People I Dislike...

There is a group of people out there that consistantly baffle me. I don't understand what drives them to do the things they do. It seems to me that they put way too much time and planning into stupid mundane things like dressing up their little queer dogs. Yes, I'm talking about dog lovers. This is something I hate, and I believe we can all agree on this.

Fucking dog lovers.

Don't get me wrong. I love our little poochy friends. I have a dog and we have a great time when we hang out. I take him outside to so he can avoid crapping on our carpet and he doesn't chew up my sandals. It's the perfect relationship. But there is a bigass line between someone who loves dogs and a 'Dog Lover'.

Let me give you an example.

I was walking to campus today, and I saw an oldish man walking his dog. I'm going to assume that the mans name was Gerald. I don't know if that was in fact his name. He wasn't wearing anything that suggested his name was Gerald. He just looked like a Gerald. His dog look like a nice enough dog, I will admit. I happened to have a letter that had to be mailed and him and his dog were right next to the mail box, so I bent down to give the dog a stroke and felt somthing strange.

The dog was wearing a fucking baseball cap.

I kid you not.

A baseball cap. It had even been modified to include a strap, probably so it didn't fall off. The fucker even had the balls to ask me if I liked his hat. I was so mad I didn't say anything. I don't think I have ever come as close to choke slamming a person in the street before, and i doubt I will ever come as close again. This guy had spent a good amount of time modifying a fucking baseball cap for a dog.

What the hell was this man thinking? How did he come up with that gem of an idea?

Gerald: Darling, can you start dinner, I'm a little hungry?
Mrs Gerald: Of course dear, it'll be with you in a minute. Can you set the timer on the TiVo, I want to record World's Funniest Animals...
Gerald: Our dog needs a baseball cap, right now!
Dog: Woof. (Translation: Don't be a faggot. I really don't need a goddam baseball cap, I'm a dog.)
This man is the most deserving person of the 'Idiot of the Day' award. He is so deserving of it that I just made it up especially for him. Faggot.

And Dog Lovers in general are people whom evolution should have taken care of years ago. What other group of people talk about an animal which chases its own fucking tail and and a ball that you pretend to throw?

"He's so smart, I swear sometimes he almost understands what i'm saying!"

No he doesn't, you cock. Its a dog. If you didn't tickle its testicles everytime it jumped into your lap you would notice this.

I love my dog. I feed him, walk him, play with him, and pretend to throw his ball and watch him chase after nothing like everyone else. Yet I never feel the need to modify any article of clothing to make my dog look like a retard. I mean he already feels stupid enough spending 20 minutes trying to find the ball that's still in my hand.

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