The N-Word Still the In-Word

Two birds, two cats, and the score from Predator 2. What's the worst that could happen?

Growing up in the South, a region which didn't birth bigotry but certainly makes damn sure discrimination doesn't die, I've personally been exposed to diction most others have only read about. Vile and venomous vocabulary like darkie, blue gum, spade, spook, jiggaboo, jungle bunny, porch monkey, yard ape, moon cricket, coon, spear chucker, tar baby, and burrhead just to list a few. Regardless of where I go, racial slurs are an inescapable part of life. Of course this could be because the person saying them is me.

This reminds me of a nursery rhyme my dad would tell me: "Fight, fight. A nigger and a white. If the white don't win, we'll put Jim Crow back in."I love racism: it's the great equalizer. I've always felt racism's greatest quality is its lack of bias. From Caucasian to Asian, every ethnic group has a chance to be stereotypically insulted. And at no point do slurs judge one group more harshly than another. Everyone is included, no one excluded.

But without question, the greatest by-product to come from racism is the word "nigger." Nigger is the equivalent of a white supremacist's sawed-off shotgun: short, efficient, and packs a hell of a punch. Think about it.... When in history have six letters strung together resulted in so many people strung up together? That, ladies and gents, is good light-hearted fun.

Apparently I'm not the only one still embracing an American tradition like racism. Take a look at a few of the comments provoked by this week's video:

"From the title I thought this was going to me a bunch of niggers fighting Mexicans"
-Glenn Beck

Don't worry Glenn, I felt cheated too. BREAK shouldn't have labeled the video with a misleading title like "Epic Animal Street Fight." Are they trying to be a cocktease? From just the thought of two inferior races fighting each other for second place, I had one hand reaching for a lotion bottle and the other fumbling for my linen towel embroidered with three K's.

Heaven forbid the gingers get in on the action. "MexiCoons"
-FuhCough

Imagine being a Mexicoon. Part of you would want to take all of the white man's jobs, while your other half would want to give the jobs right back.

"white cat should have made the black cat bite the curb"
-Tr1pl3Thr3at

Finally, a sensible solution to the racial problems in America. But why stop with one black cat? We should curb-stomp all of the black cats in our country. Well, not we. That would be far too much manual labor. We better hire some Mexicans to do the stomping. $2.13 an hour sounds fair, right?

"the white cat should avoid the ‘colored' neighborhood next time."
-CaptainHindsight

Whites didn't get to the top of food chain only to start avoiding our prey now. I say we take Marcus Garvey up on his offer and UPS blacks back to Africa. Problem solved.

"fight fight. A ni**er and a white. If the white dont win, we'll all jump in."
-bowzerwowzer

This reminds me of a nursery rhyme my dad would tell me as a young kid right before I'd drift off to sleep. As he tucked me in, he'd softly say, "Fight, fight. A nigger and a white. If the white don't win, we'll put Jim Crow back in." What really makes this such a Hallmark moment isn't that it tells the triumphs of America's legal system, but rather he didn't whisper, "Knock, knock. I'm looking at my kin. If you take your pants off, I'll ease my way in."

"one white thing being harrased by three black things...typical."
-tkal16

I'm no mentalist, but I'm willing to wager this was written by Rodney King. Wait, that wouldn't make any sense. Like most blacks, there's no way Rodney knows how to write.

"Animals are racist."
-loungefan1

Thank God someone finally came out and mentioned the elephant in the room. For a moment, I thought perhaps the racists were the people posting prejudiced comments under pseudonyms. But as it turns out, the true racists were nothing more than animals all along.