Anti-Chuck Norris Facts: Intelligence

Chuck Norris Intelligence Facts:

Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.

Chuck Norris' brain cells cure cancer... too bad he doesn't have a brain.

Chuck Norris always judges a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris once hid his cornflakes in a safe because he heard a serial killer was on the loose.

To this day, Chuck Norris is still washing his hair, because the shampoo bottle said "REPEAT" after "Lather and rinse."

Chuck Norris' IQ test came back negative. Most people thought he'd score lower.

Chuck Norris once challenged Steve Hill to a writing contest. Steve Hill won.

When God was dealing stupidity, Chuck Norris told a retard in line, "No cuts, no butts! Okay, just butts."

When Chuck Norris gets angry, he finds a revolving door and attempts to slam it shut. Inevitably, the door swings around and kicks his ass.

Chuck Norris thinks Hooters is an exclusive hangout for people with huge pick-up trucks.

Chuck Norris once tried snorting Coke, but the ice cubes got stuck in his nose.

The only number Chuck Norris can divide by is 0, because Chuck Norris is the definition of nothing.

Chuck Norris once painted a portrait of himself. He only used 3 colors. Nobody said anything.

On January 12, 1995 Chuck Norris shaved his beard. On January 13, 1995 Chuck Norris filed a missing person claim on himself.

Osama Bin Laden told Chuck Norris about the 9/11 attacks on 9/10 in order to ensure that his plan would not be foiled.

Chuck Norris tried to copyright the copyright symbol. It was the first time the employees at the United States Patent and Trademark Office have
ever laughed.

Chuck Norris bet on Poland in both World Wars.

Chuck Norris was kicked out of the CIA because he was unable to come up with a better codename than "Nuck Chorris." To add injury to insult, it was
a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is an avid reader. He proudly owns all first edition copies of "The Babysitters Club."

Chuck Norris was once trapped in a paper bag for 3 days.

Chuck Norris caused Hurricane Katrina and encouraged George W. Bush to let Michael Brown handle it.

Chuck Norris didn't go to college, but his mom went to college!

Chuck Norris wrote the Bible. Nice one, Chuck.

Chuck Norris majored in liberal arts. It was his first choice.