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My Greatest "That's What She Said" Moment
Before you read any further, please read the blog that inspired this.
Kid is fucking funny and he’s only 17. When I was 17, I still laughed at the word ‘poopy’. Six years later, nothing’s changed.
Anyway, after reading Barry’s blog, I felt compelled to share my story.
Normally, “that’s what she said” is the ultimate “you had to be there” moment. It’s not nearly as funny if you haven’t experienced the full context, especially because the joke is so overdone. However, I think this instance was different. Allow me to paint the picture if I may.
It was spring semester of my senior year and I was taking statistics as a free elective. (Before you cry out, “DORK!” let me assure you…..you’re right.) In my defense, I majored in electrical engineering; I was rapidly approaching the job market with a less than stellar GPA; and it was management statistics. I don’t even know why they let me in the class. I liken it to Michelangelo taking a course on crayons.
Because statistics for mouthbreathers – as it should’ve been called – was required for management majors, the class was full: a good 60 strong. The audience was in place.
The professor was an Asian man with a very innocent nature. Needless to say, he was mostly oblivious to American sexual innuendo. It was only a matter of time before he served up a meatball of naivete for me to deposit in the bleachers of smart ass quips. The setup was inevitable.
On the first day of class, the professor had everyone break into groups of four to facilitate collaboration on the in-class activities we’d be completing throughout the semester. In order to help him put names to faces, he wanted to take a picture of each group at the end of class. The stage had been set.
The group that was to go before mine consisted of four – how should I say this? – fat kids. They waddled up to the front of the class and lined up to have their picture taken. The professor took aim with his camera, then motioned for them to squeeze together. Again, he tried to line up the shot and again, he motioned for them to squeeze. He raised the camera to his face a third time, peered into the viewfinder, and proclaimed…
“I can’t fit all of you in.”
And I was there to knock it out of the ballpark.
9 Comments
Hahah... amazing.
Good call on Barry's blog. I was relieved to see that I wasn't the only person who can't resist inundating writing with incessant jokes (this comment notwithstanding). Hell, he's inspired me to return to uphold practice.
Ah, there's nothing quite like not getting to fit it all in.
I had to pass on my golden moment last year and its still haunting me.
I was giving a campus tour to incoming freshman and some father said in response to a class size:
"It's a lot bigger than I expected!"
Opp...
you are a GOD!
that is all.
Good work, Opp. Doesn't it just make it that much better that he's innocent? And...that's what she said.
[Me and a friend trying to fit a sleeping bag into it's case]
It's a little big, do you think it's going to fit? That's what she said
It has to, maybe if we jiggle it around a little... That's what she said
Don't jiggle it too hard, it might not come out... That's what she said
Both of us, push harder, and keep squeezing it until it gets in there.. That's what she said
Finally it's in... oh wait, I forgot to pack some other stuff and it won't fit in, are we going to have to put it in then out... That's what she said
No, we'll just have to find another entrance since this one's full... That's what she said!
So, a few year's ago I was in a men's room and this joke popped up...I can't remember exactly what was said, but it all kinda really got goin when I responded to something with,
"That's what she said"
somebody else piped in,
"and that's why she left"
I'd even heard that one before, and used it a bit myself...but then from the other side of the room came a third chime, with something very witty, that fit right in...but for the life of me, I haven't been able to remember it...arggghhhh!
So, I thought I'd post here, since there has been a little action on this topic here...anybody with any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a bunch...
enjoy
I had a pretty cool one too ( it depends on whether you like it or not)
A one in a life thing but still
My dad and uncle and me were climbing in the car and I say
"I call shotgun"
my uncle says
"Yea careful with that shotgun stuff, you'll be lucky to shoot it in the back end"
Well I liked it
dont know about you
ha ha nice
my best one yet (ok yer not that good)
in my year 12 p.e lesson we had to do step-ups on a bench for 2 minutes so we could measure our heart rate afterwards. anyway some people were doing them too fast so our teacher ,Mr. V, said
"Don't go 2 fast, you have to last at least 2 minutes"
and then i obviously said "that's what she said"
lol classic
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