What Makes Him Mr. Right... Now

The search for Mr. Right is something that women begin at a very young age. It all started for me around ten when I was drawing hearts around Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s name and taking pictures of my TV screen with a Polaroid camera during the intro to Home Improvement. It developed further from there with a brief obsession with Leonardo Dicaprio (any pre-adolescent girl who didn’t kiss the screen during the wedding scene of Romeo and Juliet is more than likely currently buzz cutting her hair and subscribing to The Advocate—not that there is anything wrong with that).

Finally, my make believe crushes turned into real life “boyfriends”—ones who I would hold hands with in middle school and sit in the corner with while everyone else was playing spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven. And from there came the boys whose last names I would scribble after my first name on my binder, and eventually the one’s whose last names I considered when thinking about what I would like to name my currently non-existent children.

"If a Mr. Right says he’s certain he never wants to have kids (and has the snippings to prove it), while you’re set on six, re-evaluate his status."

Since I’ve been to college, the search for Mr. Right has temporarily been put on hold, and I’m rather enjoying hanging out with guys who are more suitable for the right now. Not to say that a Mr. Right Now guy can’t drop the “Now,” but it would definitely take a lot of time and effort for that to happen… and frankly, it’s not necessarily something I’d want to happen anyway. The problem with meeting a really “right” guy at this day and age is that most of us aren’t ready; we don’t want to find our “soulmate” or “the love of our life,” because that means we can’t do the usually stupid, but almost always fun and all too many times repeated things that college girls do.

Let’s start with the differences between the guys we are dating now from the guys we wouldn’t mind fathering our children. For guy to assume the title of Mr. Right Now, a few things need to come into play (so to speak). The most important is location. Location, location, location. He needs to be close enough that the two of you can stumble home from the party together at the end of the night and you can walk home the next morning—or, if you’re self-conscious about the whole walk of shame thing, it’s at least close enough that he won’t mind driving in a hungover stupor.

On the other hand, Mr. Right is usually the one you were with in high school, probably even the one you’re now trying the doomed long-distance thing with. The smart thing to do with a high school love is to put it on hold. Yes, on hold. With all of the new experiences at your fingertips, it’s unfair to both parties to stay in a commitment that’s more than likely going to meet an ugly end due to infidelity. If you end things amicably and stay in touch, the future could hold great things for you. Not to say there isn’t the occasional couple that stays together even though one person is going to school in NYC and the other in bum-fuck South Dakota (no offense to anyone from South Dakota), but… well, there’s also nothing wrong with having cyber sex with an imaginary “girl”friend either.

Then there’s the common interest thing. You should definitely have common interests with Mr. Right; Mr. Right Now’s only need to be current though. Some mutual friends, a few inside jokes, and some things you can do together that make you more than just a one-night stand. The more important common interests aren’t really something you need to worry about. For example, if Mr. Right Now is set on marrying someone Jewish, and you’ve been going to Catholic School since you were five, there’s no reason to call off the arrangement and start a Holy War. However, if a Mr. Right says he’s certain he never wants to have kids (and has the snippings to prove  it), while you’re set on six, you may want to re-evaluate his status as a Mr. Right.

To make a long story short, the world is filled with Mr. Right's and Mr. Right Now’s. What you do with them, and when, is your choice. However, from a fair amount of experience, good and bad, I’ve learned it’s best to keep your eyes open and be aware of what you have to look forward to in your future and of what’s going on in your life right… now.