The Evolution of the Whore

There are many different steps in life that lead up to a career in professional prostitution. Unlike
many of society’s other jobs, this is not one that people simply transfer into. One does not leave a job as say, a patent clerk, only to end up walking a street
corner in stiletto heels the next day. It takes time to become a total whore. Now, the steps we will be talking about today are steps taken by decent women who (for lack
of a better term) evolve into whores. Please understand that, depending on the background of the woman in question, many of these steps could be skipped. For example, if
you are a female who was sexually abused by your father, developed a cocaine addiction when you were fifteen and lived in Las Vegas, well, you probably didn’t evolve
into a prostitute. You were more than likely bred for it. But, for semi-educated women raised by non-abusive, non-drug addicted parents, the following outlines the
evolution of whoredom.

"There is a machine in the back of Hooters that dispenses that shiny leg hosiery. The sizes come in small, medium and 'you’re
fired.'"

Step 1: The Waitress

It all starts innocently enough. The number one occupation for female, non-college graduates attracts another pretty college girl. It happens approximately seventeen
thousand times a day in the Southwest Region of the United States (source: my friend Ben’s random guess and love of the number seventeen). Many waitresses end up
graduating college and moving on to other careers. Many do not. The waitresses that drop out of college and become professional waitresses, in the interest of self
preservation and disposable income, keep finding better paying (read: better tipping) restaurants until they have worked themselves up the waitress-ladder to Step 2.



Step 2: Hooters Girl

Okay, I love Hooters Girls so I’m gonna use this opportunity to let you in on a few Hooters Girl secrets. First, there is a machine in the back that dispenses that
shiny leg hosiery. The sizes come in small, medium and "you’re fired." Second, Hooters requires many of their girls to hostess first, so they can learn the art of
schlepping for tips while dipping to display cleavage by watching the experienced professionals bring the wings. Third, that Hooters girl, she doesn’t really like you,
and even if she gave you a real phone
number, she probably won’t return your calls. But nice tip.

Step 3: Go-Go Dancer

At some point in her career, the Hooters Girl realizes that Go-Go Dancers wear only slightly less clothes, are only slightly more degraded, and make three times as much
money. It’s not a big jump for the Hooters girl to find a career in the Go-Go club (which is really just a strip club with no nudity). From there it’s not much
of a jump to full on nude stripper, which is why that’s step 4.



Step 4: Nude Stripper

By this point, our innocent college drop out girl has seen quite a lot. She’s delivered private dances (i.e. dry humps) in the Go-Go clubs, and she’s been
accosted by men both as a waitress and a dancer. All the late nights and interesting characters she has encountered have helped her develop a cocaine habit and a penchant
for supporting an unemployed boyfriend who favors wearing wife-beaters and dispensing beatings based on either
how insanely jealous he is or his current level of self-esteem. She needs money to support both her habit and her man, so our Go-Go girl figures, “You know, the only
thing that strippers do differently is take off their outfits and make three times as much money.”

After six or seven months of coming home with six or seven hundred dollars a night, the purchase of a plasma television, an expensive laptop, an island vacation and two Jaguars, our
stripper gets propositioned by one of her regulars at the club. It turns out, that for a half hour of sex, this guy will pay nine hundred dollars. "Well," thinks our
stripper, "I trust this guy, he’ll wear a condom and I can make two car payments off one half hour of work." After a few months as a VIP room favorite, our stripper is now a club-hooker.



Step 5: Club Hooker

She’s making thousands of dollars a week on her back and with her mouth and she didn’t even have to go to college! She’s proud, well-dressed, constantly
under the influence of expensive drugs and alcohol, and well-known in the strip club. After a few more months in the club, she decides she doesn’t even need the damn
place and gives out her phone number to all of her club regulars, who now can be called Johns.



So there you have it. In less than two years, daddy’s little college drop out has gone from local pub waitress to full-on professional whore. In a few years time,
she’ll lose her looks and either end up killing herself, walking the streets as a desperate crack whore or working as a bartender in a crappy pub where she dispenses
fifty dollar blow jobs in the back room to lonely truckers who found her name on truck stop bathroom walls. And you thought that was just silly graffiti.


This study has been brought to you by two drunk young men in a bar. All research was complete and total fiction as we
don’t understand such concepts. All writing was brought to you by me because I won the coin toss with my friend Ben. If this study offends you in any way, please
understand that you have no sense of humor and should not reproduce. For a detailed account of this analysis, please send a check or money order for $900 to "Nathan
DeGraaf." Please understand that the detailed account of this analysis will consist of nothing more than a used handkerchief. This study was endorsed by the International
Academy of Design because their president thought he was signing a petition to save the whales.

Email |

|