Anti-Chuck Norris Facts: Sports

Chuck Norris Sports Facts:

Chuck Norris and the Total Gym sold out for the same reason: they're both CHEAP.

Chuck Norris was fired and arrested from his job at a Dallas Texas school after a video showed him smelling the football players jock straps. He
was taken into custody oddly enough by a real Texas Ranger named Walker.

Chuck Norris watches the Olympics, but only for the pole vaulting competition, when he can be heard screaming "Plant that pole and unleash on the
backside!!" at the top of his lungs.

In Pac-Man, Chuck Norris does not lose lives, they simply go on coffee breaks.

Chuck Norris once took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

As a teen, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later, the nuns gave birth to the 1976
Buccaneers, the worst team in NFL history, finishing their season 0-14 and losing by an average of 20 points per game. They were also shut out five times that season.

Stephen Hawking once beat Chuck Norris in a foot race.

Chuck Norris folds pocket aces pre-flop.

Chuck Norris bet on Duke to win the National Championship. IN FOOTBALL.

Chuck Norris puts forth so much effort during a Total Gym demonstration that he actually shits his pants. Depends has been trying to get him to
endorse their adult diapers for years.

Chuck Norris only started taking Karate lessons because his friends made fun of the fact that he went to Yoga classes on Tuesday and
Thursday.

Chuck Norris once passed out during a marathon because his thick, award-winning whiskers were blocking air from entering his nasal cavity.

When Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley make Total Gym commercials, Christy uses a higher setting. And spots him.

Chuck Norris throws with his right hand like I do with my left hand. I’m right-handed.