Anti-Chuck Norris Facts: Homosexuality

Chuck Norris, about to get his ass kicked.Chuck Norris is vulnerable to...

HOMOSEXUALITY!


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Chuck Norris Homosexuality Facts:

Chuck Norris is currently choreographing and starring in a gay porn with Chad Kroeger called "Butt Pirates of the Caribbean."

Chuck Norris has seen more black cock than a KFC urinal.

Chuck Norris almost turned down the offer to make a cameo in the movie "Dodgeball" on the grounds that he doesn't like to dodge balls—he prefers to have them resting on his chin.

When Chuck Norris has sex with men, it's not because he ran out of women, but because women couldn't find his penis when he wanted to have sex with them.

Chuck Norris says "I am... I mean, you are what you eat, dick."

Chuck Norris called "all-time crush" on Leif Garrett.


Chuck Norris beats off to "Pretty in Pink" three times a day with a wax figure of Andrew McCarthy lodged in his ass.

Chuck Norris's shit is already packed.


Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk, and prance around like a homo.

Chuck Norris once stuck his cock up a man's nose, then accidentally into his ear, then back into his nose.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and merely blinked because the gay porn he was watching was too exciting to sleep through.

Chuck Norris is so gay that when he goes to the donkey show, he gets jealous of the woman.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of showing everyone how loose his asshole is.

In a recent poll, Chuck Norris beat the Hamburglar as the "World's Biggest Ass Bandit."

Chuck Norris and Michael Jackson have been known to recreate the hand-to-hand combat scenes in Star Wars using their penises as light sabers.

The Chuck Norris food pyramid consists of sperm and Haagen Dazs.

Chuck Norris thinks that hot rod races are circle jerks. Accordingly, he shows up in drag.

Freddy Mercury wrote "Fat Bottomed Girls" after a passionate night with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris loves hemorrhoids. He calls them "speed bumps."

Chuck Norris likes to get a good night's sleep...with as many men as possible.

Chuck Norris once decided to donate sperm, but Heath Ledger refused to take it.

Chuck Norris’ farts smell like Vaseline.

Chuck Norris has never ridden a bull as hard as he has ridden a cock.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
His dick was so long he could suck it,
He said with a grin,
As he tickled his chin,
If my ass was a pussy Chuck Norris would fuck it.

Jonathan Ned Katz wanted Chuck Norris to use a condom, but he used a water balloon instead.

Chuck Norris' burps smell like semen.



Chuck Norris impaled the man from Nantucket with his own penis just to hold the title "Most Dicks Sucked...EVER!"

One time, while watching gay porn, Chuck Norris swallowed his remote control because he thought it would feel good on the way out.

Chuck Norris is the Rump Ranger.

Chuck Norris started the "Chuck Norris Facts" in hopes of finding a new love. Upon finding out the majority of fans using the facts were guys, Chuck Norris wept with joy.

Chuck Norris will ram his rod straight down the throat of anyone who calls him gay. He's just funny like that.

After a night of passionate love with Tony Danza, Chuck Norris took the morning after pill, fearing an unwanted pregnancy.

Chuck Norris' milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose.

Brad Pitt adopted one of Chuck Norris' children, and Chuck Norris still won't marry him.

Chuck Norris would go straight if he could fuck Rosie O'Donnell. Too bad she is holding out to go straight for Tom Cruise, who is holding out to go gay for Heath Ledger.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he looks in his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck's ass is still sore from the last time he was found.

Chuck Norris is from Texas. Only steers and queers come from Texas. Chuck Norris has no horns.

The chief import of Chuck Norris is cock.

Chuck Norris is wanted for raping 10 different men during last year's Carinaval celebration in Brazil. The United States has refused the Brazilian extradition request.

Chuck Norris was once arrested in a small Midwestern town for public indecency. During his four-hour stay in the local jail, he was made the bitch to a pre-op transsexual named Phil.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it is not because he has run out of women. It is because he was born that way. It wasn't his choice.

Chuck Norris was seen running out of Jenny Craig crying because his strict diet of Tony Danza's spunk didn't work.

Chuck Norris won't suck one, but he will hold it in his mouth until it goes soft.

Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.

If Chuck Norris were gay, his name would be... oh wait.

Chuck Norris checks his closet for Michael Jackson before he goes to bed. He is disappointed when he doesn't find him.

Chuck Norris was approached by Mattel to market his controversial Homo Kung Fu Doll. However, the test market in San Francisco found it too gay and went with the Ru Paul Line instead. They kept the Kung Fu grip.

Chuck Norris once was at the theater watching Crossroads, when someone spotted him sending the following text message to someone: "Count me in on the gay clown orgy."

Chuck Norris always insists that he's joking when he sniggers in his camp voice, "I'm going outside to have a fag, and then I'm going to have a cigarette." But we all know he's not joking.

Chuck Norris can suck the AIDS virus right out of a grown man's cock, then spit it into a bottle for research.

Chuck Norris once walked into a gay bar because he wanted to. Another time, he walked into another gay bar. Now, it is a weekly habit.

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the “Are you a good boyfriend” quiz in Cosmo.

Richard Simmons once told Chuck Norris to quit acting like such a fag.

The origin of the name “Norris” is actually French. The translation of the word “Chuck” means homosexual.

Chuck Norris' pubes cover the head of Carrot Top.

Chuck Norris once had an affair with Ralph Macchio on the set of The Karate Kid.

Chuck Norris never learned how to play the harmonica because it is just too different from playing the meat whistle.

My dog is covered in vasaliene

Chuck Norris has tiny balls!

Wow this is really some hateful stuff... I guess you'll be onto how black Chuck is next. Go a suck off your preist

NEW AXE CLEANS YOUR BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Chuck Norris can suck a nut. He is way too gay to fuction.

Wow. I love how lameass "sexxxy chick" quotes Mean Girls.

Fabulous vocabulary btw.

chuck norris is just gay btw when your from texas your also insest but queer and steer comes from there 2 btw if u hear the hic accent u no like the 1 from texas remember to ask them how long they've been insest

As i gay man i have to say that this is horribly offensive and hilarious all at the same time. On that note i would never have sex with chuck Norris. I like sucking dick too much to have sex with a woman.

fagssssssssssss fuck chuck norris damn ho and u two anonymous above me ya faggot. burn in hell

ur a retard if ur gonna say you too above me then spell it as too its not a number if its directed at 1 person fag

The sad thing is, i only found this place by googling chuck norris porn :P

CHUCK NORRIS WILL FUCK YOU ALL...HE IS THE SHIT

No. He's not "the" shit, He's just pure shit.

Why is Clint Eastwood so much better than chuck norris? Because Eastwood doesn't need to publish a fact book for people to know who he is.

wassup nathan like penis

fuck u chuck norris

You will all die soon, very soon.

are you that devoted to chuck norris who you probably havent even met that you gotta tell chuck norris haters that there gonna die? you sir are gay -_-

Chuck Norris will be notified of your blasphemy. He, along with Stevan Segal are now watching your every move. Don't hate on Chuck Norris.

chuck norris sucks

It was in Cambridge, MA at the Harvard Coop. Chuck was there signing autographs of his new book out. This was over 20 years ago and at the time I was 10 years old. I took a public bus by myself to get his autograph. Wait in line for 2 hours- Finally get to Chuck with a piece of paper and pen in hand. His handler asks me where my book is, I tell him I do not have the money for the book and just wanted to meet Chuck and get his autograph. Chuck then looks down at me and says sorry kid, have to buy a book. They shuffle me quickly to the side and crush a 10 year. True story- F**k off Chuck

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Im gonna slap all of you silly then you can rape me !!!!!

Wow. Chuck norris is amazing, bitch!

Chuck Norris effing SUCKS. He's an overrated scum who claims he wants to "overthrow the government" the racist bastard.

I found these jokes hilarious and had a good laugh. Those who didn't either don't know crap and think those CHUCK NORRIS WATCHES YOU WHEN YOU SLEEP jokes are silly because they're just little kids, or you're a republican retard who like the prior choice, doesn't know crap.

Fuck.

you

he is a bad actor. he is a lame political tool. he is a tool in general.

CHUCK NORRIS IS F***ING AMAZING !!! I BET YOU MASTERBATE TO HIM EVERY NIGHT

I'm so fucking glad I found this. Chuck Norris is so overrated its not even funny and I agree he has NOTHING on Eastwood.

Rob Halford of Judas Priest is gay and still owns metal.

Your argument is invalid.

chuck norris heads to the gay district only populated with black guys with watermelon and chicken in his pants every saturday night