The 10 Weirdest Places People I Know Have Woken Up Drunk, Part Deux

In a guys bed that was not my own, in a building I do not have access to, with a girl I did not remember meeting (though I didn't mind that part so much), with pants on that were not mine and a strip of duck tape on the inside of my arm pressing ten beer bottle caps into my skin.

Me and a girl after a night of drinking, woke up in the back of a stranger's truck, in the parking lot of a local bar, when he came back the next day to pick up his truck. Funniest part is, he had a truck topper with tinted glass (that's why we picked his truck), and he didn't realize we were there until the roar of the engine woke us up and I pounded on the window of the cab.

I'm in the Marines, and I'm stationed in Okinawa, Japan. A Corporal I worked for had a heavily acohol-soaked evening, blacked out, and woke up in downtown Naha in the open mouth of a giant dragon statue 20 feet off the ground, wearing socks, shoes, and a japanese t-shirt he apparently stole from the Kokusai Street market. He reeked of something we have yet to identify which, in japan, is something to be concerned about.

Pt. 2--Not a friend of mine, but recently another idiot woke up butt-ass naked on a couch in the private home of the Japanese Chiefe of Police.

Pt. 3--Around the same time as Pt. 2, a pleasantly drunken fool stole a taxi while the driver was at an ATM, and woke up in the open trunk the next morning in the middle of the red light district.

Pt. 4--In my own room....bound hand and foot with duct tape...and penises drawn all over my face with permanent marker.

I've woken up in a tree before. Nothing like opening your eyes to a good 30 foot drop. The real question is how the hell did I get up there in the first place.

Two stories for you: One is me and the other is my sister:

A) In the former dormitory-now teacher offices bathroom/bathtub cradling the shower head; only bra and miniskirt on; woken up by the Dean of Fine Arts that I worked for every afternoon...

and

B) He was in full drag-dress, heels, make-up, tits- She was in drag with a fake beard-and the priest found them in the confessional before leaving for the night (Brad took her the night before after a "switch-up" theme party)...

This would definitely have made my list had I heard it before I typed it up. Perhaps round two...

Happened to a friend of mine:

Waking up in the middle of a Fordham University quad, wearing a kilt that wasn't his, with a pubic region entirely covered in bubble gum.

We've never found out who's the kilt was, where it came from, and can only guess how the bubble gum got there.

In the back of a truck with three people I had met a few hours previously, four hours away from my city in the mountains with a sealed plastic baggie full of Everclear (God bless Alberta where it's still legal), my ID and 20 dollars in my pocket. No cell phone, no wallet (cell phone turned up later in a different town approximately four hours the other way from my city) and a lot of explaining to do.
Have been dating one of the random truck people for two years now.

On a cold night, at work (in a cab from downtown, $10 more than going home), in my underwear, with a towel for a blanket.

My parents once woke me up after I had passed out, in nothing but my boxers, on the window sill in the dining room. Our 10-week-old puppy, whom I had apparently taken out of his crate to play with, was asleep on the floor beneath me. Ahhhh, Tequila...

Woke up at sunrise, on a sand dune at the Jersey Shore, wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra with an empty rum bottle next to me. With a rub on skull and cross bones tattoo on my face.

1. Woke up in my bed, topless, wearing unidentified shorts and using my mattress pad as a blanket.

2. I had an internship at a marble and granite place and one of the stone cutters had a party. I woke up in bed with his brother and his brother's wife, wearing a ruffled top and pink tights (which I didn't happen to start the night with) and what I now know to be fried egg goo on my chest.

Naked, with only one sock on…wrapped snug around my member. I peer around thought a fixed haze-still got my liquor vision-to find a dead duck-now collecting fresh flies, a muffler, a naked older woman, a naked younger woman, a half filled bottle of raspberry absolute vodka next to an empty one of everclear. I wonder why the muffler is there, why that’s my first thought is beyond me. I stumble to my feet an fall as if the ground is moving beneath me-which it was-and proceed to get back up, fall a second time and decide it would be easier to try and pull myself up onto the seat next to me…. there’s a seat? I look around again, this time catching a glimpse of things more than three feet away from me. I look out the window…a window? To find complete darkness. Holding onto the rail for support…a rail? Where the fuck am I? I can see metal and windows and seats and a floor and a ceiling. Still my mind is blank. I try and wake the younger woman, who’s clothes are on one of the seats, yet mine are nowhere in sight, maybe the older woman is laying on them I don’t know. She doesn’t move. IS SHE DEAD?!? No, there’s a rise and fall in her chest, her beautiful breasts slowly moving with each inhale. I attempt to wake her several more times, not hesitating to touch those fine titys-I’m only human, and worse, a man. After what seemed like hours of pointless groping and shaking I sat back in my set. With some difficulty I grabbed the vodka and untwisted the cap. Downed the rest of the half bottle that was left and slouched back in the seat. Five minuets pass…maybe and I’m feelin the booz spark me back up. With renewed interest in this young, attractive woman, I do the only thing that comes to mind at the moment. I crouch/stumble/fall to the floor and work my way to her mid section….cock my head to the side….and start to eat her out. After a few seconds of rug munching she starts to move her hips aroung and let out a few soft moans-shes coming to! I continue cuz I cant think of anything else to do at the moment and she awakes. She looks around, then at me, our eyes lock. Then she says something wonderful, an answer to all my confusion for the past half hour. “Why the fuck are we on a train?”

I was the one who posted about waking up in the bed of a truck... This story is true, unfortunately. It happened to me when I was an undergrad at Cal Poly-SLO. The story is pretty simple, albeit embarrassing. I was walking back to my place with my roommate after a night of particularly aggressive drinking. Our route home took us past a dealership- I think it was a Dodge dealership. We had this habit of getting hammered and pissing on the cars at the dealership every time we walked by. It was a handy way of relieving ourselves while at the same time getting back at people who were well off enough to buy their own cars. Anyway, this particular night I stopped to take a piss but my roommate just kept on going. I didnt notice that he had not stopped with me until I was mid-piss. I am sure I was quite a sight- holding my dick in the middle a well lit dealership and screaming like a madman to my imaginary roommate. I am not sure why I didn't just finish pissing and walk home, but for some reason I didn't feel up to the task- I was probably dealing with issues of abandonment. I was cognizant enough to realize that you cant just fall asleep on the sidewalk-instinct took over and I climbed into the bed of the nearest truck. I woke up to a salesman showing the truck to a couple. The salesman looked at me like I had just killed a puppy but was too shocked to do anything about it. I left just as gracefully as I had entered.......the dealership has subsequently shut down.

Mr.Bash,
I am so honored to be mentioned in the story about Willow and how I found him on campus while I was strolling to my 9:30 that fateful day. However I believe he was not barefoot but wearing only one sock, just like in the other story. I also think that story about Willow waking up in the hotel room with two men downtown and then going out to breakfast was a good one too. At least I think it was Willow. P.S. Miss you, come back soon.
Hazmatt

Once I was so drunk I went to a party, met a girl, bot her tons of drinks, bought myself tons of drinks, and (apparently) went to her dorm and fell asleep with her. I wake up the next day and didn't at first recognize her haha. She was a graduating nurse (me a sophmore engineer) so it didn't work out, but man that was awesome waking up next to some cute girl you don't know. But yeah I know this isn't that crazy but its true haha