I actually discovered PIC after college. When I was in college, the internet was for academic endeavors and porn. And the two never met. Though if those two were introduced, PIC would have been as likely a target as any site for said meeting. Probably in one of Goodyer’s pieces. I think the orderlies only let that dude use the computer when he’s been behaving. Anyway, I discovered PIC goofing off at my first real job.
As I aged and the jobs changed, I still found ways to check out the site while goofing off at work. At the time I didn’t own a computer because, well, I was done with college and I had already amassed a pretty good porn collection by that time, so I never thought of submitting to PIC because that would have meant writing at work, and I was already goofing off enough there thanks to the internet.
"A few months later, I acquired a computer and I was able to stop writing in bar offices."
Until one day, the 2004 hurricane season happened and I thought of the perfect place to share this opportunity with you. So I submitted a piece to Court that I wrote at then-girlfriend’s house and not only did he post it, he added the cussword “asshole.”
You believe that? Court Sullivan was the first and only editor I’ve ever had actually add a cuss word to my work.
That was when I knew I had found a home.
I started submitting front pagers with a little more regularity and Court kept posting them. I took that as a good sign.
One of my favorite writers on the site was Emmanuel Witzman. I think writers got his writing the best, but I digress. Anyway, the one they called The Canadian quit, and I wanted some better columns on the site. So I asked Court if I could have one.
“Okay,” he said. “But don’t steal anything.”
Actually he never said that.
What he said was really boring. I had to get passwords and set up a bio, get my picture taken and we had to discuss the format for my column.
We still haven’t finished that discussion.
A few months later, I was a PIC columnist. Court promised me a blog, too. And he even said that he wouldn’t edit it.
“It’s your copyright over there, dude. So it’s your ass.”
A few months later, I acquired a computer (thanks Mom) and I was able to stop writing in bar offices and friend’s houses. This changed my writing so much that no one ever noticed.
135 weeks later (there were some site crashes along the way) and here I am submitting my 132nd column.
I haven’t missed a deadline yet.
Of course, that’s probably because I submit cookie cutter columns like this every few weeks just to keep the streak alive but so what? Brett Favre sucked for the last two years and look at him now.
And I ain’t ready to retire either.
And now you know a little bit about how I came to write for PIC. If this information hasn’t saved your soul, quite frankly, I worry about you.
Sinner.
