You're Not Free
"Of course, don't ever tell anybody that they're not free, 'cause then they're gonna get real busy killin' and maimin' to prove to you that they are. Oh, yeah, they're gonna talk to you, and talk to you, and talk to you about individual freedom. But they see a free individual, it's gonna scare 'em."
-Jack Nicholson, Easy Rider, 1969
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you're not free. You lack the basic rights of liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You live in a police state. More specifically, you live in a country with the largest prison population per capita in the world. Your rulers mandate what you put in your body, how you put it in your body, what kind of currency you must value... hell, even the way you show your love to a member of the opposite (or same) sex is mandated by law. And you have no say so.
You're American. You like to think you're in charge, that you're part of the winning team. You've been duped, straight up deeked. You're not free.
George Carlin once said, "Oh sure, you have freedoms. You're free to choose between the blue car and the red car..." And he's right. You can decide whether you'd rather have Xanax or Prozac, the iPod or the Zoom, the television show or the movie. You can decide on your brand of toilet paper and your brand of Vodka but you cannot decide where to worship your God or what method you use to cure your children's' illnesses... hell you're not even allowed to choose a currency that doesn't automatically lose its value to your oppressors over time.
But you think you're free.
You think you're free because "if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about."
Except of course if the rulers who are doing something wrong...
You think you're free because, "There's always been inflation. Money's always been like this."
Except of course, that there hasn't always been inflation (see 1885-1913) and one of our founding fathers (Andrew Jackson) made it his stance both politically and personally to stop our paper money from "Being like this."
You think you're free because it's worse in other countries. You think you're free because you can vote for one side of a two-party system that differs in opinion only on the subject of where they spend the money they steal from you. You think you're free because, like old Jack said, the idea of not being free frustrates you and pisses you off. As it should.
But you're lazy. You're American. And you like to think that you're in charge, that the whole thing makes sense, that you're a part of the winning team. You've been duped, fooled and straight up deeked. You've been tricked into believing you're part of something special when in all honesty, you are a source of continuing income for the rich, a piece of livestock that must be controlled, contained and milked for all it's worth. You are a dumb milking cow chewing on the cud they call "status quo."
And as you stand there, chewing away, watching them electrify the fences in the name of your safety (as they say) and not to protect their financial interests (as is the truth), waiting for them to steal your milk right out from under you, you may experience a slight tinge of frustration, a maybe kinda sorta feeling that things are not right. You won't react to this because you have television and the movies, you have the blue car and the red car, you have your Xanax. And anyway, the world's always been like this.
There's always been someone stealing from you. There's always been this big, electric fence. Things have always been like this and we can't expect them to change. We can't stop it and we can't make it go away.
And since we cannot actually be free, the next best thing is to convince ourselves that we already are free. We can pretend the cud is lobster. We can pretend we can choose how we live. We can pretend that all of this is awesome and perfect and the way it always has been and the way it always will be.
We are, in short, free to lie to ourselves.
















19 Comments
One word: Excellent.
you are my HERO!
you put in words what i've been trying to explain to idiots for years!
thank you.
It's "Zune," you fossil.
Also, once you've yank any and all optimism out of the equation (i.e. I've got free will and abstract thought, so fuck outside influence), this just makes for another curmudgeonly lecture. At least throw a joke in there next time. Livestock metaphors, while often poignant, aren't inherently funny.
Let me know if you have trouble with that ringtone of the above quote that I sent you.
Great stuff. I also think that we're 'free to escape'. We can jump into our sailboat and cross into international waters or drive our car across the border into Mexico. You might need a passport or more, (some people are less free than us) but you can at least go check out other societies to see if they are, in fact, freer.
You're a wonderful dose of cynical sunshine, as usual. Keep at it.
Why so grouchy?
I hate these tirades, Nate. They are depressing and not funny. And for the record, you are just as "not free" as your audience. Give the self righteous, rebel guru thing a rest. Be funny instead, you're so good at that. Besides, no one is reading this piece and having an epiphany, your readers are pretty smart to begin with. We get it.
Hmmmm, where should I begin? I guess the 1st Anon. should do. Yes, we are smart(Even if we aren't good with grammer and whatnot.) Yes, Nate's posts aren't always funny. Yes, he and we know this and are ok with it. Yes this is an almost entirely humor based web-site. However, it isn't your web-site. If Court allows Nate to post his personal(and not always funny views) then so be it. If this is your way of saying that you aren't happy with yourself and the way your world is, that is YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM. The posts are "depressing" to you because you know what you just read is true. Is it a terrible, horrible and life altering truth? No not really. Well, maybe for you it is but we don't care about you 1st Anon. You might think I do because I am addressing you but I really don't. You are the voice of the anonymous many who are happy being sheep(errrr, to keep with Nate's post, cows.)
And so that I don't have to go back and cut out what I previously typed, I say to Mr. "Flaggard" FUCKING BOO-HOO! OH NO IT WASN'T FUNNY!!!!!!!! Deal with it!
To Nathan DeGraaf, I am lucky enough to live in the 14th congressional district of Texas and I am positive you know who my Crongressman is. I am a lucky mutha-fucka to have said representative. If you ever make it over to the "3rd coast" I will have some alcohol waiting for you.
(Let the "You fucking ass kisser, man-crush having", replies begin. Like I said, I don't care. I am drunk and headed to a bar. I suggest you all do the same before that 'freedom' is taken away from you.
Of course it's true you moron. That's not the point. The point is that facing these kind of truths, evident or not, is depressing. On top of this, have you not gotten at least the slightest bit sick of the way Nate addresses us from on high in these tirades? His attitude being that "you" are not free but that he somehow is? The slave who knows he's a slave is still a slave. We aren't doing anything about it but neither is Nate. So where does he get off talking down to us like this?
1. Andrew Jackson was not one of our Founding Fathers. He was not in the constitutional convention. He was a soldier during those times.
2. Andrew Jackson also indirectly caused a recession to occur, because he felt that there was no need for a Federal Central Bank. He killed it, ushering in a time of deregulation and virtually no Central bank to control other banks.
3. I liked your post. I generally don't like other writers, because they simply have no writing ability. I used to read back in the day with Nick Gauido(spelling?) and the other guy...who i forgot his name. Freeman, Paul Frank are okay too. The reason I liked your post, because it had some purpose or point or some underlying humor.
Good job and keep up the work.
And fuck you for having a gf with giant tits.
Balls and nuts. Balls and nuts, dude.
Nate,
Why don't you get off your fucking soapbox and move back to the fucking Netherlands if you're so fucking oppressed.
-Marine
Amen
well written I must say.
Want total freedom? Move to Somalia.
Want reasonable freedoms, provided that they don't harm anyone else (and a fetus is not a person!)? Come to Canada. Yes, we have high taxes, but those taxes give you access to healthcare and good social services. Plus our oppressive power hungry government wants to implement Bush-style restrictions (but lower taxes! hooray!) on us, and we could use your voting support to get rid of them.
"Think for yourself.
Question authority.
Throughout human history our species has faced the terifying fact that we do not know who we are or where we are going in this sea of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities that have tried to calm us by establishing: Rules, Regulations, Order, informing and forming our minds to their veiw of reality, in order to think for yourself you must Question authority and put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused, vulnerable open-mindedness. to inform yourself.
Think for yourself.
Question authority."
We have the Freedom to commit to any action we desire...
The only problem is there are consequences to our actions... all you said is true, accept that we are not free.
it was also put in the most pessimistic way possible lol
Many of us are aware, I just don't fucking care. Does doing nothing about it make me a cud chewing cow? I think not, for I know full well how not free I am. I choose to be the one without absolute freedom because I am knowingly placated by the freedoms of beer choice and strange hookup choice. I ask you, is freedom all it's cracked up to be?
I am sad I wasted just a few moments of my day reading this, but then again, at least I didn't write it. What a waste of not only the short time it took to think it up and convert it to text, but also the years spent on a degree in writing.
Take a few more psych courses, I'd suggest abnormal psych. Or better yet go visit a prison psych ward. Then you will value the fact that you don't want everyone to be free because this country would be shit. You, the author, would be afraid to leave the very room you conjured up this crap. If your going to waste your time meddling with some socio-philosophical ideology, try picking a more substantial topic next time.
- Someone who likes this country and wants you to move away.
This is wonderfully written and tells the truth very concisely. Thank you. Some people continue to remain in denial but eventually even they will be unable to lie to themselves.
I do not claim any other country is better; almost the entire world is at least this bad and usually much worse. Even though we're better than most other places in the world, it's no excuse to accept things as they are.
We have to push hard to win the power over our own destiny, as a country.
All throughout the course of history has been times when people have opposed authority. Luther in the protestant reformation, Americans in the American Revoloution, and in the French revolution the erm... French people...
But basicly (basicaly? basically???) if you want any more freedom then you already have, your going to have to rally support (in the form of violant military powers or mad scientists who can breed a new form of death dealing mammals.) and challenge authority.
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