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Top 5 Cartoon Characters Who Might Be Gay
Posted November 20th, 2005 by Chad Chamley
We've all watched cartoons at one time or another. I still do whenever I get the chance. When we were kids we thought that their homosexual traits were funny and didn't think anything of them. Now when we look back we wonder how we could have missed it. How could we miss the lack of the opposite sex in their lives. The way they talked and dressed made it obvious that they liked to smoke pole or munch rug, and we missed it. Now we watch these shows closer than we ever have before. Looking for signs to confirm our suspicions. I'm not talking about the obivious ones like Waylon Smithers, The Ambiguously Gay Duo, SpongeBob or Stewie Griffin who are suppose to be gay. I believe that the following characters weren't intended to be gay.
5. Velma (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?)
Have you ever noticed that Velma is always sitting next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She has no sense of fashion because she is always wearing a turtle neck sweater with a skirt and knee high socks. Sports a butch hair cut and broad shoulders. Most of all, has never ever tried to bribe Shaggy into poking her using her vast supply of Scooby Snacks.
4. Snagglepuss (The Yogi Bear Show)
First off have you ever heard this character speak? He sounds like he should be a cast member on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. All he wears are cufflinks and a bowtie, and, oh yeah, he's pink. He has one of the gayest catchphrases out there, "Heavens to Mergatroid". What the hell does that mean? Is that what he yells during intercourse? He is also always being chased by a man carrying a long shaft like object, which may or may not be a gun, and enjoying it way too much.
3. Bugs Bunny (Loony Toons)
Remember when Garth Algar asked Wayne if he though Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up as a girl bunny? We thought twice about Garth's sexuality (until Honey Horny). What we didn't think about, or at least I didn't, was why was Bugs Bunny dressed in drag? Why does he always kiss Elmer Fudd on the mouth? Why does he fondle Elmer's ass before he kicks it? Why is he always singing show tunes? Why is he always sticking cylindrical objects into his mouth? Yes, I remember him drooling over Lola Bunny in Space Jam, but I just think he was trying to impress Michael Jordan
2. He-Man/Prince Adam (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)
I realize that VH1 touched on this, but they didn't go into enough detail to make their case. First of all Prince of Eternia Adam (sounds like a gay bar) wore a pink vest and PURPLE TIGHTS! He only wore a loin cloth when he turned into He-Man. That should be evidence enough right there. I didn't even have to mention his extremely queer haircut. Also, all of his power comes from his "sword".
1. Vanity Smurf (The Smurfs)
Vain to the extreme. Not only is he effeminate but he wears a flower in his hat. His voice makes it easy to judge him. Never without his hand mirror, Vanity is a true diva. Who is the fairest one of them all? Smurfette? Bitch Please. You're beautiful, Vanity Smurf, no matter what they say.
We've all watched cartoons at one time or another. I still do whenever I get the chance. When we were kids we thought that their homosexual traits were funny and didn't think anything of them. Now when we look back we wonder how we could have missed it. How could we miss the lack of the opposite sex in their lives. The way they talked and dressed made it obvious that they liked to smoke pole or munch rug, and we missed it. Now we watch these shows closer than we ever have before. Looking for signs to confirm our suspicions. I'm not talking about the obivious ones like Waylon Smithers, The Ambiguously Gay Duo, SpongeBob or Stewie Griffin who are suppose to be gay. I believe that the following characters weren't intended to be gay.
5. Velma (Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?)
Have you ever noticed that Velma is always sitting next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. She has no sense of fashion because she is always wearing a turtle neck sweater with a skirt and knee high socks. Sports a butch hair cut and broad shoulders. Most of all, has never ever tried to bribe Shaggy into poking her using her vast supply of Scooby Snacks.
4. Snagglepuss (The Yogi Bear Show)
First off have you ever heard this character speak? He sounds like he should be a cast member on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. All he wears are cufflinks and a bowtie, and, oh yeah, he's pink. He has one of the gayest catchphrases out there, "Heavens to Mergatroid". What the hell does that mean? Is that what he yells during intercourse? He is also always being chased by a man carrying a long shaft like object, which may or may not be a gun, and enjoying it way too much.
3. Bugs Bunny (Loony Toons)
Remember when Garth Algar asked Wayne if he though Bugs Bunny was attractive when he dressed up as a girl bunny? We thought twice about Garth's sexuality (until Honey Horny). What we didn't think about, or at least I didn't, was why was Bugs Bunny dressed in drag? Why does he always kiss Elmer Fudd on the mouth? Why does he fondle Elmer's ass before he kicks it? Why is he always singing show tunes? Why is he always sticking cylindrical objects into his mouth? Yes, I remember him drooling over Lola Bunny in Space Jam, but I just think he was trying to impress Michael Jordan
2. He-Man/Prince Adam (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)
I realize that VH1 touched on this, but they didn't go into enough detail to make their case. First of all Prince of Eternia Adam (sounds like a gay bar) wore a pink vest and PURPLE TIGHTS! He only wore a loin cloth when he turned into He-Man. That should be evidence enough right there. I didn't even have to mention his extremely queer haircut. Also, all of his power comes from his "sword".
1. Vanity Smurf (The Smurfs)
Vain to the extreme. Not only is he effeminate but he wears a flower in his hat. His voice makes it easy to judge him. Never without his hand mirror, Vanity is a true diva. Who is the fairest one of them all? Smurfette? Bitch Please. You're beautiful, Vanity Smurf, no matter what they say.
8 Comments
I totally agree....but you missed out....shaggy and scooby doo were obviously getting it on. Look at all the time they jump into each others arms, or the way that they fight like a married couple, or most importantly, whenever the 'bad guy' finds them they tumble out of their hiding place all tangled up like 2 high schoolers trying to get it on in the back of a geo metro.
Beastiality my friend...on tv.
Stewie had a girlfriend, damn it.
There's a popular rumor that the characters in Scooby Doo are modeled after the stereotypical students from various colleges in western Massachusetts. Velma allegedly represents Mount Holyoke, which is all girls, so her lesbian traits may be intentional.
The more likely scenario is that someone from one of these schools made this up to fool gullible losers like myself.
Shaggy and Scooby are just best friends who are more than likely high which will get you into those situations
Stewie was portrayed as gay in the Family Guy movie.
Dan, that's news to me. It could be true. I just always found it strange that Velma never tried to get with Shaggy. Because we all knew that Fred was knocking boots with Daphne.
40% of all men have had sexual relations with another man to the point of orgasm. This excludes the prison populations. I wonder how many men have gotten it on with really big dogs?
chad you have too much time on your hands if you're outing cartoon characters. And stewie griffin is not portrayed as gay in the movie, he's a pathetic 35 year old virgin. His sexuality is questioned in the show, mostly by brian, but he does get turned on by girls(in the episode where peter finds out that he has a black ancestor, watch it.)
HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE GREAT KAZOO FROM THE FLINTSTONES?
Totally forgot about that one.
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