Girls, Girls, Girls

Your questions were fan freaking tastic, but some of us girls reading it feel the need to express our concerns about number 11. We don't know what you're talking about. Maybe it's because we're all sluts over here, but there are girls making the first move.

You all on this site are absolutely side-splitting fucking hilarious! Your points are so incredibly valid, I couldn't have stated them any better myself. I, being a female myself, completely agree we are by far the most complicated of species, buy I could indefinitely think of a few mind-boggling questions for men....
Why is it necessary to burp in public? Do you think some random person will come pat you on the back or slap a high five? Bet it won't be me.
Why do men wear their boxers down to tattered shreds closely resembling a loincloth? Go out and get that $7 freakin 3-pack!
On the subject of underwear...what the fuck is so intrigueing about Taz on the front of your boxers? Nothing's sexier than a hairy jibberish-speaking rabid animal pasted on your crotch.
Why do we always have to tell you why we're mad? If males are so incredibly smart, you'd think they'd recognize we SAW you looking up that girl's skirt or sneaking a peak at the college football game on the big screen in the bar while we're explaining our in-depth feelings on abortion.
Just a few little questions I have for the ever-so-brilliant male species.

Caitlin

Brilliant....absolutely brilliant. Another question is why can't girls understand a guys need to go out with his boys to a strip club or a bar or have a poker night??? Keep up the good work

This was the 2nd column I've read so far, and my gut's going to be aching for the next week! Great job :) I'll be stopping back after I heal...

Um, about number 9...a touchdown is actually worth 6 points. You only get 7 if you kick the extra point after making the touchdown...and if you run the ball instead of kicking it, you get two points. It's simple...what's the problem?

Heheh. Yes: I absolutely adore being a subject of mystery to the men around me. In reference to a few choice comments in your collumn, I feel the need to elaborate for those of you men who are worked up about the severe differences between our genders.
-why so much money for seemingly one-time use items or simple clothing? Ask yourself a question. Which girl would your eye be drawn to: one wearing a pair of cotton granny-panties, or one wearing a full black lace garder belt, g-string, and pure silk nylons? We like to please you, guys.
-why do girls feel the need to make you guess why we're mad? Personally, it has become a game for us. I'm letting out a world wide secret, guys. Nothing is better than watching you squirm. It's cute.
-how can girls have a bad relationship with their father? Two words for you, fellas. "Mamma's Boy"
-why can't it be "Yes" or "No"? Does every decision you make always demand an imediate commitment? So we like to consider pros and cons: sue us. To understand this better, examine the mainly male ritual of "channel surfing"
-Does a period really last 5-7 days? Even though I know this is a joke, I still wish to comment. You try being a female for a month: see how happy you are during that week.
-and finally, in regards to the very first comment in your article: does size matter? I suggest you ask yourself that question, fellas. Guys are FAR more preoccupied with size than women. In a side point, both men and women come in a virtually endless aray of sizes and shapes, so why is it that all the god-like actors/singers/and athletes are never seen with a woman who wears a 14?

Nice article, though.. hehe. Oh, and by the way: make sure you get the rules of football correct before you post them to raz us. Nice eye, Kristen.

Hey Justin- the period lasts for 7 days. If we're saying it lasts longer that means the sex we're getting from you isn't that good.
Write that down.

i thought ur article was fucken hilarious. i think its all true. which is what makes it even more funny

Where is here?

I've read what you have written in your other articles, you are well written. Look forward to following your style.
cliffonfarm@aol.com

After several failed attempts to make the first move on guys, I was told (by a guy) that guys don't like it when the girl tries to make the move. I give up!

THis article is funny, but only because the majority of it is so untrue. All of those things are from a guys point of view because all guys do it bitch about everything. THey get mad if you make the first move, they get mad if you pay for the date, and they get mad if you don' dress nice. Oh, and by the way hot girls walk fast to get away from guys like you.

women get one week a month to be bitchy and bossy, why can't guys get 4 sundays a month to just sit and watch football in peace? you get a week, all we're asking is for 4 days. also, if a guy says the game will be over in 2 minutes, it's the equivalent of girls saying they'll be ready to go out in two minutes.

guys don't get mad if girls pay for the date. guys that do get mad are idiots. the reason most guys end up paying is because even if you offer to pay, and we as the guy don't reject your offer, we're viewed as cheapskates. we can't win.

You are the funniest guy ever... and even though some of those things you guys just seem to "not understand" about us women are completely OBVIOUS to us, we still love you guys anyway...
i had a gooood laugh- your writing is awesome

um, every time i make the first move i scare a guy off. you cant win.

and amen on the granny panties point. really, thats the only underwear you can buy at 3/7$. do you like undressing a girl to find white cotton underwear?

I know I wouldnt be scared off if a woman made the first move and I know quite a few other people that wouldnt be either. I would say it's all about the way they think. Most guys I know who would be scared are more traditional and like things to be the way they want them to be. On the other hand, people who wouldn't care who made the first move think more along the lines of whatever happens happens and tradition is all nice, but doesn't have to be the way things are.

As far as the column goes, great job. I'll definatly be sending it out to some friends and keep em coming.

1) height matters, not size.
3) it just works out that way
9) it IS simple -- I get it.
10) lifetime is television for women because men never watch it. do YOU?
11) i have done this. props to the men for doin it ALL the other times.
15) YES IT DOES. AND IT SUCKS AS MUCH AS WE MAKE IT OUT TO. end of story. haha.
20) haha. no comment.
23) because there are cookbooks for that stuff. you can easily look at it and follow the directions as well as we can. i think you're just afraid if you do it, you'll do it better than us and then you will be subjected to bake them from now on.
26) organization, boys.
27) hot girls can't wear hot clothes in winter. stay warm inside.
28) we walk fast so that only the worthy ones will catch up. ha.
30) jealousy factor. and we say it's because of other girls but its just so that you will want to look at us more than other girls.
35) the same thing as other jeans, only they start out lighter than the rest.
36) nice spin on things....haha.

I love you Justin, you are my hero...your articles rock my world!!!

Keep em comin buddy

1. height matters. as for size...women want you to be able to make them come. most women do not come from sex alone. know how to use your tongue and hands and you'll be fine. it's all about the clitoris and g spot.

2. women are communicative beings thats just how we're wired. we want to know you're interested in us

3. I think some women date guys who are dicks because they feel he is more worth it cause they had to really chase him. They probably had assholes for fathers.

4. Women want a symbol of your love that they can have with them all the time.

5. Even today women are socialized to think marriage and kids. They think that if they want sex too much that people will think they are a slut.

6. This I don't understand myself. I personally don't like the guy paying for everything. I prefer to go dutch or trade off.

7. The C word just holds a lot of power my friend. I do like to use it though. I'm trying to reclaim it.

8. Trust me, it's boring sitting around the house. Women want to feel fulfilled.

9. I'm a hockey fan myself.

10. I guess to show women who have fought back.

11. Because they are afraid you will think they are a slut and tell everyone that.

12. Like I said it's drummed into a womens head - your wedding day - the most important day of your life etc. I think it's ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a dress. I'd rather use it to take a trip or buy a stereo system.

13. ok

14. Women are very contemplative.

15. Yes it really does.
Why are guys so freaked out over it?
It's blood, get over it.

16. 2 words - sexual abuse

17. Women just don't want to feel taken for granted.

18. Again women want to communicate.

19. Some do. I loved it as a kid.

20. A lot of women aren't good at letting men know what they need. They think if he can read my mind then he must really love me. It's crap.

21. To be sexy for YOU! It's not our fault women's clothing is so high priced compared to guys.

22. skill my friend

23. They want to have their cake and eat it too. It really is a double standard. I love to cook and bake and yes I still consider myslef to be a feminist.

24. not to me

25. yeah they do, but again they're afraid of the slut stigma

26. self-absorbed

27. under layers of clothes

28. they have places to go and people to see

29. cause they're funny

30. cause women can be so critical of other women. guys aren't like that with other guys

31. yes

32. yes and to look sexy for you

33. all part of looking nice, but afraid to be seen as a slut

34. no

35. ?

36. women and food - a complex psychological issue. so much pressure to be thin. so many women have eating disorders. You're right though more focus on exercise than food would help some.

1.Who says size doesn't matter!Why do u think we are constantly looking at guys feet!
2.I like silver.
3.I dont know ask Derek.
4.Try it and if u still have a girlfriend report back.
5.just a mystery
6.We said independent not rich.
7.because i said so
8.no we dont realize that
9.I like baseball TOO!!!
10.Its their evil plan to take over the world ok.
11.it just works that way
12.just because we dont buy our apparel at the thrift shop behind the liquor store doesnt mean we spend $300
13.we get ure pun note treble ha ha
14.i'll think about it
15.if u had to do it u would be bitching too!!!
16.yes
17.how hard is it to understand make your own damn sandwich?!?
18.your right you arent thinking especially when you wrote this!
19.three deadguys just don't do it for me
20.you should know
21.thats why you need your unfaithful dvd uncut
22. hey i like nine west and you must have missed the secret compartment
23.cause im a girl and your a guy must i say more!!!
24.how can it be considered relaxing going to a football party and every five seconds having to get up and chug beer or bang bellies!
25. perv
26.just a mystery
27.we fly south
28.to get away from guys like u
29.whats wrong with watching the bachelerette at least we dont watch the hillary duff movie non-stop.
30.because idf we didnt worry we would end up with guys like u
31.u should youre the one obsessed with luv actually.
32.how o u kno we spend $70 on underwear
33.why do ask about underwear and bathingsuits so much???
34.yeah and u dont really want to kno where the charger goes.
35. i wouldnt kno i can only wear the same outfit once!!! i mean its only $70!!!
36.wel why do men worry about satying buff all the time?!?

You are my hero. Yes I am a girl, and yes I am reading this column months later but hey at least it got to me. After reading these questions I don't think I understand girls either concidering i always use the "c-word" non-stop, i absolutely LOVE football and grew up on it(go Pats) okay what am I if I can't answer any of these questions? ::eyebrows of fury::well except for the purse thing. its like in anamaniacs its the neverending bag of crap, you see there is no actual bottom, its endless! love ya

1. that one midget from austin powers was dating a pretty hot model
2. not all silence is bad.. its the awkward slience we hate
3. no..but just like guys, we all want what we cant have
4. thats like asking you.. hey why would you want a new sound system when i could get you this ADORABLE pair of matching sandals and wallet?!
5. the last thing i wanna think about is baby names..all i want is sex
6. because they offer. if you didnt offer, you wouldnt have to pay!
7. okay the c-word is different. guys say dick all the time like its no big deal..like you say to your friend hey you dick stop that! do you ever hear us say omg you cunt, cut it out.. didnt think so
8. be happy we work.. otherwise we'd be spending that much more of your money
9. i know more girls who understand football than guys who understand volleyball
10. they are about the women getting beat yet overcoming the situation.. that channel sucks anyway, the only women who watch it are 50 years and older
11. well first of all, we like when guys make the first move because it shows us you want us.. we will occasionally make the first move.. if we're horny enough i guess..
12. when is the last time you went to a wedding and everyone was saying "wow look how beautiful the groom looks.. he's just stunning" yeah exactly, WE are the center of attention, not you.. get over it
13. we understand
14. the same reason guys always answer with "i dunno"
15. uh yEAh it really lasts that long.. do you think we LIKE bleeding for a fuckin week?!!
16. are you kidding me? fixing a pool? wow.. dont strain yourself doing the impossible.. gimme a break
17. whats impossible to understand about the words "just a sec honey, im almost dont with my hair"
18. i dunno maybe we were hoping that SOMEThing intelligent was running across your mind for once..
19. probably because there IS no humor..
20. because we are mad and we dont want to think about what ever dumbass thing you did to piss us off
21. we spend $30 on underwear to make you happy
22. we're fuckin magical
23. because if we wanted to fix the engine you wouldnt let us
24. it just is
25. yeah so what id we think with our vaginas for 10% of the time.. its not 99% of the time like guys
26. becuase we have purses for a reason.. we dont just throw change in our pockets like you guys
27. the same place all the hot guys go
28. to avoid nasty creepy guys who try to hit on us
29. because its fun to rip on them
30. we dont dress to impress girls, we dress to get guys' attention
31. no they arent
32. no.. to look hot on the beach
33. dont know, im not prude.. i like to show my best stuff ;)
34. what??
35. ...nothing..
36. who has ever not eaten for a month??

1. Think of the odds! I mean…about .01% of the population are supermodels…and like 1.2% of the population are midgets. (don’t quote me on that…statistics is not my strong point). Maybe it’s just because a supermodel and a midget have never met. I’ve only met one midget in my life.
2. I prefer my silence as well. But if I get bored…might as well talk, am I right? Anyway…I’d rather be joking and laughing and such then just sitting there.
3. No. Dicks piss me off. I prefer funny guys.

4. That’s actually a good idea, now that you mention it. Or maybe an engagement hot tub. I’ve never really been one for jewelry. I am sort of a sucker for tradition though.
5. I have no clue about that one.
6. I wouldn’t want to wound a guy’s manly-ego by daring to dip into my purse to help pay for the meal. If you want to split the cost of a date with me…speak up! I’ve got a job for a reason.

7. I think this might have to do with the fact that guys are constantly calling each other things like dick-wad, shit-face, dumb-fuck and such, that they get de-sensitized to it. I mean, how many girls do you see going out with their friends calling each other cunts?
8. Dunno about that one. Maybe it’s connected to the fact that no job meant no money. I know you would counter that with, “but the man is expected to bring home the bacon/pay for the date/etc” but if I woman wanted to live by herself…she was pretty much out of options.
9. I think that’s just lack of interest. I bet you could learn ballet if you gave it some effort, but I think you would rather not. I get annoying when my friends don’t understand basketball…it’s the same thing.
10. God I hate lifetime, women’s network, women’s tv…but I do know the answer to your question. Women like to see those beat down movies because it is about the triumph she has at the end. Ex: My husband beat me up, my house burned down, my daughter had a baby at 14…but I wrote my novel and got a new house and a doctor husband…cue success music”

11. The reason I never have is because I’m to nervous. I asked a guy to dance once and I nearly swallowed my tongue.

12. That pisses me off too. Let me guarantee you though, if a woman tried to buy a wedding dress for 75$, she’d most likely end up looking like trailer trash. It’s not our fault the dresses are expensive.

13. Noted.

14. Gives the girl time to decide whether you deserve a yes or a no. It’s a grace period. Keep her happy and you’ll get your yes. I hate mind games like that. It reminds me of when you’d ask your parents for something and the answer was always “maybe”…GAH!
15. Mine usually lasts about 3-4 days. I know a few people who usually have it longer though. The whole 5-7 is usually the time when you feel funky. I know it sounds like bull shit to say we have a right to be in a bad mood cuz of the period…but whoo boy. It is the weirdest feeling in the world to want to kill the next thing that walks by, cry for a week, fuck anything with a dick, and just take a

fucking nap…all the while craving chocolate…all rolled into one. I never liked biology anyway.
16. I have a wonderful relationship with my dad. We watch basketball together, swap jokes, watch comedians, and listen to good music. Not shit music….good music.

17. Probably just as hard as, “Not tonight dear, I have a headache.” Personally, I understand the need to finish one thing before getting to the next.

18. “What are you thinking” is a space filling question to me. Girls who actually want to know the answer to that question are invading the person space of one’s skull.

19. There are people out there who do not like the Three Stooges have no sense of humor and should be poked in the eyes. Same with people who do not like Monty Python.

20. God…my friends do that to me too. I think it may just be an excuse so you can stay mad at someone longer…makes you feel good about yourself to be mad at someone else…sickening…

21. Look. If you want the lacey thong, sexy black/red/purple thing on page 23 of the victoria’s secret catalog, it’s gonna cost a bit more. If you want your girl’s strip tease to end in a pair of tightie whitie’s…be my guest.

22. Did you ever see Mary Poppins? She fit a hat stand into a carpet bag…I wanna know how she did that. My friend can fit 3 days worth of clothing and supplies into a bag that would get filled with my sneakers…I don’t think I was born with that gene.

23. I like the bake. I don’t like to clean. Most of the guys I met like to fix things. I dunno if that clears anything up…but that’s all I can think of.

24. I hate shopping. I’d rather go see a good movie.

25. That’s why I went to see “The Prince and Me”. Would have enjoyed that movie just as much if it was in Japanese with german subtitles.

26. Those people annoy me too. Either have the change receptacle ready or put it in your pocket like a normal person.

27. Under sweaters.

28. So ugly guys can’t catch up.

29. Have you seen the men they usually have in those shows?? Anyway…I find those shows annoying and pointless…I’d rather be enjoying some Lewis Black.

30. I don’t.

31. LoL. Yes. But Hugh Grant is one delicious older gentleman. Do guys realize that pretty much 98% of all sex scenes are exactly alike? Probably. Do they care? Hell no!

32. Like you’d be thrilled if you went to the beach/pool and every girl there was covered up in a shroud instead of sporting something skimpy and flattering. You know what I don’t understand? Why you have to pay more for less material. The smaller the underwear or bathing suit gets…the more expensive it is. Fucking screwed up.

33. Probably the same reason guys buy 150$+ sports/track sneakers that they plan to wear in between the couch and the fridge.

34. Dunno. Don’t wear sunglasses, usually.

35. I’ve been wondering the same thing. Maybe they become shorts. Or get recycled at some big factory.

36. Good question. Again…dunno.

whoa,a lot of girls responded to this-and in intense detail! good job justin, you must be the man. or all the pie's think you're the man. either way you must have left a category out because i fit into none of these...add some more so i can feel like the rest of these bitches.

15. yeah we do, so fucking what?

PS when your girlfriend is being a bitch dont ever say to her "oh its just PMS" or "are you PMSing?" cause then she'll b pissed...expecially if she really is PMSing

Yeah. Broads sure are dumb.

man...girls are way to fucking complicated...I hate them. and, uh...people who can't take a joke need to kiss my ass. its a joke. laugh. then take the stick out of your ass...k, im done now.

1. That is a lie. Size does matter. Sorry boys :/

5. Just cuz I want to have a baby SOMEday, doesn't mean I want one NOW, or with the drunk guy at the party I'm at currently.

6. They don't. At least not with me. Unless Im broke and you're the one with the job, the reason for that is only logical...

8. I dunno man, im lost here too...

12. 5,000 dollars? fuck that shit.

15. yes. guys are such lucky little fucks...

16. That depends on if she said "why don't you love me?" or "baby, the house is on fire." I'm gonna trust your judgement on this one.

18. Am I the only girl in the world that gets asked this by the GUY? what the fuck...sometimes, i'm singing the theme song to whatever show is currently on...do you REALLY want to know that?

20. Its more fun that way :)

21. Do you really wanna finally get into that hott girls pants to see some nasty old cotton underwear with faded daisies on it? come on...this one is not hard...

22. I hate purses, it I have more than can fit in my pocket, I need a WAY bigger bad then some dinky lil purse, or I just shove it in my backseat.

23. fuck moping. I'll bake you a pie if you want. and if you wanna teach me how to fix an engine, i'll do that too.

24. wtf is a yokel?

25. So true...but fuck Heath Ledger...what a pansy.

27. they are replaced by "cute girls" for some reason you're not allowed to be hot unless a certain percentage of skin is showing, and the only girls doing that in winter are still not "hott" they are just "skanky." dont worry, they'll come back *pats head*

28. to get away from that creepy guy in her english class that keeps asking for her number.

35. I dunno...how can you tell? don't they start out worn-out? WHAT THE FUCK! HOW DO YOU KNOW!?

36. Anarexia's a bitch man...little queers...

wow... fuck you... that was the damn gayest article I have ever read in my damn entire life... and you don't know what a damn fucking period is like.. and for your damn information it is longer than 4 days. and we aren't exagerating.... your a bitch who probally wrote this out of self-pity because you have never had a girlfriend.

You need to get a life.. and why in the helll would we spend 50$ fucking dollars on underwear thats just gay shit.. sorry we don't go through our money buying underwear.. half the population probally doesn't even wear underwear.

and sometimes it is a fashion show come here and see.. and guys do think o will the guys like it.. becuase they don't want to get made fucking fun of you douche.. ovibouslly you woudln't know.

and football is just flat out gay.. so why would we want to know what that shit means. and sorry we don't think out of our vagina bitch. and you over did it on the purse situation.. we might carry make up and a wallet but we don't carry a damn first aid kid.. shows how much you know. O yeah and maybe a tampon for the 3 seconds we spend of bleeding for what you think.

and a tux doesn't cost 75$ unless you get it on the damn corner of harry hines.. its at least going to cost a couple of hundreds you bitch.. your never going to get married.

and lifetime movies aren't about girls getting beaten.. maybe sit down one time with your imaginary girlfriend and watch one.

and sorry we don't sit on our asses all day picking out baby names.. and don't want to get pregnant.

and guys are suppose to pay for everything no matter what.. if a girl pays then his ass is getting dumped thats bullshit and trash.

and why in the fuck would we want a damn surround sound for a engagment thing.. we would rather have a damn ring.

wow shows how much you know of girls.. I bet you have never had a girlfriend have you??

you need a good life lesson..

you are a damn hooker with no life.. wow....

YOUR A FAGGGGGGGOT!

i'm not gonna even waste my breath with a long reply to such an ignorant asshole who obviously has no idea how to get a girl & keep her so decides to bitch about it online.

I'm a chick,I happen to agree with alot of your stuff And no, I'm not a lesbian.I happen to like the frank and beans!Ha-Ha!I'm actually a nice hottie that gets fucked over alot because I'm either too nice or one of the guys.So, I feel your pain.I love your picture giving the finger! Heidi

I just love how every girl who responded to your questions is a self-pronounced 'hot girl.' No, you are not a Big Beautiful Woman. You are a fat bitch. Stop eating and get off the damn couch.:)

I think your articles are awesome. Keep up the good work

so basically you're hilarious. to the girls who've posted below me: who cares? its funny as fuck, and if you dont want to hear it then dont read the damn column. so its not all completely accurate, but its sure as hell true enough to be funny.

1. Obviously You Don't Know Who Jason Acu?a Is.

2. Girls Only Like Gold When It Is In There Hands Given By A Rich Actor and/or Lawyer.

3. The Reason Girls Go Out With Guys That Are Dicks Is Because 99.9% Of The Male Population Are Either Dicks, Starwars Nerds,
Or Burn Outs That Would Not Reconize A Twenty Dollar Bill If Tom Cruise Shoved It Up There Ass.

4. Based On The Theory That Girls Hate All Other Girls Besides There Best Friends (Which Happens To Be Completely Right) Girls What To Show Off To Other Girls Which They Hate Proving They Are Better Than Them. Now If You Want To Strap A Big Screen To Your Back With Surround Sound And Carry It Around All Day So We Can Show It Off Be My Guest. Wouldent A Ring Be A Tad Easier.

5. What Do You Think Sperm Banks Are For?

6. Just Because Are We Are Independent Dose'nt Mean We Are Stupid. If Guys Are Still Stupid Enough To Pay For Are Shit Then Damn It We Will Buy It.

7. Why Is It When A White Person Calls Someone A Nigger Its A Huge Deal And Black People Call White People Crackers Every Ten Seconds Of There Lives. Some Questions Just Go Unanswered.

8. Hey If You Want To Stay Home With Those Damn Kids Its Your Choice.

9. Its Simple. You Turn On The Washer, But In The Soap While Its Filling Wait Till Its Completely Filled, Add Clothes, Don't Mix Colors With Whites, But Dont Over Fill It, Make Sure It Drains, Make Sure There Is An Extra Rinse, Switch To The Dryer, Make Sure No Delicates Get Mixed With The Normal, Take Out, Iron And Fold. Whats The Problem?

10. If Spike Is A Network For Men Then Why Is It Always About Men Getting Laid And Shot To Death. Wow Just Kidding I Understand Perfectly Now.

11. One Short And Sweet Answer. AIDS.

12. Yeah Actually We Did. It Was The Same Day All The Men Missed The "How Not To Be A Showoffy Jackass" Class.

13. There Is A HUGE Difference Between PMS And Anger From Stupid Husbands. Dont Take Note Because Your Dumbass Will Forget Anyway.

14. Why Must Men Always Conclude There Sentence By Taking A Sip Of Beer And Saying "Dunno."

15. If You Could Have an Excuse To Sit On Your Ass All Day and Eat Chocolate You Would Use It Wouldent You.

16. Well At Least You Had A Pool Fatass.

17. What So Hard About The Pharse '' Put Your Dishes Away"

18. Dont Give Me That "Oh Im Not Thinking About Anything At All" I Might Be The Only Girl THat Knows The Truth. All Guys Think About Is Porn, Beer, Sex, And Dinner. Dont Try To Deny It.

19. Actually I Own The Three Stooges 30th Aniversary Movie. But Shh Thats Are Little Secret.

20. Its Like A Sport To Us. Don't Mock That.

21. The Same Reason You Can Spend 100 Dollars on Red Sox Memorabilia.

22. It's A Gift. I Actually Think I Lost A Wild Dog In There Once When I Went Camping.

23. Lets Make A Deal. I'll Clean Fix The Damn Engine If You Will Watch The Kids And Cook Dinner For 3 Weeks. Yeah Thats What I Thought.

24. Its All In The Fun. Besides I Hate Most Other Woman In Shopping Malls And Running Over There Jimmy Choo Heel With My Shopping Cart Just Brings Me A Bountiful Amount Of Joy.

25. Hey Buddy, Girls Arent The Ones Getting Ass Drunk And Banging A Stripper Named Layla. Think About That.

26. Call Me What You Please But The Second I Get My Hands On Change I Throw It At The Nearest Minority. The Only Useful Thing Use Can Do With A Quarter Is Get Those Cool Rings Out Of Those Machines In Front Of Kass N' Karry.

27. California, Europe, Florida, And The Beaches Of Mexico.

28. So They Can Finish There Conversation With That Ugly Guy.

29. Some Things Are Just To Stupid To Miss.

30. Girls Hate Other Girls. Having A Cuter Outfit Than That Slut Next To You Is Like Banging A Hotter Girl Than That Other Guy. Its Makes You Fell Better And It's Fun To Brag About.

31. Only The Ones That Aren't Drunk While Watching It.

32. To Piss Off Guys Like You.

33. Why Not?

34. Blame Nicole Richie.

35. What Do You You Say To Layla The Next Time You See Her?

36. I Couldent Agree More.

P.S You Kiss Much Ass Justin

To all the girls complaining about this article: are you completely incapable of taking a joke (and proofreading your comments so you don't come off sounding like a huge ass)? Besides the fact that most of what he wrote is true to some extent, what isn't true is called being sarcastic and making a joke, ever hear of that? Guys have a hard time understanding girls just like we have a hard time understanding guys, it sucks, but it's the nature of like, and silly articles like this are just that, silly and amusing. All your bitching and calling him a fag is just proving his point 100% and making the rest of us girls who can take a joke and enjoy football as well as a chick flick seem like the bitch you probably are.