I’m beginning to get very concerned over a highly disturbing trend that has gotten way out of control lately. No, I’m not talking about Justin Bieber—he’s been disturbing from the get go—I’m talking about people needing everything to be 100% politically correct all the time. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being sensitive to other people’s feelings and truly believe there is a time and a place for certain things to be said in a certain way. For example, I would never crack rape jokes at someone while they were completing their sexual assault evidence collection kit, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a time and a place for rape jokes. For instance, if a rapist went to jail and then got raped, I would crack jokes mercilessly at them, no matter how hard they took it, because that’s fucking irony…literally.

Daniel Tosh rape joke is funny
I bet all those overly sensitive people would laugh if Daniel Tosh committed suicide on May 29th, 2013. You know, because suicide is funny.

Personally, I think the world needs a big wakeup call with a heavy side dose of reality, especially when it comes to comedians and what they can and cannot say. Comedy has always been a venue for people to be as irreverent and outlandish as they want, because it is understood going in that the person saying the irreverent and outlandish things isn’t serious. It’s a joke and thus by its very definition it is NOT meant to be taken seriously. If you’re the one taking a joke seriously then you are the asshole who needs to be apologizing, not the comedian. Comedians need to recognize that the moment they start apologizing for their jokes is the moment they’ve ceased to be a good comedian. Stop censoring yourselves!

I, for one, am very offended that people who are so easily offended are attending comedy shows and certainly no one has ever apologized to me for them being there. What the hell are they even doing in a comedic forum if they’re going to be taking jokes seriously? It doesn’t make any sense. It would be like a vegetarian going to Pizza Hut, ordering a meat lover’s pizza, and then getting pissed off that there was meat on it. Grow the fuck up and take responsibility for your own personal shit. If you have issues that make it impossible for you to navigate the world then don’t expect the rest of the world to bend to your whim, just develop better coping skills. Who cares if you’re offended?! You can be offended all you want, but don’t expect other people to give a shit that you’re offended. I’m offended on a daily basis by people’s utter stupidity, but none of you dumbasses are getting any smarter to personally make it up to me. You don’t see me running around whining and crying about being offended and demanding public apologies from everyone, do you?

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I'm Offended that You Are Offended
Here, let me apologize: I’m really sorry you’re so stupid and easily offended.

Comedy is meant to be funny, period. Since it is meant to be funny, the intent is ALWAYS to induce more laughter in the world—and if there is one thing the world needs more of, it’s certainly more laughter. If you don’t find a particular joke funny, then don’t pitch a 3-year-old’s fit about it, just realize that comedy is subjective and what you don’t find funny, someone else will. If you don’t have a good sense of humor then you definitely shouldn’t be attending comedy shows any more than someone who only loves jazz should be going to heavy metal concerts expecting a good time. It’s not the comedian’s fault for saying the wrong thing, it’s your fault for being in the wrong venue and not being able to appreciate their style of comedy.

Think of some of the greatest comedians you can and try to realize that they not only pushed the limits of acceptability, but made a regular point of completely obliterating those limits. Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Sarah Silverman, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Eddie Murphy, Whoopi Goldberg, Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Maria Bamford, Louis C.K., Eddie Izzard, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart, Dennis Miller, Margaret Cho, Mel Brooks, Sandra Bernhard, Jim Carrey, Wanda Sykes, Lewis Black, Janeane Garofalo, Dave Chappelle, Roseanne Barr, Bernie Mac, Paula Poundstone, Jerry Seinfeld, Gilbert Gottfried, Chris Rock, Woody Allen, Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais…the list goes on and on. Imagine how much laughter we’d be without if those comedians were forced, by an overly sensitive society, to be politically correct in order to not offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities.

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Slaughter neon sign
"Killing" in comedy could also refer to slaughtering people’s acceptable boundaries.

Just chill the fuck out, people, and learn to take a joke. Nothing, and I mean nothing, should be off limits to a comedian. Take Anne Frank for instance, if I made a joke about Anne Frank and how I think it would have been a real bummer to play hide and seek with her as a kid, because she’d always win, people would likely go ape shit about it. But come on, it’s just a joke, an overly exaggerated irreverent joke that shouldn’t even be remotely taken seriously. I mean, obviously it’s an exaggeration—she wasn’t THAT good at hide and seek, because the Nazis found her and they were about as dumb as it gets…well, except for maybe all these overly sensitive people.

Relax, it’s just a joke.

Color photo of Anne Frank
I’d bury you at hide and seek, in fact you still don’t know where I’m buried.

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