Smart kids are gifted, smart adopted kids are re-gifted.
Tell a man a joke and he laughs for a second. Teach a man a joke and someone else laughs for a second, later.
I recently joined a dating site. Turns out women find me utterly resistible.
For every barrel of oil sold, a mid-level sales associate enters a tally mark into a Google spreadsheet.
Hey Google, search “affordable therapists near me,” and please read the results to the tune of “Baby Shark.”
Later I realized the pins shouldn’t have had an extended death sequence where they struggle on the ground pleading for their life.
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.
Two friends book a cabin with two beds on Airbnb, but upon arriving they realize the second bed is actually a yoga mat with a blanket and pillow.
Smart kids are gifted, smart adopted kids are re-gifted.
Tell a man a joke and he laughs for a second. Teach a man a joke and someone else laughs for a second, later.
I recently joined a dating site. Turns out women find me utterly resistible.
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.
I do take issue with whoever claimed the domain liveauctionfor115belleview.net and started an all-out bidding war for my family’s home.
It’s not all caviar and champagne; just some of it--like 40 percent. SHUT UP! Don’t speak. I have a lot to say.
I do take issue with whoever claimed the domain liveauctionfor115belleview.net and started an all-out bidding war for my family’s home.
If you have an insatiable lust for owing thousands of dollars to a university, then don't let other people's warnings slow you down.