January 2008

Rules of the Road (West Coast Edition) | 1-16-08
The right lane is for driving, and the left lane is for passing. Don't believe for a moment that Californians won't go road rage on violators.

An Unoriginal New Year's Resolution Thing | 1-2-08
Going to the gym and eating healthy may sound nice in theory, but years of probability show that drinking more is 8 billion times more likely.

December 2007

Rejected Planet Earth Narrators | 12-19-07
Sigourney Weaver may not have been the best pick to narrate animal play-by-plays, but she's a lot better than Michael Vick or Carrot Top.

November 2007

Dear Old People at the Gym | 11-25-07
It's obvious you've succeeded at staving off death (thus far), but could you speed things up (the treadmill) and dress the part (athletic gear)?

A Day in the Life of Alex Willen | 11-11-07
Spend a running diary day with Alex, from intramural afternoon Beirut competition to bartending shot contests. Then pass out on his futon.

I Challenge You, PIC | 11-4-07
Will you step up to the plate in the name of excessive quantities of milk, NyQuil, THC, Taco Bell and 40s? I sure hope so...pussy.

October 2007

Thoughts on the Stanford Upset Over USC | 10-7-07
Unranked Stanford hands USC their first football defeat at home since, well, the last one they handed them in 2001. It's the Cardinal Curse.

September 2007

Love and Donuts | 9-9-07
What do you get when you combine lots of pot, a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and the encouragement of strangers? Love sick, duh.

August 2007

Suburban Survival Guide to Amusement Parks | 8-12-07
Navigating the rednecks, teenie bopppers, and obese people at an amusement park is like a crazy ride in itself. Here's how to cope.

Been Around the Block, High | 8-6-07
Any seasoned stoner will tell you they've seen some strange shit. Very few of those stoners can put those things into a coherent article.

July 2007

Being Harold Longfellow | 7-9-07
The man behind the dashingly handsome yet chronically bitter face of the YouTube Critic reveals himself and his ghost writing methods.

The Making of a Rap Video | 7-1-07
Behind all the glitz, girls and glamour of a rap video, there's a team of dedicated visionaries whose elaborate scripts never materialized.

June 2007

Four Summer Jobs and a Veal Cow | 6-24-07
Interns, fast food workers and online poker players have one thing in common with veal cows: they're not getting any retirement benefits.

Scrub My Feet, Bitch | 6-17-07
Lest you think pedicures are only for homosexuals, here's how you too can have sex with women AND have luscious, baby-soft feet.

Facebook Apps: Install At Your Own Risk | 6-10-07
If you thought the Mini-Feed was bad news, wait 'til you learn how useless a Facebook application can get. Smells like MySpace in here.