Because of the alcohol friends will shove down your throat, you'll be lucky to remember anything: Happy Freaking Birthday
Once you turn the legal age to drink, you don't have to wear extra underwear and Right Guard when showing the bouncer your fake ID: Celebrating 21 Years: A Retrospective
When you find out how much money you spent on alcohol at the bars in the past week, you'll either faint or cry because you'll have to eat peanut butter sandwiches for the next month: Be There
or Beware
Even though it's your birthday, your friends are still more excited than you: Being Libra
You won't buy those four shots of tequila for yourself, your friends will: How
to Drink for Free
There's always something to celebrate, even if it's about being the old geezer that you are: The Real World DOES Suck
You don't become a man (or a woman) on your 13th birthday, you do that when you can go out on your birthday and then tell the toilet afterward that you can't be puke buddies anymore: I'm Bringing Slavery Back
Something bad always happens on that day, whether it's breaking up with someone, getting evicted or finding out that it's not that cool to be drunk at 11 a.m.: Why Evictions Always Happen
on Somebody's Birthday
You will always make a birthday speech; it might happen at the bar, in a taxi cab or right next to your pile of puke in somebody's backyard: Birthday Boy Speech
