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Peevin' Over Pinstripes
Peevin' Over Pinstripes
>>> Casual
Misanthropy
By staff writer JD Rebello
December 21, 2003
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History has been filled with great villains. Judas, Napoleon, Benedict Arnold, Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Fran Drescher (those Old Navy commercials should be enough for
an Orange Alert). But there is an evil out there still that must be dealt with, must be destroyed. One that has embattled the American psyche and all the morals and ideals
we hold dear. Of course, I am talking about the New York Yankees.
How do I hate the Yankees? Let me count the ways.
1. I hate Steinbrenner, the Darth Vader of sports, who endlessly pours money into his team if god forbid they don't win the World Series every year. People love to
credit the Yankees for filling their team with homegrown players from the farm team. And while that's true, let us not forget that most teams have decent farm systems, but
the Yankees can afford to keep all of them even when they get really great. Steinbrenner has essentially destroyed baseball. That's all there is to it. He sees what he
wants, pays a shitload, raises the prices of all the players, which in turn costs owners more, which in turn raises ticket prices, which in turn hurts the fan base, which
in turn causes me to write rambling, run-on sentences.
2. I hate Derek Jeter. People like to call him the best shortstop who isn't name Alex. Cut the shit. Nomar is infinitely better than
Jeter, OK? And Jeter is one of the biggest fags in the history of sport. He
makes Kordell Stewart look like Jimmy Kimmel.
3. I hate Yankee fans...and their lame ass posturing. After September 11, I actually pissed Yankee fans off because I said I still didn't want the Yankees to win
the World Series (and they didn't...God bless brand new Red Sox Curt Schilling). They called me unpatriotic and an asshole. Gimme a fuckin break, would ya please? I was as
sympathetic toward the families and victims of Sept 11 as anyone else, but I find it hard to believe that a baseball game is going to justify anything for anyone. "Say
honey, our son was needlessly murdered by a bunch of
fuckin' dimwits from the Middle East, but the Yankees won so I guess everything is OK."
Now, I don't have a problem with all Yankees fans. If you were born in New York, fine, and by New York I mean around the Bronx area. Ok, fine, you can root for the
Yankees. But if you were born in Massachusetts, don't give me this shit that you were always a big Don Mattingly fan and so you root for the Yankees. 90% of Yankees fans
are full of shit, bandwagon douchebags. Same with Red Wings, Cowboys, Steelers, Raiders, and Lakers fans who aren't from that city or area.
Now, I know a thing or two about bandwagons. During the recent Red Sox playoff run, which ended brutally thanks to a conspiracy conjured up by Fox Sports (they got Bret
Boone to be a broadcast analyst, and his little brother Aaron hit the series-ending home run, come on now), a lot of people in the greater Boston area adapted the "COWBOY
UP" mantra made famous by Kevin Millar, a player I like, but who is not going to be confused with Jim Rice anytime soon. It comes down to this, if you say COWBOY UP,
you're a bandwagon retard, and obviously hardly know that the Red Sox are a baseball team.
I'm also getting sick of people telling me Fenway Park sucks. Yes, it's small. Yes, it's uncomfortable. But if you give a rat's ass about history, then you gotta love it.
Unlike other ballparks with jacuzzis near the bullpen and tennis courts out past the foul pole, Fenway is one of the true baseball stadiums to capably maintain the history
it has encapsulated. Unlike Yankee Stadium, which felt the need to erect a veritable museum in its outfield to show people how many good players have come and gone.
Apparently a giant statue of Steinbrenner masturbating is in the works for the 2004 season.
The only way to stop the Yankees is simple: write your local Senator of baseball club owner and demand a salary cap in baseball. Force the
Yankees to play on the same level as everyone else and sodomizing the sport. Rich people ruin everything and devalue the sport and its fans. That's what the Yankees are
doing, buying championships, giving photo-ops for Nicole Kidman to plug a movie by sitting in the stands, and making every other team in baseball have to take it up the
ass to sign a free agent because the Yankees jack up the cost. With a salary cap, the Yankees couldn't do that, Steinbrenner wouldn't be such a tool, and we wouldn't have
to listen to all that talk about how great the Yankees look.
And for all the Red Sox fans reading this who are sick of hearing "1918" thrown about, throw this back at them: Josh Beckett. Shuts 'em up awfully quick.
Peevin' Over Pinstripes, Part Deux >>
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12 Comments
talkin about the yankees spending all this money to win a championship? just look at all the money for people the red sox got this off-season. they also tried to get a-rod! don't tell me that they aren't trying to buy a championship with all the players they are going out to get. i think they spending that both teams are doing is just intensifying the rivalry and it's nice to see because now people are getting competitive with one another.
man i never saw such a retarded red sox fan.
i live in new yok, currently at seton hall university. i was born and raised in the South Bronx. I been a Yankees fan since i was 10, in 1995. yea u can bullshit me that thats wen the run started, but thats wen i started understanding sports. so sue me for being a yankee fan.
to address your Steinbrenner is everything wrong with the sport, why don't you take a CLOSE look.
Steinbrenner may be an impatient, unreasonable, and hasty man, but winning is the most important thing in his mind, as it should be for ANY owner in ANY sport. Just because he doesn't sit back on his BILLIONS of dollars that he makes off of the greatest team in sports, and pumps it back into the team, you get angry.. maybe jealous?. And if you are trying to make me feel sorry for you that the red sox are not on the same plane as the yankees, then u need to be shot, because last time i checked, the red sox traded for curt schilling and signed him to 12 mil a year thru 2006 (which would go higher with incentives), signed keith fouke for 24 more million, and are trying desperately to add A-Rod and his 179 million dollar remaining salary. Don't try to bullshit me in saying the Steinbrenner is out of line buying all these guys. He plays by the rules, and wins by the rules. If you HAVE been paying attention, the Yankees won all their World Championships when there payroll wasnt over 120 million, and won with the homegrown guys and making smart decisions. Now they are old, incohesive, and an "all-star" team with bad attitudes. If you want to blame Steinbrenner for something, blame Steinbrenner for giving your team a better chance by not signing Andy Pettitte.
They still probably will win over 100 games, and still probably woop Red Sox ass, with A-ROd or not. I hope Millar is happy with Nomar at short, (who by the way had a brilliant ALCS) even though he went on record (while the trade wasn't done) to say hed rather have arod at short. i dont think you would ever see "the biggest fag in sports" ever say something like that. And I love how Boston would love to get rid of Nomar to get A-Rod, while the Yankees laugh with the best postseason shortstop ever. who still makes less than that asshole manny ramirez who would rather have a few drinks with enrique wilson than run hard to first base. that pitch from clemens was AWFULLY close to his head.. or NOT. what a prick. too bad no one picked him off waivers. too bad that he yearns to play for the yankees and the yankees said fuck you.
Bottom line is: Stop your bitching and moaning. Your team is going to be great this year. It is finally good to see that the Red Sox have competent ownership, and there are going to be some epic AL East battles this year. Yankees and Red Sox are as even as ever.
and to your JOsh Beckett comment?
Hows about Mariano Rivera? or how about Tim Wakefield.
Douche.
I hate the Yankees. As much as I hated the Marlins for beating the Cubs in the NLCS, I couldn't bring myself to cheer for the Yankees. I have met my fair share of moron Yankees "fans". I say "fans" because I live in Chicago, and everyone in Chicago knows that New York sucks, so how could you possibly cheer for their baseball team? Steinbrenner is taking the fun out of baseball's competition. There are teams that have no way of landing and keeping any good players because teams like the Yankees buy their teams year after year, after year. I can't stand Derek Jeter, I would be really pissed off if the Cubs tried to or actually did aquire him. Cubs vs. Red Sox World Series 2004??
couldn't have said it much better andrew, i am right there with you man, red sox fan don't know shit, it's just cause their jealous they can't win, and it's gonna be more funny when they get their asses kicked by the yanks this year and don't make it after signing all those guys, it's gonna be funny to see
Andrews the douche along with his Yankee douche-bag friends, FUCK THE YANKEES!!!
you are sucha fuckin douche bag... just because you havent won a world series since 1918 and your team made one of sports most infinatly stupid tradesof all time, doesnt give you the right to bash the best team in the league. Sure, Steinbrenner pays to win... but the only people that are pissed about that are the fucking poor shits like you that dont matter! go root for your red sox and have fun being dissapointed for the rest of your lives
I echo the sentiments of Andrew, the wise young man from my alma mater. Very well-stated. Couldn't have said it better myself.
God help that destitute Red Sox ownership! PLEASE!
You DO realize that an article like this only serves to bring even more joy to loyal and true Yankee fans, right? For that, I thank you Justin Rebello!
whoa, you baseball fans need to calm down. Why dont you grab a seat at the arena and watch alittle hockey action. Thats where its at
~ Aud
Ok, for all those who say that the Yankees don't buy the championship, you're a complete retard. The yankees have the highest salary in baseball because they are giving top dollars to the top players. The only way other teams can compete is doing a jackass thing like the yankees are doing, spend insane amounts of money for great players. yankees are ruining baseball; a team the dominates every year might bring interest to fans of that team, but every other team that looses as a result, fan base will drop off significantly. In football there is a salary cap which means you have to actually have some skill in recruiting and field a good team. you have the same amount to spend as other teams, which puts all teams on an even playing field. if one team wins it is because they have a better team but they didn't cheat to get it.
brian the yankees do not have the highest SALARY, they have the highest payroll. and i do believe i stated that the yankees are no longer a cohesive, homegrown group, but now a collection of old superstars. as i pointed out before, the yankees won all their world series before their payroll skyrocketed. When they started buying all these free agents is when they started going down the drain. Look who has won the last three world series. the diamondbacks, angels, and marlins. if you add up all three of those payrolls, it probably doesnt equal the yankees 2004 payroll. May i ask how the yankees are dominating and ruining baseball? They have lost the last three world series. you would be lyring ur faggot ass off if you told me that you picked any of those three teams to win the world series that year. The surprises of those teams show that there is no problem with competitive balance in baseball.
And how are the yankees cheating? last time i checked, you were allowed to spend any outrageous amount of money, as long as you paid the luxury tax. baseball isnt football my friend, so why dont u shove one up ur ass. get your facts straight. douchebag. i dont even kno why i am responding to this asanine comment.
and mike.. calling me a douche bag is an excellent argument to the points i made. maybe if you took your thumb out of your ass you could type a real response.
ummm... how to put this... get a life. the end
Typical Yankees fans, facing any comment against their team with belittling comments you'd hear on the playground. If you guys want your opinions heard, develop a sense of humor and get your own website.