Columns Overview

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Starting Lineup
Thank Me Later
By Casey Freeman
Reports and wisdom from a college grad lamenting the end of dining hall food, forbidden dorm sex, and a complete lack of responsibility.
A Loon with a View
By Andrei Trostel

Sarcastic, eye-opening observations from someone crazy enough to tell you the truth and leave you questioning your own reality.
Sexual Solitaire
By Ashley Garmany

The humbling account of one girl's journey thru singledom as she pursues new adventures & relationships yet always ends up fucking herself.
Hungry Hungry Hippocampus
By Jeff Gassen

Food for thought, if your brain ran on sophisticated overinterpretation, critical drinking skills, religious paradox, and strategems.
Bad Acid
By Mike Lamb

Like being tied up & thrown into a windowless van made of dark comedy, fueled by psychotic drunken tales of sex, drugs, & the apocalypse.
Lady Bits
By Codie Leiker

Absurdly witty tales of Midwest life from a lady with a penchant for pop culture references, boxed wine, and Star Wars-nights in her Forever Lazy.
Indiscriminate Crushage
By Cole F.M.

A wordsplosion of idiocy and advice so profound, you'll be left winded and wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
Nick Moose's View
By Nick Moose

ADD-fueled power comedy from the nicest self-centered perspective you'll ever read.
Calculated Thrust
By Jacob Trowbridge

A twisted yet precise approach to every hip twitch and pelvic maneuver you'll need to bend life over and pleasure it into submission.
 
Vacationing
Primal Urges
By Nathan DeGraaf

A showcase of one male's pathetic attempts to fight his basic instincts and grow up, despite the fact that the very idea makes him sick.
Much Love with Jimmy Pudge
By Jimmy Pudge

The life and times of a lowlife living the high life. There's always a party in Jimmy's pants, and you're invited. P.S. He still loves you, crazy Waffle House bitch.
Talking Out of Turn
By Jessica Wachtel

The firsthand account of one girl's quest to navigate through a world of the absurd, while keeping her common sense about her.
Gay for Girls
By Yaro Shepherd

A thorough, intelligent examination of the male psyche and the pressures of society, sprinkled liberally with boobs and drinking.
Retired
All-American Asshole
By Andrew Richardson

The engrossing stories of a habitual criminal, womanizer, and blackout drunk—sometimes violent, sometimes petty, always hilarious.
Art School Dropout
By Bill Dixon

Intimate tales of life, love and self-absorption through the narcissistic lens of an art school dropout looking for adventure.
Peter Pan Syndrome
By Alex Boonstra

A maelstrom of exaggerated fables from a narcissist clinging to his youth through comedy.
Cell F Indulgence
By JW Emerson

The sexual, egocentric thoughts of a man who lurks in the dark corners of your mind, ready to corrupt your thoughts.
Beaver Fever
By Brent Stone

The mildly misogynistic ramblings of a young man struggling to walk the line between being happy and being sober.
About Last Night...
By Ali Wisch

A candid account of the sexcapades and relationships of a post-college girl in search of Mr. Right, and her experiences with Mr. Right now.
The Break Room
By Robert King

In-depth, absurd and hilarious backstories and breakdowns of funny videos posted to our partner site, Break.com.
Ask Fugly Slut
By Fugly Slut

Simultaneously titillating, repulsive, and insightful advice from a 237-year-old bisexual Civil War veteran hungry for love.
Standards of Propriety
By Charlie Mihelich

An enticing collection of short stories that read like a fine chianti paired with a meticulously seasoned porterhouse.
Atypical Man
By The Man

A short story series offering an existential glance into the life of one of the most pitiful specimens of man and his relentless attempts to get laid.
The Strumpet's Trumpet
By Allison Parks

An enchanting collection of real-life tales from the sexy, fast-paced lifestyle of a bachelorette with a knack for kicking up the dirt.
Workforced
By Don Joe

Office comedy from a guy stuck in the company from Purgatory, fighting the machine but never inflicting any damage.
Experimental Comedy
By
Paul Frank
Outrageous and absurd comedy with no point other than to make you laugh, or run home screaming bloody controversy.
The Alcoholic Medium
By Allen Waters

A drunk, R-rated version of Chicken Soup for the Soul from the intoxicating and irreverent mind of a professional frat guy.
The Classy Bastard
By Eric Ott

A triple malt blend of truth, lies and a splash of crazy, from a self-indulgent humanist nice enough to slip something into your drink.
The Weight of the World
By Atlas Jobinson

An illuminating look at the faults of society through the eyes of an eternal pessimist.
The Rollercoaster of Drama
By Simonne Cullen
An intimate look at the in's and out's, he said/she said's, and irreverent monotony of college life at a small liberal arts school.
Against Your Will
By Jonathan Marine

An eloquent disposition on the experiences and people inherent to college life from the perspective of an outright asshole.
Bang for Your Buck
By
David Nelson
An edgy and inspirational approach to the best and worst parts of life that will get inside your head and kick your brain's ass.
No Gag Reflex
By Mike Cannon

The trials and tribulations of a bottom-feeding NYC comedian with the work ethic of a Thai sweat shop kid, and the sexual ambition of a 16-year-old bulimic girl.
The Scholarly Tabloid
By E. Mike Tuckerson

An objectively opinionated exposé of current collegiate issues and quirks of the modern world, without regard for accuracy or morals.
Fringe Benefits
By J.M. Lucci

Off-tilt observations of the unnoticed perks of college life, because sometimes a normal, hedonistic experience just isn't enough.
The Lady's Shave
By NG Hatfield

The dark, satirical thoughts of a lady's man with a creative mind for getting into and out of your pants without your knowledge.
Up Shit Creek
By Michael Curtiss
The uncouth misadventures of an unwarily optimistic Floridian caught paddling with nothing but his hands.
Casual Misanthropy
By
JD Boston
An offbeat, laugh-out-loud look at the finer points of college life from the inappropriate mind of a cynical Bostonian.
The YouTube Critic
By Harold Longfellow

A look at the best and the worst YouTube has to offer by a man driven to internet writing after rejection from the cruel world of cinema.

The Hard Way
By Mike Faerber

A retrospective guide to surviving and making the most of your college experience. Learn how to do it right... from the guy who always gets it wrong.

Three Beers Deep
By Chris Phelan
An assortment of guides, stories, and observational humor from a guy who realized writing a weekly column can't be done sober.
Balls to the Wall
By Dan Opp

A critical, humorous take on the sports world from a self-diagnosed sports addict looking for the ultimate fix.
Edited for Content
By Mike Forest

A wry, often smiting look at life and society. Fulfill your inquisitive urge with these thoughtful, deliberate 1-2 punches.
Points in Case
By
Court Sullivan
A compilation of the oddest and most intriguing aspects of college life. The original college humor column that started the website in 1999.

Text-Heavy
By Emmanuel Witzman

Intriguing college observations and witticisms from the refined, yet curiously comedic voice of a Canadian university student.

Ask Nicole
By
Nicole McKaig
General college advice and perspective. Lost your keys? Ripped your jeans? Chances are you need to ask her something!
The News: JAY KAY!
By Amir Blumenfeld
A collegiate approach to current events. Not since The Daily Show have kids been so inadvertently and comedically informed on the issues.
Deer Court
By Court (the deer)

Straightforward hunting, outdoors, and general life advice from an optimistic, big-buck whitetail out of Charleston, WV.