Black Dudes I'd Rather Have as President

Hey kids, did you hear we have a black president? You know, he's black, in case you haven't noticed. Seriously, an actual African-American is moving into the White House, and he's not a butler!

I'm indifferent on Obama. I don't like him and I don't not like him. I'm going to wait and see about our new boss (is he the same as the old boss?). I kind of wish he wasn't the first though. I can definitely think of some others I wish had come before him...

Black Dudes I'd Rather Have as President

6. Lando Calrissian - Okay, so he's kind of a traitor, but he made up for selling out Han Solo, Leia and Chewie by helping defeat the Galactic Empire. He's smooth, debonair and as cool as Siberia. Plus, he drinks Colt 45. "It works every time."

5. Will Smith "The Fresh Prince" - Even though he's ruined classic books turned into movies such as "I, Robot" and "I Am Legend," he gives hope to big-eared doofy kids whose parents dress them. Like me. Yes We Can...get laid.

4. T'Challa "Black Panther" - He's incredibly intelligent. He's also strong, quick-witted and agile. He actually has experience running a futuristic, isolationist country. That works for me.

3. Winston Zeddemore "The Black Ghostbuster" - Has Barack battled poltergeists? Has Obama been wrongly sent to jail on trumped up charges? Can he drive the Statue of Liberty with a Nintendo controller? Shit no! Winston helped defeat ultimate evil twice. And he knows how to use a proton pack.

2. Kirby Puckett "The Amazing Twin" - If bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger and pro wrestler Jesse "The Mind" Ventura can become governors, why can't the greatest athlete in history become president? Exactly. Granted, Kirby passed away almost three years ago, but I'd like to think this Minnesota Twin outfielder could have spent his twilight years as Commander in Chief, moved the White House to Minneapolis, foreclosed on Yankee Stadium and ushered the United States into a future of peace, prosperity and eight years of the Twins as World Series Champions. He definitely could have balanced the budget, ended world hunger, and all that other stupid crap, too.

1. Cleo "Mover, Not Shaker" - I worked as a professional mover for a while. Cleo drove the 18-wheeler. He was one of the coolest and hardest working guys I've ever met. He always said, "Working high is so much better than not working high. It's almost like you're not working." Wise words, brother.

Guys Who'd Make Shitty Black Presidents

1. Chris Tucker, Martin Lawrence and Eddie Griffin - They're not funny. They suck.

A double-edged sword indeed.2. Blade - Sure he has ninja skills and awesome weapons, but he's a dick. He should let vampires kill people.

3. Dickhead the Bouncer - First off, he doesn't pay his debts. Second, his immigration policy is bad (he doesn't let in underage hot chicks). Third, he's a New York Football Giants fan.

4. Xavier Holland - X is a cool guy, but he hangs out with the likes of Paul Frank and me. So he's obviously a bigger dumbass than he lets on.

5. Apollo Creed - He's like the reverse John McCain. He lost to a white guy in a black man's game.