College Quotes
Waitress: Today's soup is chicken artichoke. It's chicken and artichoke in a white cream sauce served in a bread bowl with fresh vegetables.
Eric: Are a lot of people ordering that today?
Waitress: No not really. Why?
Eric: I'm just a little hesitant on ordering food with choke and chicken in its title that's in a white cream sauce.
Waitress: So do you want a water or something?
-Customer service at its finest
Funny AIM Convos
The Scale of Doom
(PG-13, 70 lines)A scale isn't the only way to help fatties face the truth about their weight problem.
You've Been Hacked!
(PG-13, 49 lines)Every year, on April 1st, The Humor Bot turns into a hacking machine.
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Books from PIC
The Snippets and the Impure Tour
By Nathan DeGraaf
A fascinating tour of sex, booze, drugs, and debauchery, complete with witty banter.
The Imbible
By Alex Bash
The definitive guide to drinking games, both new and classic, plus boob jokes.
About Points in Case
At a Glance
PIC is the largest online college publication, featuring original comedy articles, columns, blogs, and funny college quotes daily. But the ladies tell us it's not the size that matters, it's how well we tickle the funny bone. So please forgive us for trying to make you laugh at all costs.
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Salvation for a Slut
Salvation for a Slut
>>> Ask
Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
July 7, 2004
|
Dear Nicole,How do I get my slutty friend to quit whoring around? I'm to the point I want to quit being friends with her. Is there any way to salvage our friendship without
having to call her a dirty slut and ignore her phone calls?
-Caitlin
Dear Caitlin,
Just be patient, and she'll eventually contract an STD like gonorrhea, genital herpes, or the Ebola virus. That should put her skanky ass out of commission for
awhile.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
Do you have money? I mean, LOTS of money? 'Cause I don't want to waste a fixation.
-Painkiller
Dear Painkiller,
Nah (although I do have a couple of college degrees I'm not using...you can have them if you want). I blame my financial indigence on corporate America. I hate
corporate America. Because...well I can't remember exactly, but I think I heard somewhere that they force indigenous peoples to work in sweatshops, making mallets
to beat other indigenous peoples. And I'm not totally sure, but I bet the mallets are carved from old-growth rainforest trees.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
My college roommate Billy started a website about college humor. Now he's all too cool to hang out with me and whenever I ask him for any spare change, he tells me
to get a job and kicks over my guitar case....what should I do?
-G-Ave
Dear G,
Oh come on, we all know these college humor websites are on the way out. All their material is written by talentless, egotistical keyboard jockeys who couldn't
identify Platonism in literary neoclassical aesthetics if you shoved it up
their ass.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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