AHAHAHAHA, just kidding. You're a hardcore writer's writer and the thought of anything less than comedy disgusts you. Perhaps you're also an attention whore who demands no less than one large, glossy photo of yourself in the corner of millions of people's computer screens, and the only way you could accomplish that previously was a regrettable pose for a trashy porn site. Yes, that photo will probably turn up later when you're famous, sorry.

But seriously, if you've passed the First Rule of Write Club, and you're willing to make a weekly commitment, gather your wits and email the following to :

1. A proposal for a column theme/style/something that sets you apart.
2. A description of your column in the format of our current column descips.
3. Potential column titles.
4. Potential creative elements, if you think they would enhance your column. We like to call these "schticks." For instance, snippets, word of the day, pic/caption, or any consistent creative element.
5. 2-3 column samples (Word docs preferred).

Don't worry about getting it all right the first time; we'll work with you to edit and refine your ideas into the concept that works best for you.

With over half a million people reading the site every month, our columnists receive a lot of exposure. As a result of writing for PIC, columnists have received book deals, written for major magazines, competed in a national IM competition, won their college's English Major of the Year award, partied harder, met people in bars/online, hooked up with some of those people, engaged drunken fans in conversation, overcome school censorship, learned things about themselves they never knew, and picked up more Facebook friends than they asked for. No one has ever died as a result of writing for PIC, although one person still remains missing.

So that's it. With any luck, we'll have a guitar in your hands, an amp at your feet, and a bunch of rowdy college kids drenched in beer screaming your name.

-Court Sullivan
Editor, Points in Case