 97% of this disgusting swamp cesspool population. rush hour here is an 18 hour a day process due to these dumb fucks. and thats only because they take a break to get high, or pass out, or steal, or find someone to fuck, even if underage.

how about a good job? holding signs in front of businesses for 8 hours a day or more... great fun, room for promotion to sign spinner. especially enjoyable in the 'warm' weather (7 or more disgusting sweltering months of the year). guess it's enough money to pay the bills, or maybe more likely just buy some more cheap beer and meth.

all this toilet state cares about is fooling people into thinking it is a great place, the shitty tourism commercials and pamphlets and brochures and all. fake ass grass and imported palm trees. fake smiles in the ads. why not show the actual gross ugly as hell junkies from here? it is a fucking filthy, crime ridden, smelly, very hot, boring, ugly, classless, dumb/uneducated, lowlife pile of dog shit place.

keep crashing and dying inbreds. just try to keep it among the idiots and assholes, leave the few good innocent people out of it. and stop killing cops you fucking degenerates. it's not a sport, just like driving like an asshole isn't, even though the cops also drive like assholes. and neither is making babies with family members.

DAMN! there are ALOT of ugly bitches in this place, ugly ass people in general actually. What is with the ripped, stained shirts, tie-dye on top of that, filthy pants, disgusting mouths, some with one bottle opener tooth, ratty rats nest hair, pigbitches with boogers on their mustache, melted cheese titties with with mini afros on the nipples. The redneck sick bastards with food, or shit crumbs, or dried yeast or menstruation in their beards. *sigh* I can go on and on, seriously, but it is even making my stomache twist and turn. I'm not even exaggerating, these fuckers are NASTY like nowhere else I've been.

cost of living low? bullshit - if you are a normal clean person, you will waste alot on soap, laundry detergent, damprid and other products for the clothes ruining mold and mildew, bug spray, water softener, water filters, air fresheners for the constantly shit smelling sprinklers and air in general, hand sanitizer for all the piggish scumbags you will encounter.

not to mention most stuff costs the same, maybe a couple pennies less, sometimes more actually.

As has been mentioned before, most things can be dealt with, but the disgusting, trashy, rude, low-class (no-class actually) slow brain/no brain culture and assholes and miserable idiots is impossible to deal with and not be stressed, become a druggy/alcoholic like them. I don't care where they are from, native, other parts of U.S., other countries... they were asshole wherever they were, or became assholes here, or got worse here.

Or, believe it or not, contrary to what some moron, inbred, I.Q. of 25, uneducated, raised by shit parents, became shit parents themselves.... natives can be miserable asshole losers, too.

I read something in another blog, seems fitting for what is considered 'normal' (and common) in Flori-pile-o-shit: I don't doubt and am not suprised that in the Spitshine state/junkie central flea markets meth pipes and other disgusting classless trashy shit is being sold...

How 'bout all the awesome kindergarten art class 'tattoo shops' in flea markets, all over the toilet state for that matter....

There is one G R E A T thing about Flori-shithole (not really)....... Money orders at Amscot are free. *shrugs* Gotta dig for stuff people, lower your standards dammit! Or abandon all standards AND hope, period.

Fuck this pile of trash place loaded with gross, pig, miserable scumbag assholes and idiots, I'll gladly pay for my money orders and even pay higher tax to live in a decent, NORMAL place. Not 'perfect', morons, just NORMAL.

Uneducated assholes, not much worse than a rude idiot, and that place is tops in that aspect! Complete retards, in whatever definition of 'retard' you want to use.

You spend your time on the road avoiding accidents from those scumbags, all high and drunk, AND texting... you know, important conversations, important people. If you're walking, which you shouldn't, since that would be dumb, and a more likely way to become a statistic of that shitty state, but if you DO decide to walk, don't do like the dumbasses there do, pretending their rotten, infected, diseased, drug filled bodies can take getting plowed by a 2 ton car, just continuing to stroll in the road nonchalantly.

2 simple words to summarize, as well as all the descriptives in this sentence, to cover the vast majority of the population in that sinking turd, that backward, inbred, unintelligent, unclean, abnormal, scam filled, corrupt, lawless, uncouth, obnoxious, inconsiderate, violent, smelly, greedy, shameless, disrepectful, loaded with walking, talking pieces of shit/bacteria:

~~~~~~~A S S H O L E S and I D I O T S~~~~~~~
Almost all of them are one or the other, many are both.... and there you have it, the putrid state abbreviated as FL. Even the name makes me sick.

Two more words to describe this horrible, terrible place:

APATHETIC and just plain ol' PATHETIC

really.......

Illegal immigrants (illegal anything and everything, actually), crime, useless cops, greedy/corrupt government, worst drivers I've EVER seen. 'Misery loves company' should be the state motto.

Like other posts above said, the worst of every race is in that rotten peninsula. So if you are trash (bonus if racist trash), you will find plenty of your kind there, whatever that kind is. Best avoid toilet areas where you are the kind they don't want.

It's like the state only makes money from tourists, and when that dries up, they fine you whenever and wherever possible, and install red light cameras every quarter mile, since there's a traffic light every3 blocks.

Picture being on the highway and having to stomp on your brakes every 200 feet for a redlight that is set to only turn red when a car is approaching. Then you sit at it for 5 minutes, before being tailgated and cut off and having nascar inbred idiots around you flooring the gas, only to reach the next red, a couple blocks ahead, just when you reach the speed limit driving normally, and not inbred style.

In normal places I've lived, trashy people stand out. If you are clean and polite and have class in Florida, YOU stand out. If you DON'T do drugs, and DON'T have 3rd grade, ballpoint pen looking tattoos all over your disgusting body, you stand out. If you like to keep your car clean, somewhat dent-free, without garbage bags covering where a window should be, you stand out.

NO, assholes and idiots, it is NOT the same everywhere. No normal person says it is utopia elsewhere, but there are places where you can have normal expectations (some crime, and some asshole people, not a majority of scumbags and common/OK/accepted/expected/NORMAL and raised to be a degenerate), mostly law abiding citizens, who raise kids with respect. And who think it's good to try to do a good job at work and earn your paycheck (which you get to on time or early, without causing or seeing a bunch of avoidable low I.Q. crashes and 'accidents'), and feel a little pride in what you do, and care for how you maintain your home and self appearance and hygiene.

Good, decent people unsure of whether to make the jump, trust me (or ruin your life and find out for yourself), sunshine, (disgusting/endless) hot weather, beaches, and palmtrees are not all it takes to have a good life, or any semblance of 'quality of life'.

notice how all the pigs, (n)/(w)+iggers and losers dress the same? fat disgusting slobs or super bony meth-head looking scum wearing gigantic XXXXXXX t-shirt down to the back of their knees, ugly, stupid, massively baggy, almost to the ankle shorts, hanging off their stank unbathed asses, dumbass bandana or baseball cap, tilted faggishly as if never taught how to put on a hat, even aretard could put on a hat straight sometimes. then they have the brim bent in a moronic fashion, or completely flattened, looking like dorks. they walk like they have a full load of liquid shit and beans running down their thighs, with chunks of constipation.

so in summary, the way these low-life idiots walk and drive is repulsive.

Race with the Devil.

That movie is what that shitty state is like. Watch and learn. Anything/Everything that can go wrong, does and will.

Man fuck Floirda and the hicks in it , you dumb inbreed shit kickers!!!! Love to fucking bash your skulls in!!

I'm surprised folks aren't giving credit where credit is due. The Cubans have fucked up all of North Cuba, I mean South Florida. Those cockroaches have been defacating on that state for decades. They should give the state to Castro. The Cubans are the lowliest, stupidest, most ignorant, stuck up, lazy as hell, ugly as fuck, smelly ass, racist mothereffers that need to all go back to the Banana Republic.

I stopped guessing and wondering what the heck was wrong with that terrible place. I just accepted that it is super miserable and shitty, and got the hell out of the hell hole.

Man, what a huge amount of assholes. Really dumb, stupid, ignorant, uneducated, classless, moronic, shallow, idiotic, piggish, rediculous, rude, ugly, dirty, shady, uncouth, inbred, gross, unbathed, shitty, scumbag population.

97% assholes and/or idiots and/or scumbags I’d say. They all fit in to at least one of that kind.

Proud to be trash, and trashy.

Welcome to Wyoming! Yes, we know that there's virtually no people here. Yes, moose are real creatures, as are jackalopes, and sometimes we have penguins. Yes, we all talk like we're from texas, yet none of us really are. Yes, we ride horses to school. No, there's no indoor plumbing. Yes, it's always this cold shutthefuckup.

Florida sounds nice. Warm, fruity, not snowing...I think i'm wistful.

I found Orland/Celebration to be the worst! Pretentious assholes who apparently are shaped by the Stepford Wives. Very stale, generic, and pompous at the same time. Hated it. Being from New Orleans I'm used to culture, style, art, and identity. I found not 1% of that in Florida anywhere. St. Petersburg was just ok, Tampa was meh! I found the food to be laughable in Florida as well. Grant it, I'm from New Orleans where the food is always amazing but I've travelled to many cities throughout the world and nothing comes close to Florida's "cuisine." It's bad! Florida sucks big time. The only places worth going to in the USA offer something either unique or diverse or inspiring (New York, San Fran, New Orleans). Florida is good just to go to the beach then leave. Oh, bring your own food

so true!