>>> Deer Court
By staff writer Court (the deer)
February 4, 2004

“Deer” Court,

I was just curious how a white tail big buck manages life in the city. You see, I go to WVU and frequently drive through Charleston. It is quite a large city….for being in West Virginia, and I can't imagine a deer surviving in that sort of environment.

Yours,
Mary-Louise
Morgantown, WV

Dear Mary-Louise,

Mary-Louise…boy that's a pretty name ain't it? It sure is good of you to shoot off that there email instead of your shotgun Miss Mary! I reckon I might of asked you to be mine, but looks like I already caught your affection!


Above: Darren's always fooling around on business trips!

You see how I adapted to your Morgantown culture without sacrificing any of the authenticity? That's exactly what I do when I go into the city to work. I put on my metropolitan face, shine up the tips of my antlers and strut with the big wigs at Danskin. Now, granted, I am the only one actually wearing a wig, but this has no effect on how seriously I am taken in the city because of one thing: confidence. That's right, you could be a baby chimpanzee, a Sumatran rhinoceros, a giant anteater, or a white tail big buck…as long as you believe in yourself you can do anything you put your mind to. I consult hundreds of suede manufacturing clients every year and not one of them has ever said, “Hmm, has it ever occurred to you that you are a deer?” And you know why? Because when this corporate Charleston environment gets tough as leather, I walk on all fours with my head held high, and a small piece of poop hanging from my behind.

Let this be a lesson to you college students: never give up your dream. If a white tail big buck can commute to work on foot every day, write a popular email column from the forest, and still find time to take his fawns off the beaten nature paths, then you can at least get C's or something!

Sincerely,
Court (the deer)

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