That Doesn't Make Me Gay

It’s not gay if I shower with a loofa.

It’s not gay if I like figure skating.

It’s not gay if I slept in the same bed as another man.

It’s not gay if I spooned him.

It’s not gay if I didn’t kiss him back.

It’s not gay if I didn’t initate it.

It’s not gay if I thought he was a woman at first.

It’s not gay if I was the pitcher.

It’s not gay if I didn’t like it.

It’s not gay if I swore him to secrecy.

It’s not gay if I regret it afterwards.

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