By staff writer JD Boston

An offbeat, laugh-out-loud look at the finer points of college life from the inappropriate mind of a cynical Bostonian.

Article Archives | Start at: 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003

December 2006

Casual Misanthropy: The Finale | 12-20-06
He leaves with one more final fuck you, but hey, even a backhanded compliment is still an attempt to reach out to you.


November 2006

Five People You Meet in Hell | 11-15-06
Hell is full of realtors, Blockbuster employees, and bouncers. Not like you wanted to wait in line for warm, overpriced beer anyway.

An IM from Jesus | 11-8-06
The Lord works in mysterious ways. His Son, however, is fond of Instant Messenger… and I’m not talking about Gabriel.

‘Tis NOT the Season | 11-1-06
Enough with the holiday foreplay. No matter how hard you try to stretch it out, Christmas still only comes once a year.


October 2006

Boy Meets World: A Sitcom Retrospective | 10-18-06
Ben Savage isn’t dead because he will forever live in JD’s heart. He also just plain isn’t dead… can’t say the same for his career.

Down with Country Music | 10-4-06
Certain music wasn’t meant to be popular, but somebody forgot to send out that telegraph. See you at Gettysburg for round two.


September 2006

Freedom of Depress | 9-27-06
Lady Justice may be blind, but she can still smell a scandal. Government heavyweights are tipping the scales against the little guy.

You Can Quote Me on This | 9-20-06
If you’re going to quote a movie, at least do it right. Keep it short, fresh, and be sure to pay the appropriate dues to the screenwriter.

Popping the Pill Problem | 9-13-06
The truth may be hard to swallow, but your anxiety and depression are all in your head. Life is hard… thanks to the little blue pill.

Corey Petero is a National Hero | 9-6-06
What kind of world doesn’t let a man decimate punk kids who have it coming? Forget felony charges, give Cory Petero the game ball.


August 2006

An Interview with Bill O’Reilly | 8-30-06
A dueling of half-wits commences as humorist faces “responsible” journalist. You decide which one to take more seriously.

Dumbing Down the NFL | 8-23-06
Football players aren’t the brightest guys, which makes them the perfect targets to be MOCK… YEAH… ING… YEAH… BIRD… YEAH.

JD’s Guide to Parenting | 8-16-06
Get pregnant if you must, but don’t rule out abortion until you’ve developed a strong backhand. Kids these days can really play ball.

Taking Liberty with the First Amendment | 8-7-06
Thanks to folks like Mel Gibson, we are reminded of important caveats to the First Amendment like, “Anything said while drunk is allowed.”


July 2006

A Special Sorry for the Ladies | 7-30-06
Look ladies, we’re sorry that you’re dysfunctional, overweight crybabies with self-esteem issues. Let’s see them tittays!

MySpace: Facebook’s Gay Cousin | 7-12-06
One hard look at MySpace’s backwards design, flamboyant layouts, and girly profiles, and you might start to feel like the perverted uncle.

Graduate Schooled | 7-2-06
If you thought college was hard, wait until you graduate. Enjoy the experience before it’s obvious you don’t have any.


June 2006

It’s the End of the World As We Know It | 6-14-06
Some say the world will end in fire, some say ice. Compared to living with James Blunt and Blue Collar Comedy, both of those sound nice.


May 2006

Hung Up on a Horse | 5-31-06
Barbaro’s a professional athlete who’s living it easy, minus one broken leg. The only pasture he’s taken out to is full of nubile mares.

Dunkin’ DOH! Nuts | 5-24-06
When your commercial is so annoying that people boycott your $2.99 steak, you know you’ve made a bad decision. BANKRUPTSAY-YEAH!

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Suck | 5-17-06
ESPN used to be the champion of balanced sports coverage. Ahh, there’s nothing sadder than watching an old competitor let himself go.

The War on Rudeness | 5-10-06
Would it kill you to say “thank you” after asking for the time while setting the clock on your bomb? Learn some manners, you terrorist.

Politics in Moderation 101 | 5-3-06
Liberals and conservatives, it’s time to chill out and find the middle of the road. We’ll pray that a newspaper truck hits you with its issues.


April 2006

The Exhausting Demise of Summer Movies | 4-26-06
The time is ticking, and summer’s almost here. If you’re one to have a short fuse, you’re probably up in arms over Hollywood’s bombs.

Vicious Cycles | 4-19-06
Even if your bike was a two-seater, you’d still be riding solo. Trade in your pity-pedaler for a 6-cylinder, or keep it and be gay, pegboy.

The Downside of Seniority | 4-12-06
It’s your last year in college and the pressure is on. Even if you make it out alive, you’re going to need health insurance to keep it that way.

40-Year-Old Virgins | 4-2-06
The spring baseball season gets a little help from Steve Carell’s comedy classic. Get your game on, and quit propping up Johnny Damon’s cock.


March 2006

The Notebook of Love | 3-5-06
Down-to-earth, hot-body Rachel McAdams has JD wondering what he wouldn’t give to give it to her. Anything for love, apparently.


February 2006

Rumble 2 Gumbel |
2-26-06
Is Bryant Gumbel wrong for not acknowledging white Olympians? Yes, and other responses to taboo questions of sports and race.

The Masturbation Manual | 2-19-06
Research shows more orgasms per week equals lower mortality. So, here’s how to masturbate all day long: in class, at work, at home, etc.

Brokeback Mountain: A Mature and Open-Minded Review | 2-12-06
Hollywood’s latest love affair is slow, hyped-up, and of course, totally homosexual. Should you buy in to the blockbuster gayness?


January 2006

Opening Day of Class | 1-18-06
The all-important first day back. When everyone meets the people, professors, and policies they’ll regret for the rest of the semester.

2005 Dumbshit of the Year | 1-1-06
The first annual awards show you’ll literally feel like shit for winning! Dishonorable mentions like Kanye West included. And the winner is…


December 2005

The Eight-Day Itch | 12-21-05
Doctors have yet to diagnose a condition worse than an itchy asshole. Now one man reveals his struggle to overcome this deep dark secret.

Ten Things I Don’t Understand About Black People | 12-11-05
The N-word, pig’s feet, D.L. Hughley, expensive shoes…there’s just a lot of stuff that still confuses your average white person.


November 2005

Forty Dollars…With a Vengeance | 11-28-05
Put on your lawyer’s hat, it’s time to decide who’s at fault for missing cash: stoners, or old people. Caution, ambiguous ethics at work.

Ben Feder is a Douchebag | 11-20-05
Someone at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst forgot to teach their worst journalist what plagiarism is. Enter JD Boston, TA.

Best Friends for Never | 11-13-05
Earth to females: you don’t have the best friends in the world. In fact, you probably have unspoken beef with your petty, annoying BFF’s.


October 2005

I Love the 80’s Too: But Enough is Enough | 10-30-05
Whatever you love—the 70’s, the 80’s, the 90’s, the future, 3D television—rest assured VH1 is working hard to make it mediocre.

Doggy-Steps: My Emotional Journey | 10-23-05
In the past, infomercials were all but useless crap. Enter Doggy-Steps, the only product guaranteed to tap your Achilles pet heel and wallet.


September 2005

Lowering the Bar | 9-25-05
How to design a bar that will piss JD off: charge a $10 cover to watch infomercials on TV while big-breasted bartenders serve $5 Buds.

RELATED:  MySpace: Facebook's Gay Cousin

You Write Columns Like a Girl! | 9-18-05
Two nostalgic sports movies, Sandlot and Rookie of the Year go head to head by comparison. ESPN Classic, meet Ebert and Roeper.


August 2005

Well Blow Me Down: Hurricane Katrina Coverage!|8-31-05
Throw political correctness to the wind, because when disaster hits, JD is here to drown out the sensitive and revive the humorous.

Madden 2006: A Totally Sane and Rational Review | 8-21-05
If EA Sports continues making new football video games as hard as this one, you’re gonna have to put your fingers through spring training.

Kicking It Off Old School | 8-14-05
Predictions, analyses, and bitch slappings handed out for the upcoming NFL season, guided by classic quotes from the movie Old School.

Cellular Deficiency | 8-7-05
Camera phones, flip phones, walkie talkie phones, AIM phones…is there any such thing as a regular WORKING phone anymore? ‘Cause I’ll buy it.


July 2005

Be Seated | 7-24-05
Finally ladies, a man who undoubtedly will leave the seat down—not just for you, but for himself. Some guys just can’t pee standing up.

Censorship Attacks PIC! | 7-17-05
A Casual Misanthropy exclusive, featuring a behind-the-scenes look at an attempt by The Man to bring JD’s “tabloid smut” to a halt.

The Ten Worst Songs of All Time | 7-3-05
Our official survey says 85% of readers would rather listen to a band of 4-year-olds playing cheese graters with forks than hear these songs.


June 2005

NASCAR Sucks | 6-19-05
It’s the South’s race against futility, but unfortunately, these drivers are going nowhere fast. At least they’re not pulling their mobile homes.

I’m Lovin’ It | 6-5-05
McDonald’s may be swirling with greasy rumors and bad press, but the fact remains that delicious food deserves a clogged place in our heart.


May 2005

Where’s Charlie’s Angels 3? A Summer Movie Preview
| 5-22-05
Once again, it’s Hollywood’s time to shine in the summer blockbuster spotlight. And of course, JD’s turn to rain on
their parade.

I Hate This Game! | 5-15-05
What’s over-hyped, disappointingly predictable, and occasionally out of control? The NBA of course, despite ESPN’s unfailing devotion.

The Perils of Pussy | 5-8-05
If dogs are a man’s best friend, it only makes sense that cats are a man’s worst enemy. Now watch these kittens get shot down.

20 Ways to Please Your Man | 5-1-05
From the world-renowned author of the proverbial book of love comes the highly-authoritative manual for stimulation. Aka, The J Spot.


April 2005

This Column Won’t Open, Try F5 to Refresh | 4-25-05
Nothing says “technology is a bitch” like all the broken features on your computer. Wireless connection? More like endless rejection.

Do You Believe in Miracles? | 4-17-05
The story of JD’s Friday final comes alive with the unlikely sounds of puking, shitting, unpreparedness, and amazing clarity. Believe it.

Fever Pitch: A Fair and Unbiased Review | 4-10-05
Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon team up for a movie about as exciting as watching a pitcher’s duel on TV. Oh right, unbiased…


March 2005

Face to Facebook | 3-27-05
It’s okay to be obsessed, as long as you can come face to Facebook with your addiction. Now poke around this handbook a little.

The Vegas Diaries | 3-6-05
Ahh, Spring Break in Vegas. Perfect time to start documenting all your activities (sins) in a daily journal.


February 2005

Oscar and a Grouch | 2-25-05
If Academy Awards were handed out solely on the basis of hotness, non-gayness, and movie synopses, you could count on these picks.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes | 2-20-05
It’s the pinnacle of change. The ultimate in transformation of identity. No, not a sex change silly, a new screen name!

Chick Notes: A Guide to Understanding Women | 2-14-05
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, it’s the Cliff Notes for wooing your sweetheart into a dizzy love trance. (Barry White CD not included.)

JD’s Super Bowl Preview Show | 2-6-05
A rundown on TO hype, a new kind of halftime disaster, the potential for rioting, and a lop-sided victory already in the works.


January 2005

Webshots: The God Awful Galleries | 1-30-05
The newest waste of space to hit the Internet also happens to be the most popular place to share your digital pics. Coincidence? I think not.

Judge JD’s Second Court of Bitchslap | 1-23-05
It’s time to put celebs in the spotlight on trial again. Ashlee Simpson, Barry Bonds, Bill O’Reilly and more. Who will get bitchslapped this time?!

Beating a Dead Horse | 1-17-05
Attention Colt’s fans who bet against the Patriots: time to pony up and re-evaluate your thoroughbred. Yep, Peyton Manning failed once again.

Mighty Ducks: The Holy Trilogy | 1-9-05
Most people could skate by calling Lord of the Rings or Back to the Future their favorite trilogy. But JD’s got the Flying V for you.


December 2004

St. JD’s Holiday Spectacular! | 12-19-04
Call it the backlash of Christmas overload, but there’s nothing saintly about this new holiday, December 26th.

A Day Late and a Column Short | 12-17-04
Okay, a lot of days late and a column fulfilled. But hey, punctuality is only for people who can’t make up excuses worth reading.

Music Video Strikes a New Low | 12-5-04
John Cougar Mellencamp has a new video with a message: embrace your fellow midgets. If you can stoop that low without laughing.


November 2004

A Smorgasbord of Leftovers | 11-28-04
You thought you had Thanksgiving leftovers? Wait ’til you see the pile of misanthropy JD’s been saving for this little joke buffet.

Casual Misanthropy Ultimate DVD Edition! | 11-21-04
Self-indulgence reaches an all-time high! And now you can own it all on this beautifully-edited, high-definition, collector’s DVD!

PIC Behind the Column: JD Boston | 11-14-04
Celebrities, columnists, God, and fictional narrators alike weigh in on the troubled and angst-filled life that spilled over onto the Internet.

Casual Melodrama | 11-7-04
For lack of daytime soaps at PIC, we’ve introduced catfighting over column feedback. It’s sort of a cathartic read, really.


October 2004

I Wanna Sox You Up | 10-31-04
The Red Sox have finally done it, and JD can come out of his superstitious hole in style. Not that we believe in Curses.

You Drive Me Crazy | 10-24-04
Road rage? Late to work? Sexually frustrated? Blame it on the bad drivers of America, including women, old people, and minivan-drivers.

This Column May Cause Drowsiness | 10-17-04
The only thing worse than chronic allergies? Terminal illness. Although after enough sore throats you might feel like dying.

A Year in the Life: A Tribute to Casual Misanthropy’s Readers| 10-10-04
50 articles, 1 year, and countless tense, comedic, and controversial moments later, it’s time to reflect on you, the outspoken reader.

This Column No Comply | 10-3-04
When connecting your computer to a wireless router requires 4 hours of infuriating technical support, you’ve hit a big NO COMPLY.


September 2004

Yeah, I’ve Been Drinking | 9-26-04
Dear Reader, please excuse this column from any incoherence…and from PE. It has been feeling clumsy, awkward, and unathletic.

And the Emmy Goes To… | 9-19-04
Yes, they still have awards even when TV is at its most pitiful. And JD still has wild, often irrational opinions on who should win them.

What’s in a Name? | 9-12-04
Common sense and pronunciation lose all meaning when it comes to getting other people to identify you correctly.

Bush-Whacked! | 9-5-04
You’ve heard all the rhetoric, taken P. Diddy’s advice, and resigned yourself to a vote for Kerry, right? Now change your mind!

RELATED:  Bush-Whacked!

August 2004

Tha Dafinitiv Gyde to Colege Riting | 8-29-04
Are you immature? Can you embellish the truth and reference the 90’s with ease? Then you’re on the write track to college humor stardom.

Let the Lame Begin! | 8-22-04
Six reasons this year’s Summer Olympics make you proud to change the channel. Give or take that underage fox, Carly Patterson.

Celebrating 21 Years: A Retrospective | 8-15-04
A year-by-year recap of the mind-blowing events and circumstances that shaped the life you now know as “Casual Misanthropy.”

He Was Rick James, Bitch | 8-7-04
A special tribute to a pop icon of two eras: the Superfreak 80’s and the Dave Chappelle 00’s. We’ll miss you Rick, but your quotes live on.

Run-DNC: Hardcore Coverage of the Democratic National Convention | 8-1-04
JD and special correspondent SmarterChild go on-site in Boston to juice up one of the most politically-correct pep rallies ever.


July 2004

The Greatest Column Never Written | 7-25-04
When you have nothing to say, the best thing to talk about is what could have been. Take that, writer’s block!

Girl Talk | 7-18-04
Why do a lot of guys have difficulty talking to girls? Take any one of the five major causes of brain shutdown including The Hot Girl Effect.

JD Opens His Sack: Special Mailbag Feature! | 7-11-04
Take a fresh look at the unpredictable assortment of emails straight from JD’s mailbox. It’s a spammer’s delight!

For Whom the Bell Tolls | 7-4-04
One fast food restaurant stands tall in the face of an industry rolling over for diet-crazed, fat-obsessed Americans. Think outside the bun.


June 2004

‘Roids and Racism: I’ll Pitch to Barry | 6-27-04
If it’s a war of words Bonds wants with Boston, his latest comment certainly made its way to the right columnist.

The Worst TV Show Ever… EVER! | 6-20-04
FOX Network, you’ve done it again. Just when we thought programming was at its worst, you’ve hit us with a new disgrace: Quintuplets.

Blame Canada | 6-13-04
Thirteen reasons why our northern neighbors are all but useless. Now if only Celine Dion would hit a low note and stay there.

Criminal Lineup: A Shocking Look at Fall TV | 6-6-04
How low will each network stoop to get your attention this fall? Let’s just say FOX hasn’t ruled out “Who Wants to Marry this Goat” yet.


May 2004

Judge JD’s Court of Bitchslap | 5-30-04
Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, and George W. Bush face the harshest and most arbitrary of critics. Who will get bitchslapped?!

It’s a Column About Nothing | 5-23-04
The suckiness of the Friends finale prompts some nostalgia about past sitcom successes and ugly farewells.

How to Do Everything Right | 5-16-04
All the important things you’ve ever needed to learn, summed up in five steps or less. You’re welcome.

The Ten Worst Movies of All Time | 5-9-04
There are a lot of bad movies out there, but these ten are getting a fresh lambasting for good reason. Dishonorable mentions included.

The New Lo-Carb Column! | 5-2-04
America is fat. That’s why we now serve special columns to accommodate, and help enlighten, Atkins jackasses.


April 2004

The Secret Life of My Penis | 4-25-04
Special guest writer, JD’s Penis, takes the wheel for this week’s column. And boy does he give it to you straight.

The Golden Rules of Instant Messenger, Part II | 4-18-04
You’ve read the classic. Now read the addendum. Because there’s no such thing as a flawless buddy.

A Major Problem with College | 4-11-04
No matter what your major is, there are always those who will give it a bad name for you. In fact, here they are, listed neatly…

Super Trooperball | 4-4-04
Baseball is the topic, and with the help of some classic Super Troopers quotes, JD’s got the upcoming season covered in style.


March 2004

The Obscrene Hatred List | 3-28-04
JD’s worst of the worst. The absolute hatreds. The truly obscene and “always in progress” list of repulsive people, places and things.

Don’t Be THAT GIRL | 3-21-04
You know THAT GIRL. In fact, you probably know all ten sizes, shapes, and types of her. And you wonder if she’ll ever learn…

The Blue and the Gay: Why We Should Re-Declare War on the South | 3-14-04
Spring Break in Florida gives way to renewed hatred for everything disgusting and backwards about the South.

It’s Over MTV, Please Move On | 3-7-04
Enough Real World, enough reality shows, it’s time for the worst offender of piss poor network television to go back to its roots.


February 2004

Vote JD in 2004, I Have Political Issues and More | 2-29-04
Ten reasons why you should mark JD Boston at the next election. Guaranteed to either secure your vote or elicit your opinion!

Peevin’ Over Pinstripes, Part Deux | 2-22-04
With A-Rod under the Yankee’s belt, there is renewed inspiration to hate on the most already-hated-on fans in the country.

The Seven Levels of Single | 2-14-04
Sharing Valentine’s Day with yourself? Find out how deeply, and possibly pathetically, your singleness goes.

Say a Prayer for the Youth of America | 2-8-04
If today’s adolescents continue heading down the path of any of the four stereotypes covered here, it’s safe to assume we’re all screwed.

And the Oscar Goes To… | 2-1-04
The most incomplete guide to this year’s awards along with predictions from the most disrespectful voice in college movie reviews.


January 2004

The Love of My Life (Not Named Hilary) | 1-25-04
One man’s obsession with sports turns into a fantasy of sorts. Err, what’s your fantasy… sport? (Rhyming IS hard, Ludacris!)

One Douche To Rule Them All… | 1-18-04
Enough blind praise already, let’s get down to everything horrible about Lord of the Rings.

Don’t Be THAT GUY | 1-4-04
You know THAT GUY. In fact, you probably know all ten types of them. And you’ve hated every minute of their annoying existence.


December 2003

Same Problems, Different Resolutions | 12-28-03
New Year’s resolutions for the sinfully cynical. 2004 might suck, but JD has some surefire ways to make it at least marginally palatable.

Peevin’ Over Pinstripes | 12-21-03
History has been filled with great villains. But for this die-hard Red Sox fan, there is only one enemy that lies within. Within New York that is.

Sleepin’ On the Job | 12-14-03
The highlights (and lowlights) of office life as an intern. At least the parts when you’re awake.

My Love Story… | 12-7-03
There is a love that transcends time and age. An ageless fantasy of passion and change. And she is 16 years old.


November 2003

How To Save Your Best Guy Friend From Becoming Whipped | 11-23-03
Too many guys fall victim to the girlfriend trap, often totally unaware. Now learn ten signs your friend is whipped and help him see the light.

Mainstream Masturbation? Just Handling Business | 11-16-03
It’s a frequent nightly habit of yours, don’t lie. Why should you have to anyway?

The Seven Stages of Drunk | 11-9-03
Screw the “Are You an Alcoholic?” tests. In college, we’re all alcoholics. Here are the seven stages, as experienced by…everyone.

Girls, Girls, Girls | 11-2-03
The greatest mystery of all time. Still not solved. Duh.


October 2003

Legends of the Call | 10-29-03
Nobody ever said calling home from college would be easy. E.T. phone HOOOOOOMMME!!