PIC E-zine | Who Wants to Roleplay?

PIC E-zine | Who Wants to Roleplay?

March 23, 2006


In this issue:

1. The PIC VIP

2. Latest Headlines

3. "Ten Sex Things You're Not Likely to Come Across" by Vin Doctor

4. "Top 5 Reasons Why I'm a Pirate, and You Can be Too!" by Dan McDonald (YARRR)

The PIC VIP

Okay, okay. You be the Pirate, I’ll be the Ninja trying Assassinate you from behind. What do you mean, “NO?” C’mon play along, it’s
fun. Why can’t you be a COOL GIRLFRIEND? Well then what would you like to be? America? How do you role play as America? AND I’m Iraq? You’re going to invade me and
steal my oil? Oh you’re so fucking cute, you know that? Goddammit, Kaylee, when did we become so dull.

I know we’re just YOUNG TEEN LOVERS, but I feel like we should be able to address issues like this. It’s just sex. Oh I’m the immature one?
Sorry if I want to have an intriguing sex life. Hmm, here’s an idea, maybe we should role play going out to dinner, and the mall. I’ll be the boyfriend who blows all his money on
you while you reciprocate, how? Yes, that’s right. By condescending his natural urge to have healthy sexual relations.

Oh, that’s funny coming from you. Well let me tell you what I think. First of all, MY IDEAL WOMAN doesn’t REPEATEDLY DATE, AND MATE with
other guys. Secondly, would it kill you to go down on me every once in a while? I’m not asking you to be THE WORLDWIDE LEADER IN SUCK. I just don’t want your demeaning
pervert look every time I ask for a blow job. Oh HAHA! No I don’ t think you would suck it more if you could find it. Speaking of finding, the other day I found the perfect role play for
you. I’ll be Pinocchio, and you can be the Whale and swallow me. It works because you’re a fatass, and I lie when I say you’re not a fatass. Oh you’re fit? Ha, try
FIT FOR A WORKOUT. Don’ t say it runs in the family, either, because recently I’ve been role playing as the bastard who’ s fucking your younger, hotter, skinnier
sister, Diane.

She still likes to just be herself, though.

Latest Headlines

Date, Mate, Hate...Repeat by
Simonne Cullen
We're all just hamsters in a cage, desperately running the same vicious cycle of love. Hate it all you want, the world will keep on turning.

Fit for a Workout by David
Nelson
The motivation for exercise and eating right is often hard to find. So are sexy women who don't run away from you. Coincidence? Hardly.

Blorthnar's Advice to Young Teen Lovers by Ben Hanson
Who the hell is Blorthnar? Only an Inta-galactic playa with worlds more experience than you. His STD’ s alone prove there’ s life on other
planets.

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Suck by Justin Rebello
ESPN used to be the champion of balanced sports coverage. Ahh, there's nothing sadder than watching an old competitor let himself go.

My Ideal Woman by Nathan
DeGraaf
Women are like cars: complicated and fun to ride. Choose your make and model wisely, or you might end up an emotional wreck.

How to Be a Cool Girlfriend by
Ali Wisch
There are only two types of girlfriends: cool ones and dumped ones. Guess which one gets to Dutch Oven the guy and laugh about it...

Ten Sex Things You're Not Likely to Come Across
By Vin
Doctor


1. A rich man who offers you a million dollars for one night alone with your dick, or cheeks.

2. A forest ranger who sets up these holes in the softest, least-complaining trees.

3, This pounding sensation that can only be one thing.

4. Many guns firing many times at many different things.

5. A fairy godmother who loves it fast in a phone booth.

6. "Sounds like you've got a hog caught in your throat. Just bite down. That'll scare it off."

7. A pond where naked women always emerge, dripping dry.

8. A carriage ride that ends in a deserted parking lot.

9. You Two Rattle and Hum.

10. A gigantic G-spot roaring down the street.

Top 5 Reasons Why I'm a Pirate, and You Can be Too!
By Dan
McDonald (YARRR)



1. I collect booty, such as gold doubloons, and shiny knives worth many, many dollars.

2. I have a boat with a sail, and a skull and cross bones on it, so eat it, sucker! Might I add, I am best friends with Cpt. Morgan, first mate of the USS McDonald, the first ever Irish
Pirate ship.

3. I harvest other boats for their booty! YARRRRRRR if ye have gold doubloons, ya best be hoistin' them over right now, or I’ll be cuttin’ ya with my hook hand, and givin’ ya
splinters with my wooden stump of a leg.

4. I have an eye patch and a cool pirate hat. What pirate is a pirate without an eye patch? If you're a pirate, and you don’ t have an eye patch, then you can go fuck yourself with your
“ depth perception,” which is for pussies by the way. Real men don’ t need depth perception.

5. Lastly, I’ m a pirate because I drink a lot of rum. If you see me drunk, you better believe its from rum, since I'm a pirate, and pirates drink rum. Pirates don’ t drink bitch
shit like “pomtinis” and “bitchtinis” because they drink rum, like real men.

6. Rum is for pirates, who can’ t count, since we be only havin’ one eye.

7. YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

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The PIC E-zine is edited by Mike Faerber. Interested in writing an article for the e-zine? Email him at mikey@pointsincase.com.